Tuesday, September 10, 2019

DH is off to daycare and I'm not sure what to do with myself today. A long walk with Justice is definitely on the agenda, but maybe I should pack a lunch and read on the beach (though wearing a bathing suit may not be wise). After October 1st I can take the dog with me on the beach too, but it is not allowed from May 1-September 30. Unless I go to Quissett Harbor (aka the Knob). Hmmm...

The counselor I spoke with yesterday suggested starting to make a plan for what I'm going to do with my time and schedule at least a few things in October to look forward to, especially things I can't do now. I actually could start adding yoga back on Fridays, then Monday and Wednesday starting in October. I did plan an evening to see old friends in my former hometown in mid-October, but I should think of more. I probably should schedule my fall Florida trip.

Have a thoughtful Tuesday!

Good Morning All

Time to say goodbye to Long Beach. We are at the airport waiting on our flight to Oaklands. Cant wait to see my friend again- its been 2 years since we hung out together in Sydney

Will post again later

Liz- enjoy your day - whatever you decide

S

Goodness! You are going to be within shouting distance later today! Where are you staying? In Oakland?

Sure will Peps x Will wave as we land ?

Staying in San Pablo tonight then off Tahoe for 4-5 days then back to San Pablo

Cant wait to see you on 22nd x Will have ditched my cold by then

OMG! Since you are in San Pablo, if you get a chance you must try this local haunt in Crockett, just up Interstate 80:

https://www.thedeadfish.com/

Hey Peps

Arrived in Oaklands and our friend collected us Guess which place we are going for dinner? The one you recommended :)

She had it organised already !Cant wait to try it

Weight back down to 263. Bouncy, bouncy...

Second tooth really started to act up yesterday afternoon. It's calmed down this morning, but I was able to schedule an appointment after school today. I'm guessing root canal #2 will be this afternoon.

Shrink session was really very good yesterday. She was over the moon about my decision to drastically reduce my grooming client base. Honestly, so am I. We also discussed that odd dream I had a couple of weeks ago. My shrink and Bonnie150 must have gone to the same school of dream interpretation. They had very similar takes on the dream. I now have to go back and reread Bonnie's interpretation.

I also addressed some of my project based obsessive, addictive behaviors. It dawned on me yesterday how much WLS was a project based obsession. The timeline, when examined, shows that procuring WLS became a replacement for smoking. I did everything I could to get my WLS ASAP. My initial consultation was at the end of August or first week of September. I made tracks and did EVERYTHING I needed by November 1 to get on the December schedule. I really did approach WLS as the end-all-be-all answer for my weight issues. I did the work to get the surgery. I did the work to lose the weight. I did not do the work to understand my disordered eating. That is the work I am doing now - 8 years later.

There were several choices on how to react to this realization. I am choosing to react with joy. Isn't it wonderful that I have gotten to this level of self awareness? This is where the work I have been doing has led me - to another door needing to be opened and the space beyond explored.

Liz, I had not thought about how you would spend your newly available time. That is somewhat daunting, isn't it? I'm glad the counselor mentioned it to you. I don't think it would have even occurred to me. There is wisdom in that advice.

Strangely (but maybe not), most people who we know feel that DH will do well but that my transition may be more difficult. I will need to calm the guilt person on my shoulder first. Then I have to figure out a new life retired from my post-retirement job as a caretaker and as a somewhat unexpectedly single person. Previously I had envisioned retirement shared with DH and though I knew quite a while ago that wasn't going to happen now I have to get on with a new plan.

Greetings Treasured People

Well I am back! So much great wisdom and insight during my absence I can hardly absorb it all! What brilliance. Ann you need to make it into a book.

So much to report on trip. Got my brother laid to rest in a lovely and peaceful service and burial with military element since he was in the navy for awhile. Most excellent and uplifting. Then dinner at old pizza hangout with my law school buddies and we laughed non stop. I must stay in better touch with them. So much joy in recalling all the stupid stuff we used to do.

Then I went to dog agility class with my niece the veterinarian who is training a french bulldog. He is so cute and really good. We had fun and also discussed my younger brother's serious illness which she understands.

Class reunion event which was also fun. Lots of pictures and our little high school "clique" had a table. Fun to see this old country club where we went when I was a kid.

Also got to tour the house I grew up in which was unoccupied for 10 years while my mother was dying and sold after her death and 18 truck loads of junk hauled away. The new family fixed it up beautifully - classic mid century - and it is fabulous. There is a place in the basement where I wrote my name on the wall when I was five years old. They kept that and had their little girl write her name below it. I wanted to cry. The girl said she knew which room was mine because someone drew a picture of a dog inside the closet door. Me.

We stayed at a decent hotel. One thing I did was go in the pool. Have not done that in years. Bathing suit fit. It was a total joy to move around without pain!!!! Exilarating. I am going to check out the health clubs in our town for a similar pool experience. A new one is being built soon. Gonna take some planning to do the wet bathing suit thing. Gee maybe I could have more than one!

Well this is all about me and I will remark on others later but I can only type so much at a time. I did eat lots of unhealthy food, including the incredible cheese frenchie, but managed to come home at the same weight. Just tells you what a little extra activity will do.

Had the worlds worst airline experience coming back. So bad it's funny. Included a mega pat down by the TSA that got to very private areas. I think my loose skin on thighs and everywhere else shows up as looking like explosive bermuda shorts. I told the TSA that I had lost a lot of weight and had loose skin. I think OH needs to take a position on this. Former fatties get searched. Blech.

Old people day at the health food store. Time to look for such. Love you all. Diane S

More again:

Butternut squash recipe. Peal and cut up some squash (most any kind). Steam it until tender in 4 cups chicken broth. Add salt and pepper to taste. Parsley if available. Add a big blob of GY or fat free sour cream. Puree. Serve hot or cold. Its great thing to keep around for a quick cup. I originally got this recipe with summer squash but its good with butternut.

Diane S