SATURDAY, April 13, 2019

Weight: 142.8
Macros: Cals - 1,171, Carbs - 94, Fat - 36, Protein - 81, Fiber - 23
Sleep: 9 hours
Veggie/Fruit Servings: 11
Water glasses: 5
Exercise: 7,500 steps
Meditation: Yes

The weather here today is cloudy with more April showers on the way with a high in the mid-50s, so I'll get to wear a third piece of clothing.

Yesterday's veggies/fruits were more than abundant. Both lunch and dinner were basically large salads. I'm now ready for something different and plan to make beef and black bean chili.

At Friday's beautifully presented buffet-style benefit luncheon I did not eat a bite of anything that contained sugar or flour. No carrot cake, no cupcakes, no dish candies, no strawberries dipped in chocolate, no croissants, no casseroles. It was a bloody miracle! I was grateful that amidst the Southern comfort food the hosts also offered an undressed salad and several platters of crudites with that reliable buffet protein, chicken salad.

Yesterday I also reverted to that post-WLS person who watches what other people are eating. And lo and behold, the always-slim women were not eating sugar. They were also the ones standing up a lot. As Cecily and others have observed lately, we **** sapiens live amongst a smaller race of humanoids who just say no.

Today's theme is the most be-here-now Bible verse I ever learned: "This is the day the Lord hath made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it."

P.S. And in response to Cecily's question last night, I don't remember when Shirl's surgery is happening. Shirl ...?

Good morning! We still have snow on the ground from Thursday's blizzard, but it should melt this week. Today sadly, will still be winter mode, with clouds and maybe we will hit 40. I will keep busy inside and not notice.

I wonder if there are truly naturally thin people? In my experience with thin people, many of them are making conscious choices too, about what they eat. I do think they have some advantages, their hormones probably don't scream feed me the same way an obese person's do, or they didn't learn to self sooth or comfort with food ... Or maybe their sensory experience with food is different than mine. I never understood when someone said, it's too rich, or (my thin aunt), donuts leave a greasy taste in my mouth (this is a problem?). It's only after WLS surgery that I experienced the "too rich" phenomenon(hormone change? Gut bacteria realignment?) But I also know my Aunt would like to eat full fat ice cream everyday, but she doesn't. I suspect they way her body works may make it easier for her to say no ice cream, but she still does have to say no.

I just finished an amazing book ~ The Warmth of Other Suns. It's about the great migration of African Americans from the Jim Crow South to northern states. Stunning scope of research coupled with the stories of 3 people who migrated. I am still digesting it, as I feel some of what I Thought I Knew shift and new perspectives come into focus.

Today's plan is tidy the house, and then this evening, a trip into downtown Minneapolis to listen to a Beatles tribute band in the theater district. We will all cheer for Here Comes the Sun.

DD, thanks for the book tip. I will check it out today.

Yesterday I finished Less by Andrew Greer. It was for me an absolutely wonderful read. So many times I was floored by single sentences.

The book's plot and issues (the protagonist who's about to turn 50 years old goes on an around-the-world journey to avoid attending the wedding of his long-time ex-lover) really hit me where I live -- trying to figure out who I am as I age and how to live alone again.

I understand fully why this novel won the Pulitzer.

Five stars!

You clearly have much more willpower than I do Ann! Calories 1504 due to going out to lunch with SIL and consuming wine. Today there will be no wine and I'm making salmon burgers for dinner so it should be a better day.

Yesterday was a beautiful beach day with lots of sun, warm turquoise water and a nice breeze. The restaurant we went to was right in the marina and was wonderful. Today will be similar weather but I think we are mostly hanging around at home as DH doesn't seem up for any driving around. I may read standing in the pool as I've done on other hot days.

DH is watching the Christopher Robin movie. It looks cute but he keeps falling asleep.

Have a satisfying Saturday!

ETA: SIL is actually underweight. She says she doesn't get hungry and has to make herself eat. She has been thin her whole life though she is thinner than usual now. Maybe she has never felt hunger or maybe it is the alcohol she consumes these days (10-12 ounces of vodka plus almost one liter of tonic water daily)??? But she rarely eats more than about 2 ounces of protein and she buys thin bread and only eats one slice at most for either breakfast or lunch. Plus she only eats 2 meals a day. I actually wonder if she has a mild form of anorexia?

Liz, my two cents' worth is that I don't think for one second you and I differ in our "willpower."

But out here in the country six miles from Walmart, there's no one to cook for or to cook with or to eat and drink with. It's quiet, quiet, quiet, which for me, right now, is incredibly soothing.

For now, I'm not responsible for anyone else and not stressed by anything. This is a precious space and time. I don't want this all the time and I don't get this all the time. But when I need to reset, this is exactly what works for me.

I certainly don't expect that I'll be "perfect" for the next 6-7 weeks. Because surely I will not be, since I never have been. I'm just doing the best I can every day, every morning, every hour.

Weight: down 2.2 from yesterday's horror

I heard from Shirley, she had her surgery 3 days ago and is doing well. She hopes to head home from the hospital today to continue healing if all goes as planned.

Today my cousin's son is coming to visit from USC. He's a sophomore architecture major. We're going to have a hike in Laguna Canyon and then lunch at the beach at Crystal Cove. Should be fun! Though I'm out of practice having day-long conversations with 21 year old kids (though he's a nice one!). Wish me luck!

Happy weekend to all!

PS - Ann, you're a marvel. I don't think I could have said no to all of that.

DD - sending warm winds your way to melt your snow!

Liz - I've known people like your SIL who forget to eat and then barely pick when they do. What must that feel like??

I have no idea! My other SIL and I were asking her why she ate so little and she said "I'm never hungry". The other two of us looked at each other in pure amazement.

Liz, I dunno what else is going on, but sounds (to me) like she's approaching or already in end-stage alcoholism. At that point the body starts losing its ability to repair itself.

She's drinking seven times more alcohol than the amount defined as "moderate drinking." And because she weighs so little, her near-term prospects sound rough.

I'm so sorry she's in this pickle. As the experts say, at this point alcohol is in the driver's seat. Without a great desire to stop drinking and without residential care and support, she's unable to simply "cut back." The pain would be too great.

I wish I had understood all this better in my mid-thirties when my dad was in this state. I'd have been much more supportive of his struggles than I was.

The weird thing is that it is mostly consumed between 4-11 at night (unless out to lunch when she will add a couple to her daily quota) and she functions fine during the day. She drinks tons of water during the day but complains of "bathroom issues", but that's not surprising. I'd bet her doctor doesn't know - the only other health issue that seems related is her high blood pressure and low weight. If her liver function is off she isn't saying anything about that.