12/30/2019 Monday

That sounded really snobby on rereading! You should get your money's worth, but filling 100oz Big Gulps to overflowing with soft serve to do it, admittedly raises my eyebrows...

You can get your money's worth without the soft serve binge. You can go to the shows, spend sometime singing in the piano bar, go to high tea, try something new at dinner you've never eaten before, walk on the treadmill with the ocean view in front of you, walk around the port if you don't want to buy an excursion, have room service, go to a craft class, have a ****tail and watch the sunset... there are a million things to do besides eat yourself silly. When we cruise (and we go on the more moderate cruises), we eat breakfast and lunch in the dining room whenever possible to avoid the buffets. Choosing from a menu, and having someone serve it cuts back on the temptation to over eat. And while everyone is jostling over the buffet, the dining room is a half empty tranquil oasis.

Yes exactly! You state it much more eloquently.

Good for you getting away with DH! That is so important when you have young children. Keeps your relationship strong and refreshes you both in dealing with the day to day.

I love cruises ! The biggest challenge for me was 24/7 buffets. I tried to follow the same "kitchen is closed" mentality after dinner and between meals I try to ascribe to at home and I got lots of steps in around the deck. Remind me, where are you going ?

Good morning! Today, I have nothing planned. I'm sure a few tasks will present themselves, but I have no deadlines when they have to be done.

Anne, I do hope you get a cleaning service to come in. Back in the day when I had a twice a month service, all I had to do was an occasional quick wipe down of the bathroom, and the normal upkeep in the kitchen.

Liz, continuing to pray for peace for your dear husband, and again I say, your devotion to his care is moves my heart. You may say you are only doing what you must, but there are many people who abandon their duty to "for better or worse, in sickness and in health". Should my husband ever endure what Paul is suffering, I pray I could do what you are doing.

Diane, you embody the word: resilience. Whatever you encounter, however cir****tances change, you find the resilience to confront the new normal, to find a way to live the life you want for yourself.

Bonnie, my parents always took a vacation every year without us. When I was old enough to have memories of these events, they are happy ones. I loved the week or two at my Auntie or Grandma's house, or my Mom's bff. We used to joke that they would call to say they missed us and we'd be like, yeah, gotta go, Grandpa's taking us to Dairy Queen. :) I hope you enjoy your cruise. The last time we cruised, was 10 years ago for my parents 50th Anniversary. It was a perfect venue for a large group.

Thank you for your kind comments about my parents celebration. My parents said it was exactly what they were hoping for.

I've been thinking about what I find so onerous about "the festival" and I think it's the mental load. My DH is the gift giving expert in my family, and he buys and wraps almost everything. He puts up the tree and I decorate the rest of the house. My DH and my adult children are more than willing to help me, but I am the repository of all the details. Either I do the task or ask them to please: put the leaf in the kitchen table, bring the roaster up from the basement, put butter in the dish to soften, take the China out of the buffet, check the silver, how tarnished is it, find the Christmas tablecloths, light the candles, put out the guest hand towels in the bathroom, get out the ice bucket, we need to salt the sidewalk, bring a few more chairs into the living room, put out the sugar and creamer set, put cream in it, etc. etc. In addition to planning, buying and cooking the food. It's not that any of it is so hard, but, it feels like what I do all day teaching, juggling a hundred details, while performing one task, simultaneously looking ahead about what needs to be done 1st hour so that 6th hour goes off competently. And maybe I could say we're going paper plates etc, but that doesn't eliminate most of the other tasks. Food has to be served in some manner. And once the guests arrive, all bets are off. DH, bless his heart, becomes a guest himself in my view, in his view he is being a good host as he ushers them in, asks them what they want to drink, and then tells me, Sally would like a glass of red wine, and joins them in the living room. So, there you have my thoughts on the woman vs. men holiday workload, in my experience, in most, not all families, everyone will do the work, but the Mom does the bulk of the mental work and planning and has to designate and oversee the tasks that are assigned to others. And I am tired of doing it. It's good for me to write this down, so I can decide what I want for next year. 2 years ago, my family of 4 went to Universal Studios over Christmas, and it was the best. Christmas.ever. I woke up before everyone, got a coffee, and sat by the pool, under a Palm tree. Bliss. We had dinner at the hotel, and I ordered my food and had it brought to me, just like everyone else. Maybe again someday....

Boy, do I hear you on all of that, DD. 2010 was when DH and I hit the Christmas wall. We decided to go on a Christmas cruise for the rest of my work career and be out of the country and unreachable during the holidays. No more Christmas Eve parties, gift-openings, trees, bunting, holly or poinsettias. We were just done.

Go find some new palm trees next year!

Many years ago I cut this cartoon out of the newspaper and gave it to my husband. It's still posted inside a kitchen cabinet.