04/05/2020 Sunday

Bonnie, I am so sorry ! Words don't begin to console. We are here for you !

I am so so sorry for Rich and your whole family. How awful for everyone. Hopefully once you process it you can all be thankful that your SIL didn't suffer too long.

OMG! I am so, so sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to Rich and his mother. That's just awful. Sincere condolences. Thinking of you on this bleak Palm Sunday.

My heart breaks for your sister in law and family, Bonnie. To not be able to come together and comfort each other is an especially cruel side effect of this nightmare we're in.

What terrible, shocking news! There are no words.

Oh Bonnie, my heart is breaking for you all. Sending all my love and strength to all of you. Words just seem inadequate. May she RIP & beautiful memories of the times you spent with her bring some comfort over the coming weeks.

Greetings

Yesterday's post was eaten. Our internet was messing up. DH finally had to reboot the entire house from the electrical box. No clue why except we have so much in the way of electronics thats the way it is.

Struggled with an on line Cover relief paycheck loan for our gallery. I foolishly assumed we could submit all the documents on paper. Not so. Hope it works

I didn't sleep last night either. Awake at 3 am - not usual for me. I think its due to excess napping and inactivity.

Made goulash last night. Ground beef, onions, can of tomatoes and a can of red beans. No noodles. Its quite good. Needs paprika and I have none. A blob of sour cream makes it perfect.

Thinking of you all. Onward. Diane S

Goulash does sound good! You are right Diane, onward it must be.

Good Morning - Popping in after a bad nights sleep - must be worldwide at the moment huh....

Weight is up 172.92 - as is swelling so no surprise there

Had a difficult weekend with DH mood swings. Cabin Fever? Frustration at having to do more than he usually does as I try to take time to heal but end result was a feral person who snapped my head off if I dared to breath in his direction the wrong way! Made both my mum and I feel like we walked on egg shells. I dont want her time here to be witnessing that nor her to feel in anyway uncomfortable. He apologised Sunday morning - I forgave him but then within an hour was right back to the same behaviour. Im left feeling guilty that I cant do as much which I shouldnt be, its not fair. I am already doing way more than I should be - I have cooked the last 4 nights meals, helping with sauce and chutney making, cleaning and washing. I cant go down to the garage or up to the chooks - as I dont feel steady enough on my crutch yet but seriously - I had surgery 3 weeks ago tommorrow and I should feel I can take the time to heal at the pace I need. For once in my life I dont want to have to push myself to step up but feel if I dont it will only make his moods worse. SO there is the reason I didnt sleep well .......... Rant over. I plan to pull him aside this morning before I wake my mum up for her apt and tell him exactly how this is making me feel - hoping he will take the time to consider what is said and takes it on board. This is a small house and with him working from home too - its almost suffocating at times.

On a more positive note, we did a family zoom conference. All our kids joined in and it truely made my day to see them all laughing and chatting - showing us new Rabbits, the grandbabies and sharing their news. We are going to make it a weekly thing on Sunday afternoon. It will help a little to stay connected in such difficult times.

Mum has the blood nurse coming today. I have her mask ready to wear. Its a better option to have it done here as opposed to taking her to the clinic as we need to keep her exposure to others at a bare minimum given her health issues. I watched too much TV and heartbreak last night. It weighed heavily on my mind, thinking of everyone struggling out there. Praying that this starts levelling out soon.

Well I had best go start my day, Im back at work full time. I expect our consultancy work will take a predicted nose dive this week, so I need to keep quoting renewals etc as that should generate some more work for the Engineer. For now our jobs are safe as we should qualify for the Job Keeper payment put in place by the government. As for everyone, its a day by day prospect at present

Love to you all x

Hugs! Vent all you need. From what you've shared before, it sounds like your husband can see your point of view once he's calmed a bit. Anxiety is a terrible taskmaster sometimes, and makes even kind people rough. Stand your ground dear, you have every right to heal, plus have a tranquil home shelter for both you and your mother.