Monday, December 9, 2019

Saturday was my 8 year surgiversary. I did my best to ignore the fact, but I believe that my surgiversary was a major depressive trigger for me. So, I have been in a rather major funk since yesterday afternoon sometime. Nice thing is that the depression isn't driving me to eat outside of my average dysfunctional eating habits. But I am feeling down, for sure, and cranky!

Oh well....

To illustrate my cranky azz, this morning around 5:00 am Ron woke me up to tell me to let Ella out because she was standing at the door to go out. I got up and let her out. Once back in bed I asked pointedly, "What is your reason for waking me up to let Ella out when you are already awake and aware that she wants to go out?" His reply was, "I don't know." My silent response to his answer was along the lines of this: "Oh, I know why. You don't want to get your lazy ass out of bed! That's why."

I am admittedly holding on to a "Why bother?"/"It's pointless" attitude today. Anyone else want to join my Pity Party? Can't describe it any other way, I think. LOL!

Liz, so sorry to read about DH's continued downward trend. I'm beginning to think that the facility where DH is living may not be as equipped to deal with a more advanced case of Alzheimer's as you had been led to believe. Sad. You are paying a pretty penny on a monthly basis for his care.

Diane O. hope you are doing okay and that the caregiver role is giving you less cause for being in survival mode.

Devon, I was told by a wonderful counselor one time that deliberately choosing to sit on the pity pot was perfectly alright- maybe even beneficial, BUT Only if a limited time frame is decided in advance and when that time arrives--get off..

It's not a self pity pot in the sense of a "Poor me! Look what hand I have been dealt!" pity pot. More along the lines of a "You loser. Who would want you?" type of pity pot.

As I've mentioned before a lot of my self worth seems to be wrapped up in how I outwardly appear rather than the qualities of my character that make me who I am. The surgiversary seemed to bring that home. Couple that with catching my reflection a few times yesterday, and well....

There ya go.

Greetings Dear Ones

Hmmm, sounds like some of us are in a holiday funk and for good reason. DianeO I hope you can get to the pool for a bit of TLC for self. Is there anyone that could stay with DH for a couple of hours? You need a break. Glad DH is doing his recovery things. I so hear you about doing stuff he did not get done. My DH had all summer to get rid of yard junk and its still there getting rained on. I really think they send people home to early after hip replacement. They sent my SIL home and hers immediately broke again and she ended up in nursing home for 2 months. A few days in a rehab center would be well worth it. Don't over do it! (said the queen of under doing everything),

Liz sorry you have troubles too. Not sure what your care facility expects you to do about DH other than letting you know about things. Lean on DS - he can do it. And I loved the boat parade. Beautiful. Here we have a truckers parade with semi trucks all lit up. I thought it sounded stupid but one year I accidentally ended up in the middle of it and it was great! Enjoy Justice at the dog beach.

DD sorry for your mom's health issue. I wish she would go to Mayo too but I guess its her life and condition. You are doing whats best which is be there.

Pity Party Peps? I'm in. Especially if there are refreshments. Ella update please. Yeah I hear you - my DH tells me to do something that he could so easily do himself. So it goes. But I am grateful to have him. Yesterday we took a friend to the big Christmas craft fair. She is 84 years old and showing significant mental decline. DH chatted and joked with her in such a lovely way. She told me what a nice man he was. He is indeed.

I have been wanting some good pot roast so I got what I think is a good quality one for the slow cooker. We shall see. The last one was tough and terrible but the dogs loved it.

There are peanut butter cups in the house. I have eaten a few but actually forgot about them. Until I saw a display at the store. They are crack.

Well take care all. Diane S

Right you are- sometimes it takes others to point out just why we fell so in love with our partners in the first place. We need those reminders!

Good Morning All - Popping in ......

Feeling just ICK Cough has really taken hold and while I have tried to push through it - I went to the Drs yesterday as its not going on its own. Have had a cough on and off for over 2 months. Queue a moderate response from Dr, Ran bloods to test for Whopping Cough and some Avian nasty. I dont think its either. I am on strong Antibotics for a Upper Respiritory Infection and Puffers for Asthma 3 x Times a day. I have to go back on Monday and if no better - out comes the dreaded Pres (Cortizone) UGGG. She thinks I caught this from our youngest Grandson who was hospitalised with severe broncilitis around a month ago - Could be as I went over to care for them all once they were released. Anyway crossing fingers that these drugs do their stuff and I can stop feeling like I have been reversed over by a truck - whinge over - I dont have time to be sick !

