Thursday, 8/29/2018

Sneaking and eating in private is a big pattern/thrill/nose-thumbing at my parents from childhood on for me too!

Oh, gee -- are we really going to talk now about obtaining, possessing and consuming food in isolation?!

I was promised we wouldn't have to go there.

Damn.

Who, me?

Congrats on the detox.

Funny how we all have different trigger foods. I can keep PB and crackers in the house. I eat PB a few times per week at breakfast, but that's it. Cookies, brownies, cake, pie all equate to binge food for me.

Yeah, I can't remember the last time I binged on meat and vegetables. Oh yeah, NEVER!

Have I told you lately how much I love all of you ? This tribe is so rich in ***** and spirit ! Okay, we have one Bonnie back, Mama Bonnie, we need your voice too !

David, hope the pain is manageable as you navigate about with your new knee.

Peps, I absolutely agree with Ceci about the tone of your recent posts. In addition to being a beast in the gym, you are doing the hard work with your therapist too. Another level of awareness.. sweet !

Bonnie, your FB paintings are glorious ! Such light and depth ! Was your little girl artistic also? Kudos for your carb detox. I agree, healthy protein is hard work.

Shirl, your pre-vacay self care sounds wonderful ! Good for you ! When you get back, we'll have to trade wisdom about supporting a PTSD spouse without enabling or losing yourself.

DD, Open House before the start of school?Peps mentioned that too! Is that a contractual thing?

Diane, so sorry to hear your younger brother is facing health issues. Please be proactive about your health.

Ann, I so admire you ! Your lists have lifted you (along with some strategic mowing) ! The changes you are making are exciting!

Liz, there is nothing better than a new washer and dryer to lift your spirits. Wise of you to realize that retired life will be totally different in October and beyond. Have you thought about what kind of support you want to have in place for YOU ?

Ceci, following lense implantation after my cataract surgeries, I ended up with one contact lense in my right eye, three years out. Hopefully a good specialist can give you options that will meet your needs.

Good morning friends!

Ann, sounds like you are finding a lot of joy in your reconnection of self. That's wonderful! It is inspiring to me.

Liz, one day at a time. My guess is that's all you can really manage at this point and that is more than understandable. You are most certainly in mourning - both the noun and the verb. It must be a very discombobulating thing to mourn the loss of a living person. Take comfort in the fact that so many people have your back.

Cecily and Bonnie Miss 150, glad to see you post this morning. I have been missing your regular posts.

I am looking forward to meeting Shirl, live and in person in the good old USA! We have a tentative date set on 9/22. I'm so looking forward to our breaking bread together!

My weight is still hanging out at 264. This is neither good nor bad. It just is. However, I am quite pleased with my eating the past weeks. That means more to me than the weight right now. The weight will follow as the changes are made.

So two things to mention today about my old psyche. First, last night I was thinking I must fore warn Shirl about my size. It's like my preemptive, offensive line of attack. I still feel a deep rooted, if not quiet, shame or embarrassment about being obese after weight loss surgery. 2nd was this morning I had to change my shirt because I felt, and therefore looked, too fat for Back to School Night this evening in said shirt. I kind of hoped I was beyond that, but I am not. Oh well... Forward, forward, back, back, forward.... As long as there is progress.

Read a good article this morning on Healthline Nutrition regarding intermittent fasting and early in the day eating. The article refers to a small study. I love the conclusions drawn by the study - especially that intermittent fasting really is not for everyone.

Exercise has been spot on for several weeks and that is very mood lifting for me. I am a very good example of being "Fat and Fit". It truly is a possibility - except that I do still need to be on a mild dose of BP and cholesterol meds. If I dropped some of the extra weight, I could get off those medications, though at this point it may be safer to stay on the statin indefinitely given what happened to my dad when his internist took him off his statin. But, I digress... Yesterday my trainer had to cancel. I kept "my appointment" with myself and choreographed my own workout. I chose to do legs because I am not a big fan of leg workouts and I need to discipline myself to at least to one leg workout per week in addition to the cardio I do. Squats, Bulgarian split squats with dumb bells, standing calf raises, Romanian Dead lifts, quad extensions, and the booty builder all got done. My legs had moments of jello-ness during the workout and I can definitely feel the work in my legs today!

Tonight is Back to School Night. I have to have a filling done on an exposed part of one of the bicuspid roots this afternoon. Hope to heck the novocaine is worn off by 6:00 pm! Tomorrow is a short day at school and then the long weekend! YAY!!!!!

Later Gators!

Peps Im so looking forward to meeting you face to face on the 22nd It will be wonderful to spend some time with you both x Im thankful to be given the opportunity

Your thoughts really resonated with me as I too had similar ones as we organise to meet. Old habits die hard huh.Then I thought it over as I have many many times throughout this journey. My body which I respect more as I venture further into understanding who I am is the shell that transports/carries the presence that is me. I think I am finally getting comfortable with that presence and who she is. Ever evolving journey

Your leg work out...squat this and squat that--You totally rock!!! But oh, my knees- I cant do squat ****!

You crack me up!

Good Morning All - flying past as I have my second cup of tea. Washing is on, most of this weekends packing is done and I think I am ready to race out the door to meetings, lunch then the airport for DH Graduation weekend.

Weight after a cup of tea this am - 176.44 - wooohooo - would love to be in the 174's before I come over but will have to see. For now I will take the couple of pounds gratefully

Changed the hotel near the airport for Tuesday night yesterday. I thought it through and decided it was just creating more work and rush. I had planned to get the train into the city after work Tuesday and meet DH, then we catch the airport bus to airport - then we would have had to take an UBER to our hotel. There is no restaurant there. And then book an UBER for 3am pick up the following morning. I would have spent some of the night worrying they wouldnt show etc. So I pulled the pin and have booked a private driver to collect us from home at 2am instead. DH has used their services with his previous company so I know they are reliable. I will sleep better in our own bed before I fly too - as I dont sleep on planes. Wish I could....

Ann - so pleased to hear you are feeling more grounded x And eating at the table with the good china - go you :)

Liz - wrapping you in a big aussie hug x Hope it brings you a little comfort as you navigate this next stage. Be kind to yourself and let everyone around you bolster you over the coming month.

Cec - Im sad I wont get to meet you but distance is a hard thing. There will be other times Im sure. Maybe even when you come to Sydney x

Bonnie - you are doing so well with the detox x

Ocean - Love you too and yes we have a special tribe indeed. Re the PTSD we could get together and likely write a book I imagine. Lesson one how to automatically condition yourself to read body language so you know if its going to be a good night or a tense one .........

Peps -I have responded to your post individually x

Well I best keep moving. Cleaner arrives in a couple of hours and I need to finalise the rest of this packing then start work

Have a wonderful evening all

S