03/21/2020, Saturday

Thank you for the privilege of your trust. You are right, this is a safe place. These are strange days indeed. I do think you are right though, the willingness to post your number indicates an emotional shift to think about what you want to do. It's the first step. Even if your plan right now is to continue as you have been doing, because that's what you handle at the moment. No right or wrong.

David, I am right there with DD about this being one of the safest spaces in the world for us and about feeling the privilege of your trust.

All my talk about "I'm not perfect, so I'll do my best, whatever that is right now" is about to be tested. My life is not going to be close to normal, much less perfect, for a very long time.

I really like one of those quarantine questions that DianeO brought to our attention the other day: "What expectations of 'normal' am I letting go of today?" Turns out, it's the hardest of all the quarantine questions for me to answer every morning.

And in other news, my skinny pants finally fit--just when I need them NOT to fit. LOL!

I have felt that embarrassment myself, but it's all coming from my internal judgement of myself, never once from anyone here as this is the group in my life that understands this side of myself better than anyone! Take this virtual hug from me...

David, I have been where you are all to frequently and all too recently. I understand the embarrassment, but I understand, too the freeing that actually posting the number facilitates. I think the fact that you are willing to post your number here is really indicative of your acceptance of your present truth and the desire to change it. At least, that's how I have found it works for me.

Thanks for your trust. Everyone of us gets it. After a lot of research I have learned that men who have disordered eating issues have a much more difficult time getting better than our female counter parts. There is speculation as to why. I believe it has to do with several reasons. First, weight is an equal gender issue, but disordered eating is highly identified with females, not men. Men should be able to suck it up and just do it. We don't have disordered eating, we just lack control. Given that premise, most weight loss programs and therapies are female centered. Up until a couple of years ago it was very difficult to find a program with a really good male focus. Third, the medical profession seems to be overall inclined to treat men differently when it comes to weight loss. I now most of my male friends are given tactics on how to drop the weight quickly by physicians, but are not supported long term addressing the root causes of their weight gain or obesity. I have spent thousands of dollars in therapy to better understand my eating disorder. I'm aware that each and every time that I Just F'ing Did It, I was adding fuel to my eating disorder. For some of us the JFDI approach does WAY more harm than good.

My advice to you at this point: Don't focus on weight loss. Choose ONE eating behavior which you would like to change and create a doable and sustainable plan to change that ONE behavior. The one I chose to focus on first was not eating sugar until after I left school for the day. I have stuck with that focus now for a few weeks. I have dropped 9 pounds simply by focusing on that one issue. I'm not dieting. I am eating "Bad" things, but I am not out of control and keeping the sugar at bay until the late afternoon or evening is helping a great deal. If I am craving during the day, I can eat ANYTHING I want other than refined, processed sugar foods. Fruit, beef jerky, a sandwich, yogurt and berries, anything goes as long as it isn't a baked good, ice cream, candy, chocolate, etc...

We are all alone in this, but we have a **** load of support and understanding at our finger tips with this group.

Such good thoughts, Devon! They give me some better insights regarding a dear friend who has struggled all his life with weight. He's never been obese, although he thinks he is (and maybe he is just barely, sometimes). He doesn't binge-eat, but he really loves food--loves cooking and entertaining (it's probably his favorite thing to do) and hates on himself terribly when he doesn't fit into his "nice clothes." We're so mean to ourselves, aren't we! I think we should stop doing that.

:)

Good Morning All

Approximately 3 hours till I head home and I cant wait. The thought of an uninterupted nights sleep is bliss indeed. My own bed, puppies and peace await.

Will try and check in later x

S

Well done!! Good sleep awaits!

Great news!

If you need one if us to call you in the middle of the night and scream, I'm sure it could be arranged. After all, it would be day here, and we're all just sitting around....

Greetings Home Bodies

Glad that Shirley is almost a home body. No place like home. Wonder what I will think about being home in another 3 weeks? Guv says we have to stay home until the 19th of April. It is making a ruin of the art studio since our classes are at 10 week intervals. Now I have to figure out how to work Zoom so we can do virtual board meetings. My live-in computer tech is asleep at the moment.

There is plenty to do around here but I just want to nap and goof off. I really miss the swimming pool.

Well Ann and Shirley and DH Chuck, heal up fast. And good on you DianeO for donating the cleaner. We have a few of those good face masks (bought for times of fires) and I feel like we should give them to the hospital. Trouble is I don't want to go there to offer them. I guess there is a way.

Devon that letter from your student is so cute. Love it. Glad you posted.

Dave glad you feel safe here. Yeah we know each others weights, vices, and poop habits. What are friends for?

Well I am finally getting DH to put the planters and furniture back on the deck. I could plant flowers if the nursery was open. The hippy food coop does have plant starts but I can't see going out for those. Who knows what germs lurk.

I think I will go lurk in the bedroom in front of the TV. Nap coming on.

Diane S