Monday, July 22 2019

Good morning!

Weight: 171

I'm up early as I'm going solo with the girls over the next couple of days while DH is at a work conference. Anyway, I heard Charlotte rustling and she probably would've gone back to sleep but the last thing I needed was to be getting Becca up, Charlotte wanting to be fed and trying to get myself ready. So I decided to go ahead and get Charlotte up and changed. Well, she decided to spit up all over me...so early shower and morning for me haha!

I've been thinking about so much recently. I'm definitely a worrier and always has been. Is this anxiety? I worry about all of you, I now will always be mindful of hubby's job situation (that was always one thing I was confident in. Boo), I worry about my parents because they are reaching retirement age and probably like so many they did accomplish all they wanted and it's sad to know that chapter is closing, like it or not.

But I keep trying to remember to live in today and today only. It's so ineffective and inefficient to worry about tomorrow when God only knows what it'll bring anyway.

I've also been admiring my body. Kind of similar line of thinking: love what you've got right now. I'm starting to get my pre-pregnancy shape back and that makes me so happy! I'm rethinking explant but I think that's mostly motivated by fear. I'm also reeeeallly happy with my tummy tuck. There are definitely things I could nitpick about it but considering I lost 126lbs. and since TT have had 2 babies, it looks terrific.

I was so happy to hear from Shel yesterday. I definitely need to surround myself with more people like her irl. And aspire to be that person. Whether it's a façade or truth, your cheerful outlook has always inspired me.

Today will be much cooler--only 85!! I'm even thinking soup! Is all the back to school stuff out where you live? And apparently today is when many businesses turn over to fall. Tooo soon!!! I love fall as much as the next person, especially a reprieve from this heat. But I need at least another month of summer. I feel like I missed so much of it between having a baby and all the cool rainy May we had. I'm chalking the next 6 weeks full of summer: our annual pool party, anniversary trip to Mexico, and then we're spend the last of maternity/paternity leave to go visit family in Florida.

Basically today I'm celebrating all the good things. I'm going to be consciously redirecting my brain. We have so little time and any time harping on things will be on the good things.

Waiting for a tour of the Memory Care place with DS. The person is running late which isn't good - DS has to go to work so this is delaying him.

Other than that, we have a support group activity at 1.

Have a mindful Monday!

ETA: DS said I was giving him the "stink-eye" when he asked questions during the tour. I don't think so but he was very emotional about it. I always feel depressed over these tours so I guess this is just his way of coping/reacting. He did say it was a nice place.

I avoid all the back to school stuff as much as I can! I do love my job, but even so, I would retire if I could right now.

When I was your age, I worried about everything. I've become much more in the moment and it is really a blessing to have some of that background worry hum shut off. That being said, I did see a therapist when I was 30, and it helped me tremendously. At that time, I hadn't entered clinical depression. I was diagnosed with a condition called disthymia. It's a low grade depression,people generally function, but experience a lack of enjoyment. Sort of like the Windows were all smudged and dirty in my life, I could see out, but not all the light was getting in.

Yesterday's fun was seeing Guys and Dolls. Not one of my top 10 musicals, but they may have changed my mind with the exuberant and fast paced production. Very well done, and with a leisurely pre show dinner, added up to a lovely evening.

Today is the last day of DH's staycation. It's sunny, breezy, and much cooler than Friday. Almost fall like. We're going to poke around a historic city (now full of all the expected touristy shops) on a huge lake west of the twin cities.

Quote: The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper. ~ W.B.Yeats, poet

I am east of Portland "camping" on the Columbia River in Viento State Park. The grounds are lovely, but it is so close to I84/route 30 that the freeway noise is disruptive to the sensation that I'm in the woods. LOL!

Today is a do NOTHING day. Thank heavens! After 4 days of intensity, I'm loving this leisurely pace. There is a lovely breeze moving through the trees and keeping us cool in the shade of the woods. The woods here are part coniferous and part deciduous. It is a very pretty mix of green. There are little and big maples, white birch, firs, and spruce all living harmoniously in one local. I have spent far less time in the Pacific Northwest than in New England and finding myself feeling a kinship to this area I have never felt when staying in New England. I must be a true westerner. I can see living in this area very easily.

We got up late this morning - about 9:00. I walked the dogs around so they could do their morning business, then had two leisurely cups of Pete's made in the portable Keurig we keep in Goat's cupboards, made eggs and bacon for breakfast and are simply enjoying the nothingness of the day. This afternoon we will take the dogs down to the river for some play time. Hopefully, I will get some decent pics to share.

Last night we ate our first camping meal. It was the best dinner we've had since we left home. Filet mignon, Caesar salad, and mashed potatoes. I have no idea what prompted me to fill my plate like a normal person, but I did (pic to follow). It just felt right. I finished the salad, and then went for the meat. I was able to eat about 1/3+ and a few forkfuls of mashed potatoes. Ron, my bottomless pit, finished off my mashed potatoes and the left overs in the pan! LOL! He loves his comfort food just as much as we do. It is amazing to me how that man can eat and weigh as little as he does. Oh, to have been blessed with that metabolism.

It was wonderful to get Shel's update! Thanks, madam! Ann, hope you have a wonderful time in Iowa and the class is what you hoped for. BB, I read a report of a study of worriers. A group of 100 people who were self proclaimed worriers (and also diagnosed with anxiety) were followed for a 5 year period by a psychology PhD candidate and her team. The findings were incredible, IMO. First, most of the things people worried about were beyond their control. In other words, they had no realistic influence on how something might turn out. Second, in the 5 year period the participants were followed and interviewed, 99% of the things that the group of people worried about never came to pass! That was a real eye opener for me. Worrying is an energy killer and most of what we worry about is beyond our control to begin with.

