FRIDAY, May 17, 2019

Weight: 138.8
Macros: Calories - 1,209, Carbs - 120, Fat - 26, Protein - 81, Fiber - 26
Sleep hours: 5.5
Veggie/Fruit Servings: 11
Water glasses: 3
Exercise: 7,200 steps
Meditation: Yes

The scale is moving again in the right direction, which is nice to see that. In spite of this long plateau, I'm persisting with clean eating. It might take until mid-June to lose these last three pounds and have the loss stick. But as I said a few days ago, time will pass whether I'm caring for myself or not, and that's strong encouragement in the meantime to care for myself.

Yoga class yesterday was lovely. Lots of downward dogs and planks and standing poses. I'm looking forward to lots of yoga@home this weekend.

I'm still adoring being home. I enjoyed yesterday's mowing time and pulling weeds, both of which can be mediations.

Do y'all know that the full moon is tomorrow, June 18? I love full moons, but this morning's almost-full moon is probably the most moon I'm going to get this month, because tomorrow night the sky will cloud up and rain all night. Still ... the full moon will be up there, shining all big and bright.

Today's theme: Come on, full moon! List of 2019 full moons and a moonlight song for young and old lovers

The full moon has been tough with DH, so I'm a bit worried since we travel Sunday.

Today I have to get our boxes shipped and start knocking other items off the list. Some can't be done until Sunday morning but I want to leave those tasks to a minimum number.

Still no news from SIL who met with the oncologist yesterday. She said that it was a lot to process and she would talk to me today. I'm wondering if she should let our other SIL, who was with her, talk to people? She may think it is her responsibility but that doesn't matter anymore. I know that DD asked me to tell some people for her when she felt it would be too difficult. Regardless, my dread from yesterday continues today.

Have a full Friday.

It's hard waiting, nobody wants bad news, but the unknown, for me is worse. I remember when my mom's biopsy results were due. I was leaving a store, and I felt a cold river of fear run through me, knowing something was coming. In a strange way, it was better when I actually knew, instead of waiting for it.

I know! She has only told her son bits of it and I know he is going crazy. But she doesn't want to tell him the full story until she has made all her decisions.

Weight: 192.2

At my appointment yesterday, more scale amusement! Normally it is a good 4-5lbs. lighter than my home scale. But yesterday I weighed 182 at Dr! And it was on the same scale I always use (their other one, I may have mentioned, is normally 5lbs. heavier...now is it 10lbs?). I'm so confused!! How dumb that they even insist on this! Because this shows I "lost" 5lbs. since last week. In reality I think I gained 1-1.5 since last week. And if I'd hopped on the other scale, who know, I might've been up 5lbs. lol. I'm almost enough of a conspiracy theorist to think they do this purposefully so we don't get crazy. But they underestimate my crazy.

I felt really good and energetic yesterday. But sometimes people say that's a sign of impending labor. Of course: it's imminent and impending no matter what at 38 weeks!

I'm normally very Type A and like to know the plan but surprisingly I've been pretty chill with letting these girls decide their birthdays. Unless I absolutely have to, I want to avoid induction and go naturally. I know that can all change. But I also have so many friends, bless their hearts, who are miserable at this point and gladly scheduling an induction for 39 weeks or beyond.

I'm at a point where I've accepted that what is done is done, if I get more done, great and if not, she's coming one way or the other. I now have my hospital bag mostly packed. The main thing is that I do not have Becca packed but I'm still not sure of our plans for her. Hopefully it doesn't occur this weekend because my parents are out of state so we'd have to take her to a friend's house! So I should probably pack a bag for her!

Poor DH has been so stressed and thinks he needs to do EVERYTHING rather than leaving it up to me. And the promotion he was promised they have since decided to post externally while assuring him he's still in the running. We're trying to just be content with where we are now!! I did splurge on some patio planters yesterday. I'm hoping I can maintain them this summer. So excited for SUMMER!!

"But they underestimate my crazy", haha, that should be on a meme or greeting card!

I know nothing of pregnancy, but I think that weight is a measurement they pay pretty close attention to right? You'd think they'd get their scales straightened out so they'd actually know what's going on with their patients!

Bonnie, you are so going with the flow these days! It's awesome to watch, and your posts lately are so joyous. This must be mama-ness blossoming!

What an exciting time! I agree that it is preferable for this little one to pick her time. You have done so great with this pregnancy even while juggling the rest of life including another very small child.

I'm continuing to enjoy the music selections Ann. If we're picking moon songs, I'm very partial to Moondance by Van Morrison. A few years ago, dh and I went to a concert in the park to celebrate the last day of school, and on the way home, we opened the sun roof and blasted Moondance. What a joyous moment with expanse of summer stretching ahead and nothing to do but enjoy it.