Thursday, December 26, 2019

I hope everyone had a good Christmas Day. I actually did in the afternoon with my children, family and friends. A little too much wine was involved, so DD drove me home. Sort of LOL.

I just read the riot act to the doctor that DH HAS to be kept out of his misery which means constant sleeping. He said that some of the drugs he has been on can suppress breathing and I assured him that I knew that and it is fine. I reiterated several times that the only goal here is to keep him calm, out of the misery he has been living in and let him die in peace when he is ready. He wanted to make sure that our children and DH's siblings were in agreement which they are. The RN we have had for multiple days backed me up as well. Hopefully the doctor got the message.

DD will arrive at the hospital shortly. She hasn't seen her Dad since summer, so I'm sure this will be difficult.

Pray that we can get out of here tomorrow!

Have a thoughtful Thursday.

Good for you, Liz!

Weight: 144.4 (up 1.2 pounds since yesterday)

Macronutrients: I have no idea, but they were all pretty darned good! :)

Exercise: I applied makeup and hairspray, got dressed, and drove for 2 hours.

Sleep: 7 hours without Tylenol PM, which means jet lag is over.

Happy Day After Christmas, everyone. I had a great Christmas. My favorite present (from a niece) was new Ear Pods for my new iPhone, and boy do I love them. For the record, I'm also in love with my iPhone.

I spent the morning deep-cleaning the kitchen which I'd left in a bit of a mess before departing for Antarctica, and the new Ear Pods and Pandora were a huge assist in getting underway with end-of-the-year housecleaning. A lot of dancing is also happening.

BTW, although I've mentioned this before, in 2020 I want to take dance lessons. I'd like some newer moves (imagine me mimicing Lizzo) and also appreciate that dancing is a great way to up my steps and exercise levels. Plus the simple fact that good music makes life so much more fun.

There's a lot to get done during the next 3-4 months around here. Have to finish my end-of-the-year medical stuff and my neck-lift in March. I love New Year's resolutions (or whatever you prefer to call that stuff). Soon I'll be yammering on that topic.

Today's remaining big task is grocery shopping. Yesterday morning before I left for the niece's Christmas brunch (which was outstanding!) a neighbor brought me a small Christmas gift of fruit -- only 2 apples and four tangerines -- but boy, was I appreciative. Other than that (and some protein drinks) there is absolutely no food in the house.

I hope you're all enjoying your presents, leisure and sweatpants.

And now I'm heading back to my Ear Pods for more hip-hop. I need to clean the refrigerator before going grocery shopping. :)

1. Within Range: 8 over
2. General Wellbeing: 7.5
3. 10,000+ Steps: 3471
4. Fitness: dogs to dog park
5. Self-Care: successfully focusing on stabilizing sugar
6. Fun: dogs to dog park

We had a quiet day yesterday, and I got the dogs to the big fenced in park at the lake, to run around and chase dog scents in 50 degree weather. Right before we left, once again, they found the ONLY mud, and both rolled in it. They were both coated in claylike sand. When we got home, I had to brush them, wash their leashes and collars as well as my outerwear. My high glycemic index day (way too many sweets and simpler carbs than usual) dropped my blood sugar to 43 late yesterday afternoon. I recognized what was happening and downed 4 oz. of apple juice immediately, followed by a fat/protein snack fifteen minutes later, and quickly stabilized.

DDs are headed home after Christmas with their dad and Sadie and Atlas are at the groomer. DC' has a PT session tomorrow AM. NYE plans will be low key. I am feeling a bit down and out of sorts so I'll try to get outside for a walk today.

Liz, hope the DDs do well visiting Paul. Good for you for making his peace and comfort a priority. Is his nurse that is so good a Hospice nurse ? I agree, everybody's homes, menus, and plans were inviting

While in the hospital, hospice can only "advise". Some doctors don't like that much and clearly most doctors need more training on palliative, end-of-life care. The RNs, NPs, and NAs here all get it and have been wonderful.

162.6

Christmas went so well despite all the last minute stress and worry and unhappiness due to those! I feel like I want to take the next couple of days to write down some thoughts on Christmas for next year. I don't know whether these "post mortem" lists are a good idea or just feeding my perfectionism and keeping me from happiness. Hmmmm. My only "complaint" about the holidays would be timing. I felt like if everything had been done just a tad earlier, maybe a week, I would've enjoyed the fruit of my efforts all the more. Two babies made it difficult to get everything done, and I really felt/missed that extra week between Thanksgiving and Christmas. But then there are theories that you fill up all the space you have so maybe it wouldn't matter. Probably the number 1 stressor to me was my mom not deciding on Christmas eve dinner until about 4pm on the Sunday before. I knew she had a lot going on herself and I would feel guilty not contributing and I kept asking. Maybe I just need to learn not to care so much. I am a control freak! Back on that in a minute.

So Christmas Eve Rich ended up smoking 2 whole beef tenderloins, I look a scratch green bean casserole and one of my grandmother's famous confections. It's always a bit stressful cooking that expensive of meat but it turned out fabulously and held over until we got home from church. We did the girls' presents early so they could lie down at my parents' house and then the adults exchanged gifts.

Christmas morning we did Santa Claus...Becca might change her mind about him since he brought her a kitchen! Then the big kids arrived and we had fruit, french toast casserole, and pulled off some ham. Then family gift exchange. Late lunch was more ham, a brined turkey, mashed potatoes, glazed carrots,a nd leftover green beans.

And then playing with our new toys.

