Tuesday, November 5, 2019

142.2 morning weigh-in (same as yesterday).

Slept at least 6 hours again last night, maybe more, during the right time slot. So I guess my body is back in town.

Therapy yesterday was just what the doctor ordered. As i told him, "You're my biggest self-care / health guard rail." And he is. That kind of touchstone / accountability connection makes a TON of difference for me. Maybe even literally.

It feels good to be getting back in gear, albeit gradually. Yesterday after therapy session I saw my niece for lunch, then resolved some computer/iPad issues (operator errors) at Best Buy's Geek Squad (great service again). On the way home I stopped by my CPA's office to resign/resubmit my 2017 tax return (the IRS thinks they didn't receive it, although my CPA has a certified letter return receipt from the IRS saying they did ... bless their hearts). But more seriously, bless my CPA's heart (the good way) for being having such fully blossomed OCD qualities, which good accountants need.

Today after yoga class is grocery shopping, picking up packages delivered while I was gone, final unpacking, and housecleaning.

Today's theme is a beautiful song by a beautiful man, Johnny Nash: "I Can See Clearly Now"

I'm glad your therapy helps. I've always felt more comfortable in group support sessions. Could be that the therapist I used wasn't ideal? I saw her for six months about three years after DD died and I was struggling. It was at the point where you start to lose the numbness and feeling comes back. She kept telling me I was doing the right things. So I figured there was no point in going anymore.

DS wasn't home until 8 pm last night. He was the last surgery and lasted until 5:30 pm, so he was the only one left in recovery. But he has actually been quite pleasant and the nurses got a kick out of him. The first time he had anesthesia he was 6 and had a general anesthesia for an umbilical hernia. The other two were more the twilight type (wisdom teeth and colonoscopy). So maybe as an adult it is the lighter anesthesia that he doesn't do well with perhaps because he hears/remembers too much. The nurses told him to think of pleasant things as he was falling asleep. So he said he thought about his favorite restaurant in Paris last year and his kitty.

Today I am somewhat at his beck and call though I do need to get Justice's nails clipped and go see DH.

My eating has been fairly good, but I'm still afraid to weigh. I need to get even more motivated to get enough off to be comfortably back in my clothes.

Have a thoughtful Tuesday!

I'm glad DS is responding and recovering post-surgically better this time and in the past. So much nicer for you both.

150.8

Sunny and mild today. Would be perfect walking weather. DH asked and my response was probably not because I am currently pouting over anticipated upcoming dental work. This is my dysfunctional self self talking-on the pity pot and don't want to come off it- investing energy in the negative. There is another voice weakly heard suggesting a movement off and out --movement vs staying. What is so precious about how I am feeling that I stubbornly stay when I could easily walk (literally) out the door.....The discussion continues- maybe I will-or won't-or will...

How wonderful, Ann, that you like your therapist so well. Many years ago I saw a therapist for ACOA issues- about a year- though I've considered doing so again, I haven't because it seems to me I would never find as fine a fit as I did with Gia. Also, I have this belief that therapy should be a "one and done" kind of fix, and I shouldn't need to go through it again. I know this is not true. What keeps me from seeking self care...

Diane, am thinking of you in hopes of continued recovery- if you are still researching-check out the role of the liver and glycogen as it impacts blood sugar levels and reactive hypoglycemia.

Healing prayers also for knees, staff infections and hopes of a joyful day for all.

Bonnie, I take such comfort from the access I have to my therapist (even though I see him only monthly) that I wish everyone had access to this kind of resource.

I can see that a "one and done" relationship with a therapist could be appropriate for some issues. But given that my life and my self-care never seems to be "fixed" but must be constantly worked on, for now at least I need a more or less permanent relationship with a therapist. A bit like Devon's trainer. Or Justice. Especially now that I don't have a smart life partner to bounce things off of. For example, my therapist knows SO much more about me, my patterns and inclinations, where I've come from and where I want to go, etc. than anybody I'm related to or even any of my closest friends.

Yesterday I even said to him, "If you ever have to stop treating me for any reason, e.g., changes in career, insurance, relocation, etc., you MUST refer me to someone else who would be a great fit!" He laughed and promised to do so.

