Thursday, 1/16/2020

Weight: 141.2
Veggies/Fruits: 7
Macronutrients: Cals - 1,350, Carbs - 106, Fats - 44, Protein - 91, Fiber - 20
Green SmartPoints: 36
Water: 1 cup
Sleep: 7.75 hours
Exercise: 9,382 steps

I'll start us off again today. Liz, I'm imagining that you're physically and emotionally exhausted this morning after the last few weeks. I'm sure thinking of you, my friend.

Yesterday was quiet, and I didn't leave the house, which was lovely after my busy Tuesday. Today is yoga class, WW meeting, grocery shopping and book club luncheon at an "Italian restaurant" that is truly awful. Even their salads suck. But the discussion should be good.

OK ... 2020 travel plans. Here's what's on the books thus far:

February - Mardi Gras (2 weeks)

May - Venice with side trips to Tuscany and Sicily (3 weeks)

July - Iowa City for writing courses (2 weeks)

August - friends' annual East Coast beach holiday (1 week)

September - expedition cruise to Alaska and the Russian Far East (2 weeks).
I enjoyed the Antarctica expedition so much that I've decided to do another trip on that ship instead of the Himalayan trek I was considering.

November - a long, slow transatlantic cruise from Barcelona to Florida (15 days)
Lately, I've been yearning for some quiet me-time, so this cruise will round off the year nicely.

All told, that's thirteen weeks or three months of travel, which seems like a good proportion of home and away time. I'll be with friends on all the trips except for the two cruises, where I'm going alone, but will make many new friends once I get there.

I'll also make some shorter trips this year to visit family, see out-of-town plays and concerts, and hang with friends. Sadly, in 2020 I also expect to attend funerals of several family members and friends. As we've discussed recently, many of us are in the funeral season of life, and this also requires us to travel.

I'm glad to have settled my plans and quite excited about these adventures. Admittedly, travel can be stressful, but (for me) the rewards are so lovely and worth all the planning and effort. This year I do hope to be less stressed about all the "getting there and back" by getting organized much sooner than I'm wont to organize air travel.

And that's all the news worth printing.

Weight 134.2, WW points 44 more or less (probably more)

Wow Ann. I am impressed by how far you've planned ahead and it looks really exciting! I'd like to aspire to be you in a year or two, but I think it will take time. Though I do have a little bit planned/thought of:

• Florida: 2/2-5/14
• Aruba: 6/6-6/19
• Tuscany/Venice: September?
• Florida: October-April
• Ireland: March 2021?

One last day of funeral rites: burial is at 11:30. Because I wanted a private family burial we couldn't fit it in yesterday. The mass yesterday was beautiful - the music and the readings were perfect and BIL gave a wonderful eulogy. Because the priest is an old friend, he could speak personally about Paul. The organist and the two people doing the communion were close friends as well. I may have mentioned previously that I am not catholic though Paul and his family are. Regardless the mass was so personal it worked for me. I think we had 80 people at the luncheon where the food was tremendous (see WW points above...).

Enjoy your Thursday!

Great to hear how well it went yesterday for y'all, Liz. That sounds amazing ... 80 people at a delicious luncheon. And good on ya for enjoying all those WW points. :)

But damn, girl! Your 2020 travel plans sound pretty wonderful to me! Absolutely wonderful, as a matter of fact.

A.

Good morning friends!

Checking in again today. I hope to be a lttle more regular of a reader/poster here.

Ann, your 2020 travel plans sound splendid! So happy you get to do that! Our only real travel plans are to honeymoon on Maui for 2 weeks starting Feb. 18th. We are talking a family vacation to Florida over Christmas/New Year's next year but so far the feedback from the 2 20 year olds (his daughter and my middle son) are underwhelming - seems neither can decide whether is is worth their time - entitled little ****s!

Liz, Paul's services sound wonderful. Happy you could send him off in a way that is pleasing to him and you! (Hugs for the days, weeks and months to come).

