VSG Maintenance Group
Monday April 6, 2020
Workwise, today is going better than Thursday and Friday. I am more focused, and I am dividing tasks into chunks of time, instead of ping ponging from one thing to another. And I am so happy I brought my desk chair home. What a difference to be seated with some comfort. I'll never take arms on a chair for granted again. Simple pleasures.
DH is finishing up the project he started before quarantine: replacing our laminate flooring with wood flooring. He had to pull out the fridge to do the flooring under it, requiring us to empty most of the fridge. I took the opportunity to deep clean it, one of the most loathsome tasks I can think of. Feeling virtuous this morning.
I scored a Wal-Mart delivery slot for tomorrow. Victory.
on 4/6/20 10:38 am
It's pouring here today! Flash flood warnings and all. We should see up to two inches. It's a welcome thing as we're heading out of our rainy season and can use every drop.
I was encouraged today looking at the University of Washington covid projections. Since it doesn't look like you can go back to previous day's projections, I took screen shots along to way so I could see how it changed. California's projected needs and deaths have dropped like a stone. On March 31st, the projected deaths by August 4th was 5086. Today it's 1783. We have an excess of beds, ICU beds, and ventilators and are sending ventilators to NY today. The early orders to stay home are working and that is welcome news as quarantine fatigue sets in.
As an early adopter of staying at home (I really began to limit going out in late February), I have had enough of my own company. In an odd twist, I get irritated by connecting via video and phone too. I've always disliked both modes of communication, so having that be my only social outlet is not ideal. I hate the way I look on camera and being in need of hair color makes it feel all the worse. I don't need to feel ugly on top of all of this other stress!
I did make a list last night of all the things I could think of that I could do being stuck at home as I'm getting bored with my current routine. It's a long list and I feel zero compunction to do all of it, but it was helpful to get it down so in those moments when I can't think of anything I want to do, I have a list composed at a more sane time to choose from (or not!). I did do a few things from the list last night - vacuuming the upstairs and a follow on from that which was to clean the upstairs vacuum filters. With cleaning people I never have to vacuum, so had no idea the filter wasn't being emptied or cleaned. Good lord, a vacuum that sucks up mostly dog fur stinks when it doesn't get cleaned! So that was both a gross and satisfying checkmark. I hope once everything dries and gets reassembled, it smells better. How could it not?
My eating hasn't been great, but I'm going easy on myself. These are stressful times, and eating has always been my number one stress reliever.
My friends are still recovering and no word yet on whether any others in my aunt's nursing home have tested positive. Fingers crossed they locked the virus down there. My dad is back in Michigan and settling in. They tried grocery delivery, but the website was so hard to figure out, his wife went to the store. I didn't ask if my dad went too. It would have just caused an argument.
I'm thinking of you all.
on 4/6/20 3:08 pm
Oh my! I just thought the vacuum canister needed to be emptied and my house cleaners do that. I had no idea there were filthy filters lurking in there. Please note, I've been in this house for 15 years with at least one, sometimes 2 golden retrievers. 
The other tip I read that I plan to try is to vacuum up some of those Downy Unstoppables. I guess that keeps it smelling good (or smelling like floral chemicals and dog hair)!
Good Morning
Popping in from a MUCH happier household this Tuesday morning! Thank you all for your love and support, I needed to vent. It helped putting into words how I was feeling and also made me deal with it rather than trying to ignore it. I figured ignoring only makes it an allowed behaviour which it is most definately not. Our talk seems to have worked. I left him to mull over what I had said after asking him to really think about our emotional needs and comfort levels. I worked till 3pm and then went for a 2 hour nap which was much needed. It was DH turn to cook so he did the roast and made a delicious meal. I got up and was able to rest much more. I did do some chores after dinner including helping him bottle the last of the tomato sauce but didnt end up sore and achy.
