Tuesday, March 17, 2020 - St. Patrick's Day

Weight 125.4, WW Bluepoints ???? I ate what I felt like eating yesterday at a friends home and had several glasses of wine. Birthday celebration sort of...

I don't know if my DD should come. I think part of her motivation is to not be alone, but I'm getting afraid. Bars and restaurants are still open here, but as I mentioned yesterday all my community facilities are closed and some beaches are closed. I don't get why a beach would be closed, but not a bar????

I think we have a good supply of food etc. so I think we will be okay staying home, but how long will this be? What will the world be like afterwards? Will I have any investment money left? I thought it would be dissipated by DH's stay in long-term care, but now it may disappear due to this pandemic.

I hope all goes well for Ann and Chuck today and am looking forward to a check-in from Shirl.

Stay healthy!!!

So much uncertainty! We are hoping our daughter will come to our house, but the cir****tances are different. As she starts working from home, she has to share her small apartment with at least one roommate who is also working from home. At our house, she'd have her own bathroom, bedroom and an office, a yard, much less density...

The investment issue is sobering. Let's hope this is all short term, but who knows?

Posting from the surgery waiting room. Had to be here at 5 AM and went through extensive screening to enter the hospital. All elective surgeries HERE at THIS hospital are canceled starting tomorrow. The VA process for authorization of outside doctors and hospitals would have been virtually impossible to navigate again, so I'm feeling blessed DC is in surgery as we speak.

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I'm glad DH made it in just under the wire. I hope all goes well.

No weight today. Female time. Raining and isolation. 4 pet accidents yesterday using up scarce cleaning supplies. Still have to clean neato. Aggravated.

So happy to hear from Shirl and glad to hear from Diane O. that Chuck's surgery is in under the wire. Looking forward to healthful check ins from everyone.

I am starting to get a glimpse at how fortunate I am across the board. Placed hopefully my last grocery delivery order and can hole up for 3 weeks or more. Much beyond that is a challenge with girls needing formula and milk. But will reassess.

For now I still plan to see family. I'm not so worried about us as I am my parents. But my sister (who's in med school rotations) lives with them. Some things just must be. I feel like my parents are pretty healthy but if my grandmother were still alive I'd be very worried.

So at this point we are still having my parents over for a St. Patrick's day corned beef dinner. Some normalcy.

I may have to start shutting off news soon. But I also feel like my no****ching news led to me underestimating this problem. So idk.

Many of you may have heard president suggest things not returning until July, August or later. I sure hope maybe he's trying to lower our expectations. Geez I cannot imagine that. We canceled our April vacation plans and have decided we probably will not be able to see family in Florida this summer. But now I'm wondering about August plan for San Antonio?!!

I guess whatever will be will be.

We are making plans to travel mid August. My thought is, by then, most of us will have contracted the virus and won't have to worry about infecting anyone else.

Liz-I know what you mean. I feel so much uncertainty and fear. I'm most concerned for my parents who hoped to retire in the next few years but who, like most others, 401ks have dropped out the bottom.

We have had the same thing happen, of course, but we hope there is time to rebuild.

My brother in law is big in an airline company. I worry about them.

My husband is big in the oil industry (as is a lot of Oklahoma.). One of the gas stations had gasoline for $1.25. The sight of that alone makes me want to vomit. Places may have to start laying off (again) in this state of crisis.

I worry for people with soooo sooo much more uncertainty than we have.

I'm a worrier, control freak, pessimist in the best of times.

BUT I think we'll get through this and figure it all out once the dust settles. I'm going to try out being an optimist for a day. I hope this is like when weathermen forecast a blizzard and instead you have a dusting of snow. I'm not suggesting that we shouldn't take it seriously and prepare. Not at all. In fact, unlike my weather analogy, I think our heeding the warning might actually cause it to be less of an issue. But I really hope that 6 weeks from now things have mostly returned to normal and everyone has a huge hunger to get out, innovate, work, and spend money again. Probably irrational thinking but I can hope for now!

Oh and on a positive note (I think lol!) Charlotte keeps standing up and balancing in the middle of the floor. She could be walking very soon.

Weight ?

First off, thinking of our surgery friends today and sending good thoughts!

I had a major meltdown in the middle of the night. I couldn't sleep again and was listening to my audiobook and got to the end which was unexpectedly really sad. I was crying from that and then the feelings merged with my anxiety over this pandemic and all the havoc it's wreaking and I have been feeling extra all alone lately so that joined in as well. I sobbed for about a half an hour. I got down on the floor to cuddle up to Ferg and he moved to get away. So much for dogs being a comfort! When I was cried out with a headache and eyes totally puffed up, I broke out in big itchy hives along my scars as has been happening occasionally since all this started (whole new anxiety symptom). I down Benadryl, a Reece's peanut butter egg, and a Diet Coke and watched sitcoms until I passed out.

Why do worries feel so much more out of control and scary in the middle of the night?? Nighttime amplifies all of my worries a hundred fold. Not that daytime these days feels much better, but I seem to lose perspective and the ability to talk myself off these ledges in the dark. On the other hand, I think I needed to get some of this out.

My dad seems not to be taking all of this very seriously and from reading things on social media, a lot of people are struggling to get their older parents to take it seriously. It's frustrating. He's golfing today. They invited me to come out and spend time with them and I declined. I love them, but we're all better off staying put.

Enough of that. No matter what, this is all temporary. How long is still a question, but it's still temporary.

Hugs my friend.

I think we are a lot feeling this way. I feel this way and remind myself of all the things I have to be grateful for. Which kind of makes me feel better and kind of makes me feel like I "shouldn't" feel the way I do, yet I do. As to the nighttime, for me I know I have a "get it done" attitude throughout the day. And at night I'm tired (which makes me more emotional), but it's quieter and that allows these thoughts to think in. I've always been a control freak, planner, worrier, pessimist. But I'm also extremely extroverted.

We're trying to do the right thing now and stay in--but I do feel for everyone and all the fears they are facing. I know so many people are hurting right now!!

Thanks, Bonnie!