Busy day today. Will view our wedding/family portraits and try to figure out what to order. Meet with the planner for our reception too. We will be having a smallish party - ****tails, pizza buffet and dueling pianos for around 100 people. Wish you were all closer. I would love to have you there! Will also celebrate DS #3's 17th b-day today (even though his bday is tomorrow). Japanese steak house hibachi!

Love to you all!

Paula

I second everybody else's sentiments: It's so nice to "see" you back. I know you've got a lot of real life going on. But even when you're absent, you're still a member of this club, and we miss you.

Weight 197.6. One day the same followed by two days up .2 each day. I know it's normal, but it's irritating nevertheless.

I had coffee with a good friend yesterday who said it looked like I'd lost weight. She said, "I'm afraid you can't hide weight gain in your face." She's right, but does one need to hear such things voiced out loud? The good part is I picked well at Starbucks. Switching from my normal latte to a cappuccino and having skim milk instead of 2% dropped the points down to 3. I am still morally opposed to skim milk. Blue opaque water. Yuck.

This morning I need to pick up my house as the cleaning people are coming and I forgot it was their Thursday. Whoopsie. Probably shouldn't be using this time for typing, but I'm procrastinating. I might go to Panera for lunch with my book to kill time. A half spicy thai salad and fruit is 6 points. Oh! And I have my therapist. Almost forgot that too. Don't know where I've left my brain this morning.

Ann, your travel sounds amazing! Liz, thinking about you on yet another hard day. Paula, great to see you!

It is raining. Students are berserk! LOL! It's actually sweet how kids get excited about stormy weather. It reminds me of how I loved the wind as a child. Well, actually, I still love, love, LOVE super windy weather! LOL!

Okay, I'm doing my best to get back on the WW Blue band wagon. Breakfast, AM snack and lunch are all on target.

Ann, that is one hell of a travel plan! Frankly, I'm blown away by it. I can't even fathom doing half of that in a single year! Of course, I'd have to cram it all in in 8 weeks during June and July, so it wouldn't work anyhow!

Liz, hope you are able to center yourself and find some peace in the upcoming days.

Ceci, if your friend is a true and dear friend, then it's okay. If she's not in that category, "she a *****". It's kind of like my dad commenting on the return of my "massive gut".

I have not exercised at all in a week. Tsk, tsk, tsk.... I tried to explain to Ron last night that training is often like bearing my soul. I put a lot of faith and trust into my body and have to accept it for what it is when I train, but I am not able to see beyond the out layers of blub right now. When that happens my focus wavers, my strength wanes and my soul twists from my gut all the way up to behind my eyes. I react to my visualized inadequacy and I feel a tension and tingle that limits my breath.

I have pondered. I remember my mom once said that it was very hard for her to be hungry and she felt miserable when she dieted. I always thought that had to do with the time during her childhood when Germany fell and she fled to the west with her mother and sisters. They had little to eat for very long stretches of time. I'm guessing now that it may have been more along the lines of what I am experiencing - a feeling of inadequacy about being able to lose and maintain weight on my own. It's hard. I am sorting through a lot of feelings about how I eat. I am still baffled by the absolute draw to binge eating behavior when I am stressed, upset, and feeling frustrated and hopeless, less than and undeserving.

That's about all I've got for now.

I hate to "like" your post, except I do LIKE that you are saying out loud what you're feeling inside. Your feelings are not invisible to you.

But it does bring out my fairy godmother instincts, as in: "Poof! It's gone!"

Yeah, I do know that doesn't work.

It's extremely good that I know these things. 6 years ago I would have said I was a volume eater and not an emotional eater. I also would not have admitted to others the depth of my self insecurities and my feelings of being undeserving of success and happiness. What I am still striving towards is knowing what to do with this information and how to use it to help myself get to where I want to be weight wise.

I am pissed that at 55 years old weight is still a ******g focal point of my life and my perception of self worth and happiness.

"I am pissed that at 55 years old weight is still a ******g focal point of my life and my perception of self worth and happiness."

You are not alone.

I'm 74, and weight is still a ******g focal point of my life and my perception of self worth and happiness.