Tuesday, November 5, 2019

In a word QUIET he he he -Just do what needs to be done :) Family is everything to me x

Agree with everyone else that you are amazing. But also wonder if you too don't need an extended rest to give yourself time to defeat your infection.

In service today: The first session was a Native Person from a tribe in Northern Minnesota. He teaches Psychology at University of Minnesota, Bemidji, his focus, educational psychology and culturally responsive classrooms. Fascinating research on the sheer power of representation on positive outcomes for students. Things we can easily change, art, books, films, harder, but very necessary, teachers that look like the students they're teaching. We're doing better than we were in many aspects, but we can do better still.

We love in the lands of the Wampanoag Indians here on Cape Cod and we have many friends either fully or partially Indian. One friend comes from a string of chiefs. When the local library was built, it included plans for a sizable area devoted to information, history, and exhibits about our local tribe. They cut it back to one tiny room when the build was actually done because they said they had underestimated the room they needed for other things. Typical yet appalling.

Additional in service: We had to watch a Ted talk about a leadership theory the golden circle and then do various group activities with this info. And they involved candy. You had to take two pieces from the bowl in the middle of the table, then answer questions based on your candy. Example if you had a KitKat you shared your greatest accomplishment. Perhaps mine was putting that damn candy back in the bowl without eating it. Why must I suffer so?

I lack the OCD qualities of an accountant. Sometimes I do wish I possessed them. My OCD nature is all about the visual - mainly dog hair and wall charts for my students! Today I was color coding number lines while the children watched so they could visualize IN COLOR the rules of rounding to the nearest 10. So, my checkbook looks like hell, but I can do wall charts and sculpt terrier hair like nobody's business!

Today was a good sugar day. Not perfect, but waaaaaay better than I have had during the past two weeks.

I met with my psychologist yesterday, too. I meet with mine usually 2 times per month. Like Ann, for me this work is never done. I feel much better about it than I did a year or two ago, so I know it's helping. My therapist gets me on a level that no-one else really does, too. Perhaps it's because I have learned to be 100% honest in that room.

Tell you what I hate.....I am looking at my sugar intake as an addiction. What sucks about that? Well.... my success with addiction has been abstention. F*CK! And that is the rub, the inner turmoil, the ostrich with head buried in the sand, the procrastination, the rationalization... It's that awareness that is currently holding me back.

Accountability... yep! It's a good thing for me, too. The shrink wants me to see a nutritionist for accountability because I work well with having outside accountability. My trainer has offered to be my food accountability partner, too, so maybe I will take her up on it again. We backslid a bit over the summer and beginning of the school year.

Well, it's 9-ish and my brain is tired.