Today is 3 weeks since I had my surgery and I feel I am doing a lot better. Finished my slow release pain killers script and dont think I will be getting another. Made it thru the day with just paracetamol. I have other pain killer options if needed and do take them when I need too. I have a mini step ladder beside my wardrobe and try to do my stretching exercises every time I get up. It amazes me how stiff your knee gets if you dont keep releasing the joint. The physio comes again on Thursday morning so hopefully is happy with my progress. Only thing Im slow on is being able to lift my heel when sitting on the bed. Its the weirdest feeling - my mind wills it but it just wont happen. Fingers crossed that sorts soon
Much love to you Bonnie as you grieve your SIL. Sudden loss is so hard to process and accept. Be kind to yourselves and know there is no right or wrong way to travel this path - do what brings you comfort and peace xxxxx
Not much on today, just work and I want to do a little dusting after work I think. The kitchen is now back to how I like it - with clear benches and things packed away. Isnt it funny how things being in a mess can really up-end how you feel -well for me anyways. The kitchen benches have been a thing since I was a single mum with kids at primary school. I would pick them up from after school care, shop on the way home for dinner supplies. I always made sure the bench was clear so I had a clean surface to come home too and start dinner preparation before feral hour started. It was a jumble of homework, dinner, showers and preparation for the next day followed by stories and bed. Seems so long ago now.
Hope you all have a wonderful day. Sending you a safe distance hug (if there was such a thing) from Australia. You are all in my thoughts every day
S
DAY. FROM. HELL!
Oh, I can laugh about it now, but this morning was a **** show and cluster **** example of the left hand not telling the right hand what the hell it's been up to.
I spent literally 8-9 hours straight yesterday working on this Distance Learning stuff for my kiddos. I had no issues doing it. It is necessary. I set up and scheduled zoom meetings and google meetings and converted files to pdf's to post for easy downloading and printing online. I set up a google classroom for my kids last week and spent yesterday filling it with assignments. I have a master lesson plan for the week for parents so they know what's going on. I went to bed feeling ready to rock n roll today.
Got up, made coffee, got cleaned up and dressed for school, sat down at the computer and then the **** show started. I could not log on as a teacher/meeting host on Zoom. Turns out our district opened a business account for Zoom, which allows us a little more security, which is much needed when working with students on line. We were all asked to join the district's business account, which I did. What the district failed to tell any of us was that once we accepted the invitation to join the business account, someone in the district office late last night decided to reconfigure the settings for the Zoom group account without telling anyone that every one of us would have to log out of Zoom, shut our computers down and restart them. I had a class of kiddos waiting for me on line and I could not access my Zoom meetings and Zoom would not recognize me as the host of the meeting. At 9:40 after 15 minutes of trying one thing and then another and another, I texted one mom and then sent a group email out to the parents of the class asking them to log on to a Google Meeting. I got that set up and gradually most of the kids logged on to that meeting. We went over the work and then I spent the next hour answering questions for parents. By 11:00 am I was ready for a drink. Since I don't drink I settled for coffee.
I took a break and reached out to my teacher colleagues and went back to it. I spent another hour plus figuring out what to do with the Zoom account and stumbled across a portal that took me to my account. I am now once again master of my zoom meetings. The next hours were spent answering parent emails and text messages about how to access the work. Gonna say it here, because I wrote it so often over the past 12 hours... The Google Classroom is for students, not adults. Adults can not access the material for their children. Children have their own Google accounts they have been using since September. They must use their accounts to access the student assignments. I know I will say it again and again this week.
This is a huge burden for parents. I am beginning to realize how much of a burden it is and how ill equipped some parents are for this challenge. Some of the parents are already overwhelmed. I feel for them. I really do. Hand holding of parents will become a much bigger part of the norm of my job in the coming weeks. I decided to stop answering parent emails at 9:00 pm tonight. I got another two just before 10:00 pm. I will answer them tomorrow.
I met with my therapist today by phone. We spent the entire session talking. There were some very raw moments. I realized how much I have been feeling the past weeks. The new work style, dealing with new work pressures, staying at home, being isolated, adjusting to being with Ron 24/7 with no break, helping my BFF manage his emotional needs with all the changes happening (this is very important and non negotiable), missing my students, the stress of COVID-19 weighing on us all, and then the loss of my darling Ella is an awful lot to manage. Just writing about Ella brings sadness welling up from the depths and puts a pressure behind my eyes that frightens me.
I have been eating a few cookies here and there to help me cope with everything. I can honestly say that I'm okay with the eating. I really, truly, sincerely am. Such a feeling of peace came over me as I realized talking with the shrink that I'm not putting shame upon myself for not even trying to lose weight through all of this. Kind of a nice feeling. It feels kind.
Positives about about my new work life. I will talk more about those tomorrow. It is not just stress and strife. There are some really great plusses to this on line teaching life.
Sweet Dreams!
