Thursday, April 16, 2020

Weight 123.2, WW Bluepoints 13. I was in bed but awake from 10 pm - 4:30 am at which point I fell asleep for 2 hours. I had been sleeping well of late, but not last night. I struggled with craving peanuts between 3-4:30 when I watched TV to try to get sleepy but I didn't succumb.

Today I want to finish the thorough house cleaning I have been working at this week. I usually don't do it this thoroughly at this time of year but at least it will be clean for next year!

Other than that, I have my weekly WW meeting with the leaders here in Florida. Yesterday I attended part of one with the leader in Massachusetts.

Finally, though I am bored, sad about cancelled travel plans and worried about other people's health and finances, this pause in life is perhaps not a bad thing for me. It is giving me lots of time to contemplate what happened over the last year and process it slowly in small pieces.

I am also getting worried about Ann. I hope she is still just needing a break, not having issues with her surgery or illness.

Stay safe, stay home, stay healthy!

Good morning! Liz are your plans to stay in Florida for awhile yet? Seems as though Massachusetts is a covid hot spot right now. I'm sorry you can't swim anywhere right now. It sounds like perfect swimming weather.

Yesterday I did not do any school work after "quitting time". Now that I got that big chunk of paperwork behind me, I'm going to try and just work during the school day.

Some elephant ear bulbs arrived in the mail yesterday. I'm hoping to get them started in some pots this week, and then transplant them into flower beds in May. May 15 is generally our frost out date, although it can vary from year to year.

The sun is bright, the sky is blue, still in the 30s though. Snow is starting to melt.

I am definitely here until 5/14 so if Massachusetts has calmed down by then I will go home but I am playing it by ear. SIL is scheduled to leave 4/30 but will be deciding when closer to that. My county in Florida has a very flat curve with plenty of resources so right now I feel better here.

Thank you for your inquiries and messages.

Here's the deal ... my recovery has turned into a clusterfuck that was neither predicted by the surgeon nor anticipated by me. "This complication occurs in only 1% of surgeries," he said yesterday.

The complication is seromas that are forming and reforming on my face and neck. My body has not been absorbing those fluids well at all. Tuesday night (which was four weeks post-op) a very large seroma on my neck finally erupted through the skin. I can describe the experience only as frightening. I cleaned and sterilized the wound and applied antibacterial ointment to it. Yesterday I took the last dose of the antibiotic the surgeon prescribed for me a week earlier.

As I told my surgeon yesterday via email with photos and during a phone conversation I no longer know how to care for myself in recovery and need new, explicit instructions from him for what needs to be done at this point. He said he needs to see me in order to fully diagnose the issues and to prescribe next steps.

Today I will drive to see him at the hospital 100 miles away. I don't know what his advice or my next steps will be. But I am definitely NOT interested in hearing a continuation of past advice to "Be patient."

I am incredibly disappointed, highly anxious, and about as depressed as I can ever remember being in my entire life.

I've spent the last week binge-watching Netflix and sedating myself with carbs.

I will report in when I've got something to report AND when I have the energy and courage to do so. I don't know when that will be.

I hope you understand, but I am not able to have individual phone calls about this or even to field private emails of sympathy or encouragement. I just need to do whatever the next thing I'm supposed to do is, which I will do when I learn what that must be.

Again, I hope you understand.

Ann as someone who has been in your shoes with crushing plastic surgery complications, I fully get the range of emotions you must be experiencing from intense fear to overwhelming disappointment to why me to deep depression. Just know there is someone who understands.

I am so sorry - yes, of course we understand. Hopefully all can be treated and resolved to your satisfaction quickly. Hang in there!

Thank you. What you've shared is what I wanted to know. We'll await more news on a future better day.

Ann, I am so sorry to hear that. I wish you the best of luck and hope you will be well. I, too, have experienced complications from PS with an infection that developed in my implant which was also "less than 1%". I will be thinking about you and praying that you find that solution quickly and safely.

Ann, You are a very loved and treasured member of our tribe. Want you to know that and hope it helps you feel us standing behind you as you make the trip to see the surgeon today. I hope you come away with a better path than the patience direction - easy said and definately not easily done! Actions and a plan on sorting this out for you to your satisfaction is my wish for you.

Sending you my strength and a hug virtual hug xxxxxx We are here for you when you want to lean on us xxxxxx Much love friend

Oh, Ann! Not good, and I'm so very glad you are able to get to the Dr to have this attended to. Your attention to detail, perseverance, and willingness to follow through are all strengths that will see you through this! Praying for answers and a solid procedure to bring complete healing of body and spirit.