Friday July 19, 2019

ETA: 171. Bouncing around right there. Fairly happy. Maybe I'll update with weight in a bit. Currently just enjoying coffee and the quiet in our house.

I'm going to have to start responding on a word processing document because I read and forget my responses. But here's my best shot!

Diane S.-20 years! What an accomplishment! (hard to believe 2000 was nearly 20 years ago, huh?)

VSGAnn-glad you were able to have a good day in spite of (because of?) indulgences. Some things don't have to be defined by calories but I'm so programmed into that mindset

DD-Love everything you said about not having time with your loved ones and if not now, when. I know I'm really bad about "we should have lunch sometime." And sometime never comes. Or maybe an opportunity arises but I don't have time to make the meal I want or the house isn't clean enough. But maybe it never will be. So carpe diem! (also, another mantra I've had to embrace recently is "be good enough"--do Sunday dinner even if it's brought in, have people over even if the house is a mess, etc.)

Liz-I'll have to check FB. HOpe your appointment went well, but I'm pretty sure Financial advisor's live to make us feel inadequate! lol. I'd like to think hubs and I still have time to save, and already have been, but they make us feel like we'll be living under a bridge if we don't change now! And my parents just recently had the same experience. So I hope you're feeling okay today!

Re: keeping stuff in the house. For me it depends. But unfortunately I think with babies I'm going to have to learn to accept the junk food. Teddy grahams has been a recent weakness of mine. But usually I can keep chips around and not bother them except for their intended purpose like with burgers or sandwiches. I also can keep certain candy--especially more plain chocolate--and not disrupt it unless I'm feeling a craving for chocolate. In fact, I've mentioned on here before that sometimes I feel like having it around actually lessens my instinct to overeat it. Because I know it's always available, that somehow makes it less special. But it really depends. Like a good baked treat out (because it will go old) will get demolished. Peanut m&M's? Yeah, they're not long for this world. Reese's? Did those even make it out of the store? And yet I've had a huge bag of Halloween candy up in the movie room. And yeah, sometimes when we watch a movie we eat a handful of the mini's (overeat?) but I almost exclusively save it for real "movie" occasions.

My goodness it is hot here! I can tell it's super hot because my feet are swelling. Can I just take one minute to say hallelujah I'm not pregnant in this heat!!

But unfortunately our upstairs AC is out and that's where Becca sleeps. We have a home warranty and the same people have been sent out 3 times already (it keeps freezing up, then thawing and ok, etc.) and failed to fix it. Hubby and spent multiple hours on the phone with warranty, getting run around, asking to speak to manager and never being handed one. So irritating. And poor little Becca's room is hot.

Has anyone seen Hamilton? Reviews? It's coming here in a couple weeks and ticket prices are steep. But I've heard good things.

Good morning BB. Nice to see you so early!

The meeting with the financial planner was good - I can definitely afford to do this even at my current spend level and we have a plan. I tentatively talked about placing DH in Memory Care in October. That will give him some good summer time but will be far enough from the holidays that he can settle in. Meanwhile DS is concocting ideas about how to get his Dad to Florida for the winter so I don't have to fly with him. I didn't really react. I couldn't even have DH there without changing a lot of the sleeping arrangements. I can't have him peeing in my king size bed and have to change the whole thing! Nor do I like the idea of a shut-in lifestyle there. I wouldn't be able to walk with my friends anymore, participate in evening activities, or do anything really unless DH was in daycare or I hired someone to come into the house. Not feasible OR desirable in my mind.

Today will be dry but kind of cloudy until late in the day so while DH is at daycare I'm getting my hair cut and highlighted and doing errands. Early evening we are going downtown to see some outdoor shows and music. Cape Cod is great for those activities in the summer.

Have a full Friday!

I would think DS would like that Paul will be in MC on the Cape, close to him...to sign out and visit as often as he wants. It seems like he is looking for ways to make managing his health and welfare YOUR responsibility. Stick to your guns and your plans. You have given everything you have to give and YOU deserve a life too.

Very good point!

And even if you rarely leave the house, he could wander off when you are in the shower, napping, or your back is simply turned. It's a safety issue for him as much as a quality of life issue for both of you. I have seen so many police bulletins for missing dementia sufferers who wandered away from home care...

