Sunday, August 25, 2019

Weight: 142
Protein: 79
Carbs: 62
Veggies/Fruits: 7
Water: 36 ounces
Sleep: 7 hours
Exercise: Not much (housecleaning, grocery shopping)

I am really liking my current re-emphasis on veggies and fruits. I'm also trying to eat veggies I haven't eaten in a while, if ever. For example, tonight (for the first time in my life) I'm going to roast Brussels sprouts (very simple recipe). Five years post-op, I'm finally grasping the concept that I should make the effort to cook, even if I am cooking for only myself. So there's yet another form of self-care I have ignored. Duh!

I'm also working to get back in touch with the energy and determination I had that fueled my early enthusiasm (pre- and post-op) for weight loss, maintenance and fitness. It's a bit like falling in love again ... with myself. :)

Also, yesterday I found this interesting article re how French women really eat ... https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-25593/7-french-women-share-w hat-they-eat-in-a-day.html. Spoiler: They eat a lot less than I imagine "skinny people" get to eat.

And here's today's grand finale: I just read a Psychology Today article about the connections between inflammation and depression. Although the article focuses on patients with severe, diagnosed inflammatory and autoimmune diseases, this piece reminds me of how sluggish and, yes, depressed I can become during periods when I am eating tons of crap food, i.e., sugar, highly processed carbs, fried foods, fast foods, etc. This is also when my arthritic knees ache the most. And then the cycle perpetuates itself ... I ache, feel depressed, have low energy so I reach for my "comfort foods," which are (cough!) the very foods that made me ache, feel depressed and have low energy.

Gee, you'd think I'd have learned better by now.

Today's theme: Falling in Love Again :)

Wow! Both articles are eye-openers. Notable for me (in addition to your comment on the quantity) was that French woman generally eat larger lunches than dinners, they seem to eat dinner late (and not snack afterwards), when they do snack it is usually fruit or a small quantity of something else, and they only imbibe wine periodically. Definitely food for thought! SIL (always thin) prefers to eat dinner late as well (around 8).

I am eating more carbs than I should while feeling depressed. Not only have I gained weight but the arthritis in my hands and shoulders has been bothering me a lot where it wasn't when I was thinner. Hmmm...

Today it is going to feel like Fall around here. We have the annual neighborhood association cookout and then are meeting the visiting family from Portland for dinner. DH indicated last night that he is not sure that the brother from Portland is really his brother and that he has many, many more siblings. I don't know where that is coming from - his mother did have 10 siblings and DH has lots of cousins as a result, but he only really has 4 siblings. Larger than some families but DH seemed to think there are more.

Have a sunny Sunday!

Liz, in the Psych Today article, did you also notice the following bit about connections between stress and inflammation/depression?

"Major life events like bereavement, divorce, and loss of employment, as well as burdensome adult social roles, like caring for a dependent loved one, increase the risk of depression weeks, months, or years later. "

Gee ... any chance you know of anyone currently dealing with those specific sources of stress?

Yup, I thought you did. ;)

Yes - more than one of us ;)

Good morning, and a special nod to Ceci ! I'm in Detroit, waiting for the final leg of my adventure. I had to clear Customs here, after the red eye out of Vancouver. We landed early and had to sit on the plane until Customs opened. I have my coffee and I'm ready to be home. Ann, I'm eager to read those articles you referenced.

Good morning! Interesting articles Ann. I have actually thought about photographing everything I eat as a way of tracking. And yes, it doesn't seem like these women are eating much. I couldn't begin to approach those levels of calorie intake without a sleeve.

Sunny morning, fall like temperatures. I've had one chai latte, a second one coming soon. I think I have enough time to read the Sunday paper leisurely before going to the celebration of life for my sil. Time to read, always one of the things I am hungry for.

Those French breakfasts would leave me starving by lunch! I need a bit of protein to hold me over. Many of their days look very carb intensive. Maybe I've just been brainwashed by the low carb talking heads.

Yesterday I continued to do well with eating. I was pretty sedentary though except for a dog washing session, which with Fergus is a workout. Today he gets brushed. Grooming is a two day event as he was still wet 8 hours after his bath! So much fur.

It's going to be a beautiful day, so some outdoor activity is warranted.

Ditto re needing breakfast protein! It sticks to my ribs. :)

Greetings Sunday Serene Ones

159.5 today. Teetering on the ledge but still on the side I desire.

Interesting articles Ann. Noting in that the French women's food all the items took some prep and thought. I could eat like that if someone would shop and fix. Looked like no take out food in the lot. I do think the French way means no snacking and modest portions. American restaurant portions have truly gotten out of control. I know "normal" people who take half of a meal home.

And yeah, stress can make you truly sick. I think I have posted before about how I developed an autoimmune condition where I was making antibodies against my own blood platelets. A short course of Prednisone fixed it short term but it came back. Seems to be fine now that the stress source is gone (Crazy Pat and my mom's situation).

We need to learn more science about stress and overeating. Used to be that troubled people were unable to eat. Now most of us stress eat. Where did that come from? Maybe due to the advent of "addictive" foods like potato chips and peanut butter cups. Shout out to the book "End of Overeating" which trashes the food industry for intentionally making addictive food. I think of the Rue Clare in Paris that was lined with little shops of bakery, cheese shop, green grocer, pastry shop etc. There was no giant aisle of chips and crackers and such.

I think I will take old dog Chip to the beach today. Its overcast but it would be nice to get him out. Must kid lock the electric windows so he doesn't stand on them and open them.

Keep eating those cukes, those of you that have them. Ditto tomatoes. Diane S

Great articles, Ann. I did not completely read the depression/inflammation article, but scanned it, and I think got the important parts on the first read, but will go back and read it thoroughly.

