Sunday, December 22, 2019

DH is on hospice and was transferred to a regular hospital room late afternoon yesterday. It was the right decision for him. My gut never liked the idea of a psych stay as I felt it would be just additional torture for him and we would end up with the same result. He is still extremely agitated and looks terrible but I think we are on the correct path. It may take some time to get the meds right. The "hospitalist" insisted on starting with Haldol even though hospice thinks Depakote might be better. DH fought the Haldol for more than an hour before finally settling down. The 1:1 aide last night was with DH when he had Haldol in the ER and he commented that it didn't work much better that time either. The hospice nurse did warn me that sometimes there is some negotiation needed with the "hospitalist" but assured me that we would get to the right place ultimately.

Hopefully I will get more information on exactly how hospice will work with us and DH's facility today. We did walk through it when I signed the papers but I can't remember it all nor did I ask about some of the details at that point.

ETA: All the kids, siblings and close family are fully supportive of this decision. I thought DS might have a problem with it but like me he feels it is a much better path than a psych stay at this point.

Sorry I am Ms. Scrooge this season. I am hoping to put on a good face for the kids on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. I'm not sure DH will be back in his place by then but if not he should be shortly thereafter.

Have a simple Sunday!

Liz, you have NOTHING to apologize for. You've dealt with consecutive and concurrent major challenges magnificently ! Show your kids your true face, and be honest. You are modeling ultimate care and compassion and it is often not the gift we intend it to be, when we protect our kids from real adulting. What they learn from this experience will guide how they make equally hard decisions in the future, whether it be on your behalf or for one another. It is how you pick yourself up that counts, not the time you spent knocked off your feet.

DH makes a slow transition from the bedroom these days, and Atlas and Sadie have come to love our cuddle time on the chaise in the living room. They send their love, too !

Such sweet pups! I am sitting with Justice right now - he has missed our usual morning cuddle time the last few days.

Liz-I saw something on Facebook was up and wanted to come offer my love. I don't fully understand the ins and outs but I do grasp enough to understand this has to be incredibly stressful and heartbreaking on you. I hope it will all work out and you can be kind to yourself in the process. This isn't easy and I'm glad you have an outlet here.

Diane O.-wonderful puppy pics!

Weight: 163. (Usually been hovering around 162.4. Might go up for a few days now around the holidays)

Hi! I haven't been on here in a while. I didn't feel I had too much to contribute as to be honest weight loss or even maintenance has been on the back of my mind. I also haven't really had time to read everyone's posts. but I still thought I'd come to check in.

I'm doing surprisingly well at Christmas without grandmommy, which is almost in itself upsetting. I did order a memorial poinsettia for her and that really hit me. She loved the poinsettias her sister sent and last year I procured it for her. I guess in some ways she just feels so present, still.

My dad's birthday was this past week and we celebrated last night at my house. It's tough to entertain at my house but at least I can put the girls down for bed! Dad had a really good time so that was a win. It was a nice enough (still probably 50s or 40s!) evening that he and his friends were able to drink beer on the patio with the musical fireplace. Then I cooked ham loaf, au gratin potatoes, green beans, and caramel cake. And afterwards we watched Godzilla in the theater. Really good evening. Though I'll pay for it since I didn't get to bed until after 12 and Becca woke up just before 6!

There are still presents to be wrapped. A few more to be bought. Some food to be made. I'm trying to stay present and not freak out.

I did go to my continuing legal education the other day and it was SO. FUN.

Welll I guess that about does it for me lately. I'm going to try and read and stay up on the conversations.

You were missed !! Glad you're back !

Enjoy the holidays with your beautiful family. Your Grandmommy will be smiling down on all of you. Christmas with little ones is so wonderful!

Liz, no need to apologize. It is a scroogy situation.

do not know why we are upside down. The first one is Adalyn s 2nd birthday party. The second one is us in the chair. She was feeling so bad she got her screen time with shades on.

Too adorable !!

Have seen Liz's posts on FB and want to send her my love.

As you probably saw on FB, I found Antarctica overwhelmingly beautiful and impactful. I will never forget the experience.

Love and Merry Christmas to all. I'll catch up soon.

Ann