Wednesday, May 29, 2019

Weight 134.4, calories 671. I have my 3 year Bariatric appointment today. I know I will have to fess up to weight gain (rather obvious), but I feel like I'm back to a frame of mind to deal with it now.

It was rainy and cold yesterday afternoon and this morning. But Justice and I did sneak in a walk around a pond with SIL in the morning yesterday. DH went to daycare and enjoyed it again and is going to start taking the bus both ways (I had been driving him in the morning). I am going to add a third day as soon as they have room.

Yesterday afternoon I toured a Memory Care unit that I wouldn't let Justice visit! It was depressing and smelled like urine everywhere. A friend had her mother there and recommended it. Perhaps her mother was on Medicaid and didn't have many choices? As private pay, it cost twice as much per month as the most expensive place I toured in Florida! There is a newer less expensive place a half hour from here I am going to check out but with potentially years of care needed, DH may end up in Florida.

Time to put out the trash, take a shower, then get DH up and fed before I leave for my appointment (90 minutes away). A friend is staying with DH while I am gone today.

Have a well Wednesday!

1. Within Range: yes
2. General Wellbeing: 9 on SS
3. 10,000+ Steps: 2145
4. Fitness: nada
5. Self-Care: reading
6. Play/Leisure: reading
7. I learned...: I don't have to feel guilty about a do nothing day.
8. Intentions: Seek balance & relax, rejuvenate, & recalibrate !!

Yesterday we had a series of thunderstorms, with a suspected tornado south east of us in PA. We spent the day inside. I didn't have enough laundry to do a load, and couldn't do anything outside. We just sat around and read all day. When I was MO, all I did was sit around, because more than a few steps caused severe joint pain. I realized that sitting around reading or watching TV was deeply aligned with binge eating for me.... Pounds of M & Ms, bags of chips, half gallons of iced cream. I don't have a lot of experience just relaxing without eating, and I guess I've been too busy to really notice it. I felt the feels and worked through making new memories with books that don't involve food. I Drank a lot of vitamin water with seltzer but it was a very uncomfortable experience for me.

I know what you mean about former eating when sitting around and the urge to do the same now. It is why I try to have indoor projects as much as possible (no issues when outside).

Weight: 138.4
Macros: Calories - 1,384, Carbs - 142, Fat - 49, Protein - 94, Fiber - 33
Sleep hours: 8 hours
Veggie/Fruit Servings: 7
Water glasses: 2
Exercise: yoga class, 6,000 steps

I'm betting some of y'all did not get enough sleep last night! I've read this morning that greater Kansas City saw some serious action last night, but the large tornado there could have done so much more damage. Lots of thunder-boomers and rain early this morning, but the weather map shows us only in the "slight risk" (yellow) band of danger. For the next 24 hours we'll have more storms, rain and flash floods, but fingers crossed we won't see anything worse. Ah, springtime!

I had a lovely day yesterday on a field trip to a yoga friend's got-bucks brother's home atop a gorgeous hill overlooking an even more gorgeous river valley. And maybe it was the 10.5 hours of sleep I had Monday night, but my mind felt so clear, with many inspirations and ideas for my writing projects. Boy, I wish I could get that kind of sleep every night!

Today's plan is house cleaning, weeding (when the rain stops), a few errands and a facial.

Today's theme (honoring DianeO's and Liz's comments above): Idle hands are the devil's tools. :) Housework music!

Rats! Now we're in the "enhanced risk" (orange) band on the map.

Be safe !

Eating as entertainment during down times... I can read without snacking, but it's true that I am constantly sipping, usually something flavorful like chai latte etc. So it doesn't do a whole lot of calorie damage, but maybe I should think some more about the NEED to always be consuming something.

I am of the mindset to not beat myself up over my regain, but instead try to address it with a sustainable eating plan. But not this week. Ugh, I feel so fat and hopeless. I'm 7 years out from surgery, and I've gained 30 plus pounds in the last 3 years. The last 10 pounds have made me physically slower, and have begun to reconstruct my fat prison. I've spent this last year losing and regaining the same 5 pounds. Sigh. I have to figure out something soon. My husband suggests I rejoin a gym and get a personal trainer. He thinks I will feel better if I feel stronger, and if I feel better that way, it might lead to me feeling more in control of the eating. It's not a bad idea, but I feel reluctant to get started. I will make it my goal to check out the new gym that opened by our house by this Saturday.

I typically don't lose weight directly through activity but I do find it easier to gain control over my eating when I feel good (physically and mentally).

DD, this next bit is self-talk to myself and positively NOT advice for you, because I'm not seven years post-op yet--just dealing with my own Year 5 issues.

However, your post finally inspires me to say the following out loud here to be accountable.

Thus far FOR ME, I have observed that my lifestyle alternates between eating like a newly maintaining WLS patient and partying like it's 1999. Since my husband died, my life has alternated greatly between these two poles.

But long before my husband died, it was abundantly clear to me that my mantra had better be: "Don't do the crime if you can't do the time." Meaning, of course, that I have to lose holiday regain by eating the way I did the last few months I was still losing serious weight (for me, that meant eating 1200-1300 cals/day and losing 4-5 pounds a month).

It has become clear that unless I lose a foot between now and Saturday, I am NOT going to lose all of my NOLA regain in two months. I need another 2-4 weeks for that. Which actually is spot-on in terms of my personal metabolism / calorie arithmetic.

So onward and downward. I did the crime, and I will do the time. :)

Thanks for being here and listening, y'all.

Greetings All

Didn't weigh today. I am forgetting more and more to do so before I start consuming coffee. Seems like two cups weigh about 5 pounds but that can't be. Oh well.

Liz GL on appointment. If your surgeon is like mine, you will get a pep talk. Hope you find a good place for DH. Glad you have a friend to stay with DH to help.

DD you might try a gym if you think you would use it. Years ago I joined a new gym near my house and met my future DH there. Having said that, I belong to a nice one and should get my wide butt over there.

Ann, orange alert. I sure hope there are no more tornados or storms in your area. There have been enough. Ditto flooding.

We had the last of the scotch eggs last night. Shrimp tonight. I may make a shrimp salad. Having scabs on your hands makes cooking problematic. Latex gloves to the rescue.

My brother with the brain tumor has been falling at home and may need to go for more rehab. I fear he is not long for this world. Have a bad feeling.

Tesla is entered in shows over July 4. Hoping for a decent entry and a chance for points. Meanwhile she goes outside and gets into mud and then jumps into the bed. Its her job.

Well time to make some lunch and get going on activities which are banking, studio time and laundry. Take care all. Diane S