BTW - Shel photo journaled her food for a while. She talked to me about it once. It helped her at the time and she suggested I try it. I did for a few days, but lacked the commitment to keep it up.

Okay, now the rest is a read if you dare type of post... It is the unbridled conscious stream of my thinking sparked by the meals of the French women.

As for the French ladies... there has been much written and studied about their way of eating. What I believe it boils down to is that Europeans generally do not snack. They are trained from a very early age that hunger is okay, is not an emergency, and basically, good things come to those who wait. Additionally, many Euros still frown upon convenience/packaged foods that are staples in the American eating culture. (Food is big Agra business in the US. Food companies' bottom line is about profit, not nutrition!) Sadly, though, I believe I read that younger Europeans are gravitating with certainty to the convenience of the American food model.

I also have never been a firm believer in eating dinner early. I think, especially for those of us with eating/food/weight issues, that eating too early is a game in self sabotage. I think most of us should be eating dinner later than we do, but that is my personal opinion. I have no trouble whatsoever eating my dinner between 8 and 9. I am home from school usually between 4 and 4:30, sit down for a bit, then change and either groom a client dog or I'm off to the gym. Most gym days I'm not done with my work out until about 6:45 or 7:00. I come home, change, make dinner and it's easily 8 or 8:30.

But let's look at reality of the American way of life for the average white collar working adult. Most adults work 9 hour work days. 8 hours paid with a one hour unpaid lunch break. So that's an 8-5 or a 9-6 work day. Add on to that commute time. For me that's at least 30 minutes in the morning and 20 minutes in the afternoon. So let's say the average person has a 30-45 minute commute to and from. That now makes the work day at least 10 hours. When you begin to add in daily responsibilities, like cooking, cleaning, shopping, taking care of children, exercise, etc... most professional working people have incredibly challenging lives in this country. If you are a tradesman or a blue collar worker, you most likely have an even more demanding schedule. Many of my friends who have those types of jobs work far more hours than I do. Most Americans also get a 2 week paid vacation, plus holidays. The average Euro gets 6 weeks paid vacation, has a shorter work day, and many European countries have socialized single payer medical care. Those things are all major stressors in the American culture today.

We are a culture that has placed value on productivity, convenience, and profit. Self care does not really fit into the model in which we live. That is why people like Brene Brown are making a bloody fortune on self help/self care books. For heaven's sake, she just launched a whole campaign aimed solely at teachers on how to take care of themselves because she believes we are so overworked and under appreciated. (I have to s****** a little at the current self care movement that is permeating the teaching industry. It's simply BS because until the people sitting in the DO's across the country and in county, state and federal seats buy into what is an appropriate work load, it won't make a bit of difference. I spent last year basically working to rule. The repercussions were significant.)

So, I guess what I'm saying is that it is all well and good that the French eat the way the French do, but they are in France and not the good old USA. It's really like comparing apples and oranges, if you ask me. Eating well for someone who has disordered eating takes a hell of a lot of time and preparation. It's HARD. So let's call a spade a spade. It's not a matter of simply JFDI. To eat like a French woman you have to basically overhaul your whole ******g life because we don't live a cultural life that supports that way of eating. On top of that, for us that way of eating is UNNATURAL. It is not our go to mode of eating. If you are retired or semi retired, yes, that way of life is more attainable, though still quite difficult. If you are still working 10-12 hour days, trying to get a good 8 hours of sleep each night, it is a much harder change to achieve!

I don't apologize for my rant. I want to stand up and stamp my feet and say, "Hey, guess what? I get that those French *****es eat well, eat what they want and exercise only a bit. But I'M NOT FRENCH!!!! I live here. Help me change my life here. I can't do it alone, but being American, you all think I can or should be able to. Our cultural system is built to support obesity. Don't you all get it? It won't change until the system changes. Until then, we fight the uphill battle."

We all KNOW how to eat. That is not the issue. At least, I don't think it is. I think that those of us here are dealing with the complex process of how to live in harmony with the intricate emotional food web that we have constructed for our self preservation. So not only do we battle with 150 years of the industrial food revolution, we battle our own constructs for survival. For me, eating has become the ill prescribed medication for self preservation. Weight is just the symptom or the outcome of my self medication.

I am not angry at all. I am feeling bestirred and impassioned. To be common and vulgar, This **** if ******g HARD! The more I admit how hard it is, the better off I am. This is not JFDI work. This is mind boggling, effort sucking, emotionally exhausting hard as **** WORK! If it weren't, none of us would be on this board.

Every day that I eat well, hell, every meal I eat that is a well balanced, nourishing meal is a success. I do not applaud or appreciate my efforts nearly enough. Like the culture of American Education, I am always looking at what I need to do better. Never mind the kudos for what I have done well today. I was less than perfect, so I must do better. If I am always trying to do better, it means that I am never good enough. If I am never good enough, than I am less than. That is the message.

So today, I celebrate my breakfast. It is a breakfast I enjoyed. It included carbs and some sugar. It was a homemade breakfast - even the scone. I celebrate that I have cooked a week's worth of steel cut oats for my breakfast #2 each day. I am proud of myself for planning to pre pack my protein breakfast #1 for the week.

We all need to celebrate what we do well each and every day. I see that all of us here are expert at identifying what we need to fix. But we must be proud of what we are doing well. We must find a love of self that outweighs the underlying disgust and shame we feel for being less than perfect in our own eyes.

Love you all and thank you for the venue to express my eruption of thought.

My photo journaling of my stunningly delicious breakfast! Ham and cheese scramble, home made mini scone, blueberry preserves with a little grass fed butter. YUM! (note that I had to include my hand for portion reference! LOL!)