First, a shout out to H.A.L.A.B. , who came up on a OH search of non-diabetic reactive hypoglycemia as a resident expert. I reached out to her and she was extremely supportive and responsive. She visits this board, and her voice would certainly be welcome.

My four pounds are gone and I'm back in my range. I am finding balance, eating less at shorter intervals. I usually have eggs for breakfast, but did Greek yogurt with a handful of berries and some healthy granola occasionally. Today, that jumped my glucose up from 97 to 160 in an hour. Good information.

I did strength training today. I'll be less egocentric tomorrow, as I adjust.

So when your glucose went up to 160, is that a normal or excessive response to the carbs at breakfast? How was your blood sugar later? Did it return to a normal level, or did it start dipping toward hypoglycemia again? Glad you found an expert on reactive hypoglycemia, so many factors involved!

For me, based on 5 days of data, my level rises 10-15 points after eggs, turkey bacon and .5 Ezekiel 4:9 English muffin. When I saw the jump, I ate .5 Quest bar and experienced no reactive dip.

Good Morning All, Up early as I started work at 6am. We have my SIL's memorial at the hospital this afternoon at 2pm followed by an afternoon tea. DH will head back to the city house after dinner tonight. Mum and I will go home Friday after I finish work.

Many of us are sick with various bugs and lurgies. Not surprising I guess - emotional stress takes its toll. I have been taking meals over to my other SIL as shes been bedridden with a bad virus - her DH came up from the city last night so he can take over for a bit. My nephew has a nasty cold as does my mum. DH and I have battled it and seem to have won - though I just feel yuk with this Staph infection. I finish the second course of antibotics today and will see what happens. Im not back at our city house till Friday night late - so if needed will go see the doctor again.

I took a tiny bit of self care time yesterday and went into one of the Regional cities. I needed to get some eye drops as I had a mucky eye and our local pharmacy was closed due to Public Holiday. I did some browsing in a few of my favourite stores whilst there and came home with some new clothes, plus a baby gift and some house items. It was so nice to just wander around for a while and not have to think of anyone or anything. Small blessings.

Spent the afternoon cooking. Made 16 pies for the freezer and a huge Chicken, Leek & Veg Pie for dinner. Asked our BIL, Nephew and Niece over for dinner. Served it with a large green salad and sweet potato wedges then a Mango and Sour Cream Cake with custard and ice cream for dessert. It was well received - my DH had 3 helpings !!. Im trying to make extra meals for my mum whilst up here so that when she goes back to City she is eating well. I have been cooking almost non stop of late. DH had an old friend come Monday afternoon with his wife - I made scones. Had made silverside in the slow cooker so asked if they would like to stay for dinner. So I made up a nice meal - then ran a serve over to my sick SIL too. Im looking forward to a quieter night tonight. Feeling a little tired.

Diane O - Glad you are managing all the changes. Must have been a huge shock for you but Im thankful you are ok x

Ann - So good to have you back. Your voice is truely welcome

Miss 150 - sorry to hear about the infection - take good care of yourself x

Diane S - Well done on throwing that last half of the halloween candy in the bin. I still struggle with things like that

Peps - I cringed reading your post about your experiences whilst "under" - oh my ! How traumatic

Cec - Loving seeing your posts of NZ. Looks like you are having a wonderful time

Leap - How is your knee going? Loved seeing you and Adalyn hanging out in the shop the other day :) Just beautiful

DD - Hello and hope you are well

Paula - Nice to see you. Pop back in again soon

Liz - Glad DS surgery went well and hope you are only on light nurse duties today. Take some time for yourself too

Well I best keep on moving - I need to shower and get things ready for this afternoon whilst Im working. Just feel flat today and know it will be worse after we have completed the memorial service. DH and I went and visited her grave Sunday. Even though you know categorically thats its real - I still struggle to accept that shes gone. Loss and grief are so complex - I liken it to an onion. You deal with a layer at a time... And it sure does make your eyes water and sting as you do...

Love to you all

S

Oh, boy ... death and loss and stress and numbness and exhaustion and illness ... it's all part of the package. I am so sorry this package has come to you and your family.

And again, I do NOT understand how you do everything you do, Shirl. I couldn't even begin to get done half of what you accomplish. You must be part of a different strain of human beings. Makes me wonder what your life would be like if you weren't taking care of 50 other people on any given day. xoxoxo