Busy weekend. Whats new. Picked up Freezer for DSS and delivered it Friday. We stayed the night then got up early with eldest Grandson to play before heading off to the farm. Collected Vaccinations for the cows from the Produce store. Then administered to the whole herd (minus Steer). Protection from Pink Eye. Left the Steer in the yards as he was booked to be taken to the butcher at 6pm. He loaded up the ramp really well and straight into the Stock Crate. That my friends is were everything good turned Bad ! Queue 1000lbs + of Ballistic Angus Steer. I had pushed the dividing gate towards DH so he could latch it and push him into the front half of the crate to distribute the weight better. Well he saw DH's hand and just rammed it against the side of the crate. DH is sporting a very badly swollen hand and had a dislocated little finger until he put it back in late Friday night - OUCH.Thankfully no broken bones. The steer then proceeded to try and get out of the 7ft Stock crate - bending the upper bars and fell backwards. It was very distressing and we made a decision to start driving him around so he could start calming down and not injure himself. 20 mins later after doing laps around the suburb we arrived at the Butchers and said Steer is now in the coolroom. Never seen a beast react like that and not sure I want to again. Took quite a while for the heart to return to normal. We ate dinner (crackers and cheese) around 10.30 that night once everything was done and fell into bed

Sunday was a potter day - cleaning up around the farm. The well we had sunk the previous weekend is filling well. So thats wonderful. My BIL dropped off a whole Lamb for the freezer - I have reserved one of the large legs for the Spit Roast for my 50th Party. Will ask the butcher to do a large piece of Angus too - and there will be Roast Pork as well. Dont think anyone will be hungry - as is the case with a country party :) Much to do in the coming weeks in preparation for the party but looking like we will have 50+ people. I feel super loved as its being held on 21st December and people have so many things on at this time of year.

Heading over to DSS to babysit eldest grandson tonight so that they can go to the movies. Will be lovely to see them be able to get out for a date night. They will take youngest Grandson as hes still breastfed and they are just getting him used to taking a bottle.

Diane O - Much love to you. I am so sorry you are having such a challenging time with everything. Its hard to be a carer let alone all the extra added on top - and then you have window replacements to contend with. I hope you can get some time for you to do absolutely nothing x

Liz - I am glad you are enjoying your last week in Florida. You so deserve it. Your load is also heavy with caregiving and supporting. Be kind to yourself. I loved the boat parade pictures x

Peps - I hope that tommorrow brings a better day for you. You also have been flat out caregiving to Ella and all the pups. The worry of her not eating properly and all the up and downs - wears you out. Take time out to just reflect and be still x And Im sending mental messages to Ron - next time please let Ella out rather than wake you

DD - I am so sorry to read about your mum. Glad you took a sick day. You are a wonderful daughter preparing meals for them whilst she is having treatment. I know they will be very appreciated x

Cec - Look at you go with the clean up :) Want to come over to our places and do the same he he he. Hope your lights arrive today and you can do your tree. I have to try and do ours next week. Please post pictures

Diane S - You and DH have kind and generous hearts - well done on taking your elderly friend out. I hope the Pot Roast is lovely

Leap - Did Adalyn end up sick? I hope not. Its so awful when they are. How is your knee going? I had Xrays yesterday and see the Surgeon tommorrow after work. I think it will be the decision discussion but Im not prepared to consider it until I know the staph infection I got is cleared as I think thats just plain asking for trouble

Miss150, BB, Paula, Ann & Anyone else I have missed. Hello and hope your days are filled with lots of smiles

I had best go and get back to work. Have stewed some Apricots up this morning. Will pop into the freezer and take around to my mum early next week when Im back from the farm as she loves them.

Love to you all

S

X

My golly, you have a lot of excitement going down for feeling so punky and all.

I read a thing a long time ago about an autistic woman, Temple Grahan (sp?), who designed a way to at stockyards that calmed the cattle as they winded their way clockwise, I think, along to the slaughter place. She maintained that the cattle knew on some level what was about to go down- the goal, in addition to be more humane, helped reduce the chemicals that were released into the muscles tainting the meat. Her insight revolutionized the design of those places. Your episode with ballistic steer must have been incredibly unnerving- sounds like driving around helped calm things down.

Take care- feel better soon- hope you do not need the cortisone.

Thank you x Im a tough OLD thing - no doubt the antibotics will do their thing soon

Yes I have seen the movie about it - Temple has Asperhgers like my eldest son and is a facinating person with deep insight. Cows like to walk in curves.

At our previous farm, we were able to get Mobile Butchers in which I was much happier with. They never knew what happened and everything was calm. They are not around at our new farm..... Im hoping that the meat isnt too tainted as he was stressed and that truely upsets me as we are super fussy with the care of our animals. Always try and respect the fact that they are providing food for our table and provide 100% care.

OMG, you are an energizer bunny! I have two friends *****fer to their extremely active wives as Duracell's (while they sit and chat on the porch). I suspect your body might be tired, so that's why you got so sick. Rest and recover!

My knee is improving every week. I do not know of a doctor that would do any type of surgery with strep or staff unless it was to save your life. Wait until you have cleared all the way for sure.