I'm also feeling a sense of excitement about the New Year. Normally the day after Christmas saddens me, but I'm excited. I'm excited to declutter the house, I'm excited to start eating right and exercising. And our vacation and cruise that's upcoming in a week doesn't hurt!!

I've been thinking about words for 2020. Flexibility comes to mind. I definitely need to be more flexible. But at the same time, I feel like I HAVE to be extremely organized. If we want to do anything right now--from grocery runs to date nights--I have to plan it. If it means going out it means getting everyone ready and anticipating any need they may have. Date nights require securing a babysitter and hopefully making reservations so that we can make the most of those plans. No, I cannot be flexible. If anything, I need to be more organized. I think what I mean by flexible is that when plans do not work out...as so often is the case...I need to learn to roll with it, make the best of it. Because I have to think so far in advance and work hard to plan things, when my plans do fall through, I find myself disappointed, or worse, angry. So I don't know what word fits that, but I'm on a search for it. I think my word last year was "presence" and that's a portion of what I'm describing.

I also think the same thing holds true for weight loss and maintenance. I need to be organized and have good plans and intentions in order to be successful. HOwever, I also need to be able to change my food eating plans and be able to eat anywhere or to come back even after an overindulgent meal.

A goal I'm contemplating for 2020, which will see my 10 year surgiversary on May 26, is to finally meet my goal of "half my weight." That's 138.5 which might look too scrawny on me, and might be unattainable. But I'd really love to do it. I have always wanted to. Obviously there is quite a bit of work involved. I'm just trying to figure out if it's even possible or if I'm just setting myself up for disappointment. There are about 21 weeks until then, and I would need to lose about 23-24lbs. But if I don't count this interim week before the New Year of my time on vacation, we're closer to 19 or even 18 weeks. So that could mean 1.33lbs. per week. I like the idea of having such a focused goal.

I forgot to mention a funny thing from yesterday. When I was picking up a sweater for DD, SIL was admiring another one. I commented that I really liked it too. So I went back later and bought her the blue one. And she apparently also went back and bought me the blue one plus a coral one for our other SIL. So the three of us opened the same sweater one after the other!

Post Christmas good mornings all around! My dad, his wife, and my "brother dog" came to visit. We had a leisurely day filled with yummy food, Christmas cheer, a dog walk, presents, and a movie (in the family room). Very easy, no stress day all around. I have mastered the use of multiple alarms on my iPhone with everything labeled (when to turn the oven on and to what temp, when to put things in, take things out, make the salad, etc.). It makes holiday meals look effortless and means I don't stand around wondering what needs to happen next. I just wait for an alarm to sound to tell me.

Why when I can be so organized am I so disorganized so much of my life? Begs pondering in the new year....

Today I have my therapist, but that's it. I weighed myself this morning and was up 1.6 from my low the other day. So back on the wagon today. There was a push and pull about who was going to take the leftover apple crumb pie. I lost so it's still here, but it wasn't that great, so it goes in the garbage today. Too bad I don't have a farm with pigs to share it with! It's good to remember I don't have to be the pig (not meant in a pejorative way, but in true farm animal terms) who finishes everything just because it's here.

It's colder here today than in Michigan, how's that for weird weather! All of the passes out of southern CA are closed with snow and we got a good, cold soaking at sea level overnight. Brrr.

Wishing everyone a happy Boxing Day...

Happy Boxing Day, St. Stephen's Day, or simply Day After Christmas!

Today is our lounge day. The past two days have been exhausting, but in a wonderful way - filled with family, warm and lots of fun.

We went to BIL parent's home for Christmas lunch. I got to save the Christmas turkey, yet again. (It came out of the oven terribly undercooked. YUCK!!!) Ron's sister apologized several times and I laughed and said it wouldn't be a Jone's family dinner without getting to come to the rescue! LOL! Ron's sister said she didn't want the to happen this year. I did point out that whenever she hosts at her home, I NEVER have to come to the rescue. I just do appointed job of making gravy. She was appreciative of that.

We came home after to feed pups and let dogs out and then hit the road to go back to the family Christmas game night at Ron's sister's house. No rescue needed there! Christmas tamales and carne asada and accompanying side dishes were the fare there. We played a wonderful version of "Telephone" called Telestrations . Such fun!

Came home, tended pups and big dogs. Then watched the first two episodes of The Witcher on Netflix. It is slow to start, but I think I will like it. Sort of a Dark Ages witchy, wizards, magical world dying out, but still co-existing with humans kind of story... I think. As mentioned, a slow start, but it certainly has my attention. Bedtime was quite late.

So.... today is lounge day. We have NOTHING planned and that is fine by me!

Weight loss, healthy eating, uncovering the hard work I do at the gym each week has been very much on my mind the last two weeks. I have looked at WW, but there is very little available on what the program is without forking over money to see. There are two meeting locations nearby, too. For me, I think accountability is a huge factor. I don't want to get too deep in this topic today, so that is enough for now. As David says, More later!

Liz, my mom was very lucky when she was terminally ill to have an oncologist who marched himself over to my mom's hospital nursing station and read her nurses up one side and down the other about how there was nothing anyone could do for her cancer, but by God they had the ability to keep her out of pain and to hell with the attending physician, he was taking over her case (and had the rank to do so) and she was to be kept comfortable whatever that meant. So, her prescription changed to morphine on request. Glad Paul has RNs on his side. They are powerful creatures. As long as they are on your side, Paul will be well taken care of.

Love to all.

What a wonderful oncologist! I'll never meet him, but I love him from afar.