Our Campsite
A plate I picked up at the Oregon Airedale Terrier Society banquet for $5. I couldn't pass it up.
My first "camping" dinner made on the a borrowed dime store charcoal grill. It was deeeeeelicious!

In our younger years we were tent campers. Camped a lot when we were dating, newlyweds, and when the kids were little. We haven't been now for years, but everyone's stories with their RVs are making us think we need to get back at it. Not sure if we can afford an RV at this point, but maybe a small used trailer. DH is very mechanical and could remodel one easily. Hmmmm....

Such an incredibly beautiful day here! Everything has dried out from our deluge. Funny how different the soil is here than in CA. In CA, that much rain would have been a disaster. Here it just soaks in eventually.

I'm making a few new recipes tonight, both have a vietnamese flair - a veggie/noodle salad and marinated grilled chicken thighs. I can't believe it, but you can get lemongrass in Nowheresville, MI. How international the world has become!

I need to go let Ferg in the other house as no one is home and he's barking to be let in. I never said he was smart!

For fun, here is a golden I saw in the parking lot of the grocery store today in a convertible... (it was in the 60s, so I wasn't worried about his wellbeing)

It's so beautiful here today also. The side effect I'm having from all the rain is that some of my impatients are too wet, and not blooming too well. That's a lot of water is an impatient flower is overwatered.

We just got back from our visit to historic city on the big lake. There is a French bakery. I now know what a French crepe cake is ~ something delicious, that's what. No regrets. I tried to balance it out by having a cup of soup for lunch, no sacrifice there since it was clam chowder, yum.

We are now leaving for downtown to go to a Twins vs. Yankees game. Beautiful night to sit in a very nice stadium.

Greetings Monday Maniacs!

No weight today. I had to get up at the crack of dawn to be at the county courthouse for jury summons. Then you sit there in detention and watch a stupid video (which I have seen several times) and wait around while they go over the questionnaires they give you and figure out who they will set free. They ask if you have a doctors apt and I do (ok with a shrink) and whether I could reschedule. I said unsure. The lady finally asked if I wanted to stay or go. I said go. Feel a bit guilty for not being a good citizen but honestly most of it is waiting around and the jury chairs are these old bolted down hard wooden jobs that I know I would hate. A year from now I will get another summons.

BB I am also a worry wart. Some of it may be habit from the law game - always trying to think ahead of consequences. I still struggle with this but finds it helps to just think about the worst that could realisticly happen and sometimes all it is is a little inconvenience or inefficiency. Living in the moment is not my strong suit - yesterday walking on a spectacular beach I found myself thinking mostly about how my legs and feet hurt. Not cool. DD, how did you stop worrying?

Today I got a second hand desk chair from our studio. Much cushier than the old one. Its beat up and needs some duct tape but love the softness of it.

Ham and sweet corn tonight.

Cici glad the rain soaks in and that Fergie is doing his perceived job of guarding empty houses. Enjoy the guest free days.

So why to taggers go out and spray paint stuff??

Liz glad DS is coming around.

Peps, The camp set up looks great. Love the airedale lawn ornaments. You are indeed Leader of the Pack (vroom vroom).

No clue on the next dog show for Tesla. All are far away. Diane S

A great deal of my worrying came from being codependant. My mother likes to tell a story about how she was crying and holding me, and I was 2 years old and patted her back and made soothing sounds. And thus began my career of thinking I was in charge of everyone else's feelings, and frankly, just everything. Therapy helped. And later, I began to practice gratitude, writing things in a journal every day. It helped immensely. If you're looking for things to write in your journal, it forces you into the moment. And then it became just part of my cognitive style. A final piece was reading that even 2 minutes of meditation can change brainwaves. So, when I am feeling out of sorts, I will set my phone timer for two minutes and just breath in and out. I often do this at the end if my workday to switch gears. I get everything ready to leave, and the last thing I do is sit at my desk with the lights off (I have nice Windows), and meditate for 2 minutes.

Hey All

Popping in - little late but have had a busy morning. Few errands planned for after work - pick up a mower catcher for a second nesting box for the chooks - one isnt enough with 9 of them... And we have been given lots of fruit trees from our neighbours for our farm as they are moving interstate. We will dig them out tonight and plant into tubs ready to transport to the farm on the weekend. Very blessed

No weight today - on purpose. Out to dinner last night for neighbours birthday - hmmmm I didnt have dessert but ate too much beef brisket

BB- You are doing so great with 2 little girls and DH being away. My sons are 17 mths apart and their father worked 14 hour days so you getting up early to make a start on sorting one before the other woke resonated strongly with memories I have. Im a worrier too so can relate x

Liz - so glad that DS is touring the facility with you. Hope it helps him to process it all

Cec - Enjoy your visitor free time :) Peace and solitude

Peps - Loving seeing the pics - makes me smile to see you all relaxing with the fur babies :)

DD- Last day of staycation - sounds like it will be another great one

Ann - Hope you are enjoying your road trip

David - Hello and hope all is well with you

Miss150 - Same to you

Diane O - Same to you

Diane S - Glad you could dodge jury duty - you get called up once a year? Wow !

Shel - Sending you some Aussie hugs and love x

Have I forgotten anyone? If so - Hello :)

I best get back to work - day is dragging

Shirley