Wednesday, March 11, 2020

Weight 126.2, WW Bluepoints 14. I'm feeling like I declared 125 too quickly. I hovered there for a couple of days but have been 126 or more more days than not all week. Unless I drop at least .6 between today and tomorrow's WW weigh-in, I'm going to potentially show a slight gain, the opposite of my weekly goal which was a slight loss. The coming next two weeks will be difficult with eating and drinking. I have dinner functions on this Thursday, Monday and Tuesday. Out with friends on Saturday, my birthday on Monday, then both DD's arrive next Thursday for a long weekend. I'd like to not gain.

Focussing on WW and tracking/weighing is helping me feel somewhat in control again while the world is spinning out of it. I am officially gaining lots of anxiety around coronavirus though it takes a lot for me usually. I'm afraid for family and friends whose health is not optimal. What if I get sick, give it to someone else and they die? What about the economic and social impact? Both the Boston and Worcester Massachusetts St. Patrick's parades were cancelled. What will happen with the Boston Marathon? What about additional sports events???

I think I might feel better if there appeared to be a coordinated plan being developed in the US to control this, but every area seems to be reacting independently. Massachusetts did declare a state of emergency, but if one state implements great controls but others don't, what is the point? Will we close the borders of each state???

Anyway, I'm tired. I was up several times with Justice last night as his digestive system has been a little off. And up an hour earlier than usual with him (5:40 am).

I hope you all have more optimism today!

1. Within Range: .4 over
2. Blue SmartPoints: 20
3. General Wellbeing: 8.5
4. FSF: meditating on the deck ; employing Ann's lean into it and breathe into it approach
5. Yesterday's Insights: An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

We had to stop by our local VA yesterday to pick up post surgery pain killer Rx for DC. (The surgeon did tell us that if there were any positive or suspected Covid-19 cases hospitalized, all elective surgeries would be cancelled.) The VA did a minimal screening at the entrance, simply asking about travel. This loosey goosey crap allows people infected without symptoms to spread it, potentially to those who will become critically ill. I totally support what Cuomo is doing north of NYC. It is going to be a challenging few months !

Weight: 135.6 ... LIGHT THE FIREWORKS! I've reached my 100-pound weight loss target, the first time in over a year before NOLA!
Macronutrients: Cals - 1,364, Carbs - 146, Fats - 31, Proteins - 98, Fiber - 36
WW Green SmartPoints: 29
Water: 1
Fitbit Recorded Sleep: 5'8" (that's two nights of not enough sleep; I'll probably take a nap midday)
Exercise: 85" yoga class (turned into a brutal abs workshop!) and 10,459 steps

Finally! Feels so good to be back at my 100-pound weight loss point. Sometimes I wish I didn't obsess about weighing this weight as much as I do, but there's a definite upside to being wired like this. In any event, I am glad to have persevered these last 2.5 months to lose the same number of pounds I used to lose in a month.

Here's my 90-day weight report from My Fitness Pal showing morning weights since returning from my last big trip and illustrating how very up and down the 9.4 pound weight loss has been. It's not easy to tolerate this kind of fluctuation, but after 5.5 years I have become a bit more sanguine about it all.

Re the coronavirus, like others here I'm not over-worried about my own response to the virus or even the disease. Certainly, living alone makes it quite easy to self-quarantine if I need to do so. I've prepared well and will continue to behave as responsibly as I can. Like Liz, I just don't want to lose the companionship of friends and relatives I love who are much more at risk or want to see them suffer.

This morning I'm reminded of something Michelle told me last summer during our last phone call. She had asked her doctor for advice about what she should do when her death became imminent, and her doctor said: "You don't have to do anything. This disease is making all the decisions now. You can relax." Michelle sounded quite pleased about the news that "things" were now beyond her control.

Maybe it seems bizarre for that counsel to be reassuring, but for me it actually was and is. Doing our very best in cir****tances we cannot control really is all we can do ... for ourselves and those we love. And then we must find our way to relax into what is happening and simply accept it.

