TUESDAY, May 14, 2019

No words, except sympathy.

140.4

Ann, our scales must be conspiring cousins (although my record is likely due to an increase in some carb consumption).

It seems that much is being asked of our group members; the path being especially difficult and hard to navigate today. There is within each of us, the courage and strength to handle these experiences with grace. We are overcomes and perserver-ers--victory comes in bearing. My love, my hugs and encouragement are especially yours, Cecily and Liz, today.

Greetings Dear Ones

156 today. Nice halibut last night (better be for $20 a pound).

I feel like a group hug is in order. Much emotional stuff going on here. Cecily so sorry Fergus is ailing. Pet him and spoil him. You both deserve it.

And gosh Liz, things are moving so fast for you. Yeah DH needs to see sister and vice versa. But don't forget your own needs. Reminder : self care.

Lots to do but little scheduled. No Scrabble. Need to do much laundry and pick up papers for our brief trip Thursday and Friday. I don't want to leave all these financial papers around. House sitter is a dear but could be snoopy.

Good on all of you who are on sugar fasts. I ate two reeces last night. DH brought them (sabotour). And my evil bank has good candy.

My brother has to stay yet another week in rehab. Not sure what conclusions from this but doesn't seem good.

Ann I have no doubt you will avoid dessert at your club today. And do a super presentation.

Take care all. Diane S

The inflammation reduction continues. I am down another half a pound. I have now managed 3 non sugar days. The movie concession stand was a temptress, indeed! I managed to eek out of there with my planned diet cola and popcorn (with butter -the real stuff- and salt). Dinner was shredded beef barbacoa with salad. I did have about a 1/4 cup of rice, too. Ron loved the barbacoa so much, he had his serving and then went back and made two flour tortilla tacos too boot! Not going to lie. Part of me envied him for having the room, but I was grateful I did not!

A friend in Texas reached out to me yesterday about WLS. He has battled for years - up and down - like us all. He lost about 75 or 80 pounds over the past year, then had to have a surgery and I think he has gained close to all of it back in under 6 months. He believes he has an eating disorder. I was flattered that he reached out to me, even with my regain. I'm not at all the poster child for a permanent weight loss from WLS. Yet, I do believe my regain experience has left me with a unique and positive perspective on the benefits and the downsides of WLS.

Will finish the paper work on my motorhome tonight. Exciting. I am excited and think I'm foolish all at the same time! LOL! I don't NEED this, but I sure do want it. I'm so looking forward to dog show days being easier and more relaxing.

Devon, I think it is time for you to do things that please you!

And even if the RV doesn't pan out like you hope, you can sell it and do something different. Probably at no cost at all.

At some point, like NOW, it is high time we start taking chances and having new adventures. Today, I ended my NOLA presentation with this exhortation: Go try something that scares you!

You, of course, are 100% correct! I can't remember if I wrote it here, but I know I've told this to some recently: While my father is approaching 90 years old, my mother died before she turned 68. There is a 50-50 chance I take after my mother and I won't be a 90 year old like everyone on my dad's side of the family. That is one of the big reasons why I want to do this now. I'm not going to keep putting off for later. At 55, I think I've earned that later is NOW!

As far as trying something scary... I get that. That sentiment applies to so many levels of life. It's not only about big scary things like traversing the ice crevasses of Mt. Rainier, but also about the everyday scary things: living without added sugars; wearing a bright shirt when you're 80 pounds overweight knowing it's a great color for you, but not wanting to bring attention to your obese self; learning to ice skate at 55, etc... One thing I would like to do again is spend time with horses. I lived on the backs of Quarter horses in my youth. I have dogs and they are a lot easier, but I do miss the horses. Magnificent beasts.

I spent some time not too many months ago dealing with life regrets and what ifs. I still reflect on those regrets, because some of the regrets come from my fear based approach to life during my 20s. Gay was still not okay in the 80s. I also didn't fit "the mold" of popular entertainer or leading man. I wasn't tall. I wasn't a lyric baritone or tenor and I was not a dancer first. My voice was distinguishable,, but that had its drawbacks, too. I did pick up and move to NYC at 24. I learned how to live on no money. All scary. I spent less than a year in NYC before coming back to CA. I had made the decision that I was not cut out for the theatrical life. Truth is, I was lonely - missed my friends - and deep down I didn't believe I could do it. I lacked confidence.

I still am building confidence in myself. Buying the motorhome is a step in that direction. I feel so comfortable with my decision and even if I don't use it as often as I might like, I'm going to really enjoy having it and using it.

I'm cheering you on!

I'm watching Brene Brown: The Call to Courage On Netflix right now about choosing courage over comfort. Showing up and being brave. I highly recommend it! Confidence in yourself is huge!

I so agree. In our house, noticing our own aging, abiding with my sil as she begins to leave this world, watching the world narrow for my Mom due to health complications,

Our motto is: If not now, when?

We are searching for that balance between being judicious so if we are blessed with old age we have some resources, and not deferring dreams only to realize we waited too long. Good health and/or long lives are not guaranteed. I've been the ant for a long, long time, now it's time to be the grasshopper of Aesops Fables.

If not now, when?

DD, I could not possibly like this any more than I do.

Yes!

THIS!!!! Exactly!