12/15/19, Sunday

1. Within Range: 6 over
2. General Wellbeing: 7.5
3. 10,000+ Steps: 8966
4. Fitness: walking
5. Self-Care: met with therapist Friday
6. Fun: taking Sadie on a winery adventure for a case of DH merlot

Verbalize and prioritize was the theme of Friday's therapy session. Putting feelings into words and then chunking out issues/tasks I have to deal with and those that can wait seems like a simple thing I don't need a therapist to assist with but we did sort through a lot. Over half of the window treatment hardware I had to remove was held in place with stripped screws. I am now the proud owner of a drill attachment that backs out stripped screws. Who knew ?! Almost all of the mini blinds were put in incorrectly and except for three in the master bedroom, I'm throwing them all out. I am also discarding and replacing any curtains and/or sheers that don't launder to my satisfaction. Life is just too short to accept less than. Hoping this theme will roll over to my goal of healthy eating. I am modifying WW purple plan to work for me online. I'll still track calories/macros because it works for me. If at any point I deviate from regular accountability to the number on the scale, I'll do the in person weigh ins.

Ceci and Peps... add me to the resource guarder club roster. This time of year's focus on giving and sharing always amplified food issues for me. My mother baked like Miss Bonnie, and made tray after tray for friends and neighbors. The heavier I got, the more she withheld, and the more I found ways to secret treats away by the trayful...not as noticeable as a few goodies from one symmetrical tray. Peps, your voice was missed !! NO reaction is ever stupid. It seems you did minimize your time stuck in self-deprecation and move on to illuminate, understand, and learn from your reaction. I have to work on this too ! I wish we lived closer, as play with ten puppies sounds soooo fabulous ! Ceci, good for you moving forward with foot PT ! DD, like the plan to not plan approach !! I also understand the need to have food available during an event. The fact that being hungry is a strength, not a cause for panic, eludes me sometimes too. Liz, I hope your dinner was fabulous and cathartic. Any update on then there might be an open bed ? Miss Bonnie... those baked goods triggered so many old memories for me. They are beautiful...memories not so much. Your baking seems to be focused on process, teamwork, and positive family memories which is the opposite of my childhood.

Off to finish up creating our fish bowl for tomorrow.

Good Sunday Morning, all.

I once pulled all of my FIL's curtains and sheers and sent them through the laundry- more than 80% disintegrated in the wash. Window dressings, like everything else come with a shelf life. Send those puppies through the crucible! Those that do not return do not belong as proper covering for your new windows, anyways.

My childhood home experience was so very dysfunctional; there are volumes of words. However, the one time of the year (most years, anyways) when the atmosphere was not toxic and shadowy corners of rooms were the safest place to be, was at Christmas. For that brief period of time, my folks got their **** together- the house glittered, and all was well with our world. Much of my doings is in celebration and in honoring the tremendous effort my mother took in carving a bit of sanity out of the usual chaos. My mother lives with me especially at these times and I get to share her gifts with DH and children every year in those cookies...that tree...the candles...it all.

My childhood home was also delightful some moments, and terrifying many moments. One of my favorite quotes from Prince of Tides: And I loved them in all their flawed, outrageous humanity. Trying to sift through the emotions that are left is a huge task. I do my best to approach them with compassion while acknowledging that I deserved better. My home life as an adult has been so different, and that is deliberate. Still sometimes, as a 58 year old grown up woman, I stand outside my own door and reflect how wonderful that instead of bracing myself for whatever is going on within, I am instead, happy to be home. Your home too, looks like a place where happiness lives.

Diane I love your decision to get new blinds, curtains, etc to go with your new windows. Bring in the new, the refreshed, and to your tastes. It will no doubt, be lovely. I'm also keen to hear how your journey with online WW goes. I've been thinking about using it too.

Yesterday I did some reading, laundry, had groceries delivered, (my favorite!) and baked 2 kinds of cookies. They are not nearly as artistic as Bonnie's, but tasty just the same. I am satisfied with the samples I had, felt in control. I don't take this for granted, because I know the carb monster is always lurking.

Today will be equally low key. I'll probably make a Costco run during the Vikings game, as the crowd is always smaller. One week of school, and then Christmas break begins!

Interesting and I guess not surprising that most of us had dysfunctional childhoods and apparently turned to food for comfort.

Last night was fun. Today I am tired and depressed. Very difficult to get myself over to DH's place to listen to him talking about the big guy who punched him. No evidence of a big guy or a punch.

At least being here keeps me away from food (and I have really minimized the choices at home as well).

Have a simple Sunday.

Wishing you some peace this Sunday.

Sending you a huge hug xxx

Good Morning All, Back after yet another crazy busy weekend. Drove to Farm Friday night and spent all day Saturday at Butchers bagging the Angus Meat. Ended up netting 550lbs ! We vacumn sealed it all. Took it back to the farm and into the new freezer then drove back to City - arriving after midnight. Yesterday we where up early to get things done. I made 4 batches of scones for one of my sons friends who was having a high tea for her 21st, DH had ute collected for a service then we headed over to Mums to do a huge yard cleanup. 5 hours later its looking nice and the deck has been pressure washed - all ready for my party this coming Saturday.

DSD and her partner came over for pizza last night. They helped us bag up the 88lbs of sausages - and of course we sent some home with them. It was a nice night. I got some Christmas decorations up as well so thats another thing off the mental list.

Feeling very tired today. Back to the Dr's tonight. I finish Antibotics this evening and expect she will give me another round.... Was hoping for an early night but the toilet in the bathroom has decided to leak so no doubt DH and I will be fixing that tonight. I have cleaned it up for the moment and will wait for him to come home. Timing !

Sorry I havent been very present - in a bit of a funk the past few weeks. I think of you all often.

Love to you all x

S

You've been missed too, Shirley!

88 pounds of sausage. I can't begin to picture what that process looks like!