Tuesday, July 9, 2019

Is it really Tuesday already? Yesterday was the 50th Anniversary of my older brother's death. He died in a car accident just after his high school graduation. A shock for everybody, but especially my mother who didn't really recover for another 30 years or so.

We went to lunch at the restaurant DS is the exec chef at yesterday. Beautiful day and view from the patio:

After lunch I took DH and Justice for a walk on part of the "Shining Sea" bike path, then the two SIL's came for dinner cooked by DS at home (Salmon). Oh and DS set up 3 more meals for the week. Good son!

Today I am dropping off a deposit to reserve the next available room of the type I want for DH at a local Memory Care place. I really like it though the cost scares me of course. I have a couple more tours to do, but wanted to get on the list here right away. I may put deposits in at more than one place. I'm a little worried about DS reaction to moving DH. He keeps saying we can just share responsibilities. I need to bring him on a tour and talk about the advantages for DH of being in a good place. After the check drop, I think I am going to the beach.

Shel, love you! And the rest of you as well!

Have a thoughtful Tuesday.

Wonderful progress, Liz. Shel, you have been with me so far today . I forgot to put my Fitbit back on today, after charging it. When I set out on today's walk and made that discovery, I was immediately disappointed. Thinking of you, I made it a point to walk for the fun and joy of it, not for the number of steps I could get. What a shift ! I'll bet if I am looking for fun, I'll find it in just about everything!

142.4

Good son, indeedy! My DS#2 Likes to come over and makeitshakeitbakeit play in the kitchen, but more often than not, it is with the hope of carrying a good portion of said goodies home with him. The company and shared time is my take away.

Salmon sounds yummy right now.

Anniversaries are rightful rituals- you do your brother and family honor in the remembering.

Today it was not such a thing to get up and walk. 21 days does a habit make? 2 down and 19 to go. Progress over time...progress is made daily over time....

I've been reading a bit about the importance of food consumption over time (each day). My attitude has been: 1. Since I am not hungry in the morning- indeed, hunger does not seem to kick in until After I've eaten something and 2. I look at total consumption as a "daily bank account" to be depleted without overdrawing, I have for a long time 3. saved my calories for "optimum enjoyment" activities later in the day and then into the evening. Frequently I will not eat until after 11:00 or even 1:00 pm. I've been calling this "intermittent fasting", which is probably all well and good, except I think I'm doing it for all the wrong reasons.

Seems to me that what I am doing is trying to manipulate food. By not eating breakfast calories, I make it ok to snack and nosh throughout the day and into the evening. I may well be creating a huge hunger deficit that I never can catch up with. Journaling food again has made me more aware of not only what I'm putting in, but also thinking of the whys, whens and hows of it. I haven't figured a dang thing out, yet, and may not...but posting on the Daily eats thread is helping me be more mindful. It's not just the food for me (damn it- would be so much easier if it was).

A thank you to which of you started the food post - you rock boulders!

As always, today is the day; cherish and enjoy it as we can. It's all good.

Interesting thoughts on skipping breakfast to save calories for later. I've done that a few times lately and I agree that it doesn't seem to achieve the theoretical goal of staying within calorie ranges. I also am not very hungry until early afternoon but I think that when I eat my usual protein-rich, fairly low-cal breakfast (cottage cheese, eggs and Canadian bacon cooked in micro) I feel very full even longer and am possibly less hungry later in the day.

Yep, That is exactly what I'm reading...20-30 g protein with a bit-o-carb and fat.

Maybe one way to see the idea is that of breaking fast so late in the day creates such a deep hole (obviously, if I am up, I am burning calories as well as sucking energy walking early morning) as to put mind/body into overdrive mode in order to catch up---- Which may be what sparks the "just can't satisfy the hunger" mentality Obviously, 145+g of protein should more than take care of - but just does not when I eat it on such a delayed schedule.

This morning had 2HB eggs stuffed w/G. yogurt and a touch of hummus. So far, so good.

You remind me- time to make some cottage cheese (although I like it so well as to....crap, can't win for loosing...)

Hmm, interesting discussion on skipping breakfast. I've actually been mulling over intermittent fasting, but a very weak version. Maybe 12 -14 hour fast. I'm trying to achieve that by not eating in the evening, so I don't have to postpone breakfast. I do know if I don't have "meals" I graze more. For example, maybe I decide I'm not cooking and I'm going to have peanut butter toast, if I have a side dish with it, cut up fruit, some salad, etc my mind will register that I ate. If I just have the toast, or the soup, I register snack, and continue to do so.

Liz, I think you are wise to put in your deposit now, before you are in crisis mode. A part of me wants you to "share" care duties with your son, let him be completely in charge every other night, let alone the days. But your idea to educate him about the advantages of memory care is more compassionate.

Yes, DH tends to do nothing at home other than listen to music and come with me to walk the dog. There are lots of appropriate activities going on every day (even the weekend) at this place. He might actually be happier. And we can take him out or visit whenever we want. Visitors are encouraged to eat with them at no cost!

I have tried intermittent fasting. Baseline I wake starving. If I can get past that initial feeling I can do ok. I have done 16 hrs once and 12 hrs 3-4 times. Once this week. My problem is that I need to do it frequently. And I do not. Jason Fung MD has YouTube videos and books.

DD brought her car over for me to change the oil this morning. I don?t change my own usually because I always forget to take my used oil to the recycle places. The used oil just sits around in my way. But she is broke. She bought the oil and filter and asked. Once a year I change all of the fluids and filters in the little tractor so I will recycle all the fluids at the same time.

Liz, The walks with DS will be worth a lot. Cost of a care facility is high but your quality of life is valuable too. As Alzheimer progresses someone will have to be with DH for safety 24/7. Maybe more than one someone. I have to have ME time. It is not selfi**** is essential for my mental health. I frequently tell my DW I need a time out. I like that the facility encourages eating together with free meals.

more later, David

the views are beautiful.

Yes, sometimes I'm struggling with the lack of freedom and resent that DH has caused it (even though it wasn't intentional). Some people in support groups say that they have more quality time once their spouse is in care because the stress and resentment is removed.