AC on, working, coolness in the shop in the woods. So miserably humid outside. And slap you in the face cold when you walk in the shop. It feels wonderful.

Adalyn still playing with the box the ac unit came in. She repeats her actions often. The other day she opened the door of the box. She goes all the way in. Sometimes looks out of the window of the box. Then out the door of the box and says Hello. Repeat.

I missed my knee injection appointment because I was late. Glitch in my calendar app had me on Pacific time. Time was still right on the entry when you try to edit it. Weird.

Eating has not been bad but weight is all too stable. I have been eating a lot of watermelon. My joints are unusually swollen and the change in salt did not fix it. One year it was watermelon. I love the stuff. I will stop eating it to see if that is the culprit of the joints.

BB, DS and DIL saw Hamilton in Chicago. They both loved it.

Liz, glad the meeting went well. My BIL is a financial planner and frequently posts about half million dollar investment opportunities. I am laughing inside. Mostly.

More later, David

You guys may remember how much I've hated my implants.

Well, I've scheduled a consultation for explant. I'm sooooo nervous. Not because I want them. But because this will be me finally getting what I've wanted. I've complained about them so much, but what if I'm still unhappy? It's so hard to know! What if I just end up being a complainer? I wish I could go back 5 years ago and tell myself "you don't need that, just be happy!"

I know a lot of people on here consider plastic surgery and so I'm putting this out there in the hopes that it will reach someone on the fence. And I know Shel has been so encouraging of me.

I'm far from against procedures--even purely aesthetic procedures--to boost your confidence. That being said, I do think it's very very important to know that there is a limit to what physical alterations can do to change emotional scars.

My VSG--100000% worth it. And totally worth it aesthetically too. Life changing.

My tummy tuck--really worth it. But I'm sure I'll always be able to knit-pick. There is only so much a surgeon can do with that redundant skin. I still have love handles and I have a scar (but it turned out well). But I definitely feel more normal now--even with 2 pregnancies down. In some ways I consider this to be more of a reconstructive surgery.

But my BA was wholly unnecessary and entirely regretted. I do sometimes wonder if it had been done correctly if I would've liked it. I certainly think I'd like it more. But I also feel like I don't identify with that version of busty beauty personally. Maybe it's because it was the only thing thin about me always, but I love see my collar bones more than my chest. I like how lithe I feel. And I love nothing more than doing chest presses in the gym=strength. And perhaps I like the feeling of strength more than beauty!

Nothing has been set in stone yet. But I'm SCARED. Really scared. I know nothing can turn back time and just give me exactly what I want. And part of my fear emanates from the fact that once I have what I "want", I cannot moan and complain anymore. I just have to move forward. But I guess that's all we can ever do.

Hamilton is amazeballs!

I saw it in NOLA. That road company was as good as the Broadway cast. Just outstanding!

Hamilton is fantastic! Last summer we made a special trip to Chicago with some of our friends to see it. Totally worth it. We were thinking about doing it again, but chose Staycation instead.

Entertaining... when my daughter lived here, our house was a hang out. It's a modest house in an affluent community, so she had friends with much, much nicer homes, but they still hung out here. She told me they called it the grange. That's the Weasley home in the Harry Potter books. I was taken aback, and said, but the Weasley's house is kind of dumpy isn't? She said, Mom, you're not getting it, it's the warm, welcoming place where everyone is comfortable. So I've tried to own the fact that my house is over 30 years old, and some things we haven't upgraded are worn, and it's definitely not spacious, but people come over to see us, and hopefully look forward to good food and conversation. Tonight we're having friend's over, and I must admit I feel tense. If I compare their home to ours, we are looking very shabby. They have a housekeeper, all furniture purchased (not scrounged) in this decade. They just got married 8 years ago, and all their dishes and serving pieces match :) Whenever they want something fixed, they hire it. We are DYI income, so things happen much slower because of time. And sometimes we have to choose between upgrading an appliance and going on a trip. The trip usually wins. :) My beloved aunt, who also had a small but inviting home said its decorated in early American poverty. We've borrowed her motto. So I understand your entertaining angst, but I guess the message for me to take away is, better to push through it and not miss out on the fun.

What a cool appellation and compliment: "The Grange"