07/16/19, Tuesday

Good Morning All - Here at a much better hour this morning. Wood fire is crackling away and cup of tea in hand.

Weight 177.32 - down from yesterday but still over my line in the sand weight range. All I have wanted to do is eat lately...... grrrr

DS is fine this am and off to work. The girl he rear ended is also fine. So in my books thats all that matters.

Quieter day today (fingers crossed) just work then I want to start preparing a garden bed out the back. Need to cart soil from from of house to back and spread. DS moved all the bark and weed mat for me yesterday whilst I was working. Hoping to get it planted out and mulched on Sunday. Then wire around it to keep the dogs from destroying it

Diane - Vancouver will be here before you know it - Glad you are starting your list. I need to finalise our trip plans soon too.

Liz- I am with the others - maybe let DS do a few full days and nights looking after his Dad. Might give him a better understanding. Here for you xxx

Miss150 - I always make my bed and the kitchen bench must be clean - those are my things. Its a layover from when I was working long hours and the boys were young. I would collect them from after school care and likely shop on the way home for dinner fixings. Coming in and being able to dump the food on the bench and start preparing just made life a little easier when I had 2 starving sons to feed.

BB- You are doing fabulous x I wish you could look at you through our eyes. Dont be hard on yourself x I also wasnt a stay at home kinda mum. It was something I struggled with as it made me feel different to many. Many hours mulling it over. What I decided was, that our evenings and weekends were special. We did such fun things! I was a single mum and we used to get all the chores done then pack a picnic and head out on adventures. Special memories. Also for me, working allowed me to give them their trip to the States in 2012 - Disneyland, Kennedy Space Centre etc and Hawaii on the way home. Plus buy the home we live in now on my own.

Peps - Goat sounds like shes all refreshed and ready to rumble again. Love hearing about your adventures :)

Diane - Welcome back. Hope Gallery duty isnt boring today

Ann - Its hard isnt it. I tend to do the same thing but I cant maintain it... Im not strong enough. Hence the reason I got to the size I did. I have so much respect for you and your determination x Proud of you

Cec - Loving the pics of your gorgeous boy

David - Hello :)

Good to see you MawMawPenny - Look forward to getting to know you. This is an amazing group :)

Have a great evening - a second cup of tea is calling me

Shirley

Interesting thoughts about avoiding the extremes in celebration and in maintenance/reducing. Year 2 and 3 lost WLS were so fun, because I seemed to be able to eat intuitively, enjoying, but not gaining. I followed my post surgery rules, but occasional indulgences fit. I never in my life enjoyed food so much, as I ate small portions of delicious things, and savored them without guilt, because my weight was right where I wanted it to be.

Fast forward, and that stopped working. Maybe too many indulgences, too many extra tastes and bites... I've struggled with what the hell is going on. It seems that in order to lose any measurable amount of weight, I have to drop to around 800 calories a day, for a sustained amount of time. I tried that with the help of phentermine (before I joined this board) and I was eating pretty much like 6 months post surgery. I lost 10 pounds in a month, and I neary lost my mind. Even on a very low dose (15mg) I felt not energized, but crazy. It wasn't worth it to me.

So now, I'm making peace with myself. 1,200-1,400 most days, I appear to maintain. Maybe really tracking at this level, I would lose weight very slowly. Maybe. I can't happily exist on less than this. Some other variables left to play with: exercise. 1.More of this could nudge my metabolism a bit if I built some muscle. 2. Change the composition of what I eat, whole foods, lower carbs, I'm feeling pretty good about how this has been going so far this summer. 3.tvWhen I eat. I'm working on this now. The Obesity Code book rejects the idea of many small meals, because it keeps your insulin less elevated the whole day. This makes sense to me. Eat less often. WLS taught me to eat many small 200 calorie meals. And I also had kind of a paranoia about ruining my small capacity by eating actual meals. But now I can see that my increased capacity can work for me. Until this summer, I would never have eaten a small entree and a piece a fruit at the same meal. It seemed like the road to predition. Now it seems like a strategy to expand the amount of time between meals, and increase satiety. This whole thing is a never ending experiment with a subject of 1.

Quote: Embrace the glorious mess that you are.

~ Elizabeth Gilbert

So in making room for some semblance of sanity with food and still living, this week's food intake might get weird. Today started our staycation. I grabbed 3 pieces of bacon as we went out the door to a local science museum. The planitarium show was about the Apollo program. You guys, TODAY is the 50th Anniversary of the launch of Apollo 11. Saturday is the anniversary of the moon landing. Does it not fill you with wonder and awe still? It all still blows me away, the level of perseverance, teamwork, skill, intelligence, bravery, optimism, vision of 1000s of people to make this happen.

After the museum, we went out to lunch at the best burger place in the Twin Cities (specifically St. Paul) if not the world. Yes they are that good. I ate half of mine, 2 fries, and had a Paloma ****tail. I'll probably eat the other half for dinner (after an appropriate amount of time had elapsed according to my new eating plan). DH is now meeting a friend for a movie, and I am relaxing on the porch. Plans for the rest of the week so far: meeting up with a dear childhood friend and his husband for dinner, tickets to Guys and Dolls, some time on a beach, friends over for dinner on Friday... more to come :)