In other news, I was happy to vote yesterday. Always makes me happy to vote and get my little "I Voted!" sticker (and a little dopamine reward!).

A.

Congratulations!!!!

On the issue of relaxing once things are beyond our control, that is something I have to ponder. I guess that is how I felt once DH was on hospice (as opposed to the weeks leading up to that where there was no way to "fix" things but I kept trying to find one).

Liz, I'm not surprised you want to ponder that for a while. Almost everyone does.

In fact, "letting go" isn't comfortable for most of us, but definitely not for those who are wired like I'm guessing you are.

After hanging out here for the last few years, I would bet you would show up as an "ESTJ" personality type on the Myers Briggs personality typing inventory. The MB theory of personalities (the theory was inspired by acolytes of Jungian psychology) defines ESTJ personality types as those who are wired to manage, control, direct, and indeed try to fix everything they feel responsible for. And boy, do they feel responsible. ESTJ is the classic "executive" personality.

https://www.16personalities.com/estj-personality

(I have a faint memory that there was a conversation here earlier about Myers Briggs personality types ... or maybe that was a different online community.)

Anyway, ESTJ or not, accepting negative outcomes isn't easy for any of us. I certainly can't claim that as one of my superpowers.

I did a test at one point and I was ISTJ, but I think I was on the edge of I vs E. But yes, always a high need for control.

BTW, this is my weight pattern since I started at WW on 12/18:

Sooo interesting! I love data. :)

Good Morning All

Still working from my bed. Floors are a fiddly job and taking longer than I expected. Had to tell DS to stay at his Dads last night and will likely be the same tonight as his room is full of "stuff". Waiting on the floorer to arrive. Its looking amazing and Im excited to see it finished. I will have to cancel our cleaner for tommorrow as the place is a zoo at present.

Weight is same as yesterday so thats good. DH is trying to loose some weight but I dont like his methods. He has put on a lot of weight on his belly which isnt healthy. He is fasting till lunchtime then only eating fruit for lunch, then his evening meal. Still having a beer or two at night. I suggested 3 smaller meals filled with protein but he wants to do it his way so Im hushing. Its not helping that Im eating like a horse and loosing weight. Thinking it must be all the running around and I need to reign it in before my surgery when I will far more still

Popped out yesterday to get some more supplies and finally managed to get mum and I some hand sanitizer. A tiny one was $6 and hidden behind the counter at the chemist. At least I can give her one. Had a big discussion with her about preparing and got her head around what 2 weeks isolation would mean. I dont think she had fully grasped it. Shes going out to grab some more groceries and her medications today. I have asked her to stay away from public areas as much as practical once thats done. We have also discussed that if it happened that we would be isolated that I want her to come live with us during that time. That way I can keep an eye on her etc. She is my biggest worry with all the pre existing breathing issues etc. We are now seeing staff being asked to work from home and I think this will only increase. We are scrambling to offer up "at home" packages to our clients who may need to close their offices and shift staff home. As the days and weeks march on, we will only see an increase in cases but my head space is all we can do is prepare and take precautions. I am a little concerned about my knee operation next Tuesday but will have to wait and see what happens. We are mostly powerless in a sense to stop this morphing into what it will become. Care, preparation and responsible informed decisions is all we can do I feel at present. The rest is up to the governing bodies to make decisions based on whats best for everyone. Heres to them making them in a timely and sensible manner......

Not a lot on this afternoon after work. Hoping that the dining area will be finished so DH and I can start clearing out some of the bedrooms into there but will see. I think I will ask that our room be done last so I can continue working. At this stage the floorer is working here on Saturday so DH will have to go to the farm Fri night on his own to top up the calves water tank and check everything.

Ann - congratulations on reaching your goal :) Well done x

Liz - Hope Justice feels a bit better soon and you get some rest

Diane O - Good luck with all the prep for DC - when is his operation scheduled?

Hello to all that follow. I had better go and do some more work and another cup of tea is on the agenda :)

S

X

Thank you, Shirl. Like you I'm assuming my surgery will happen next week. Getting excited!