Sunday, April 7, 2019

The extra daylight, warmth (or at least, lack of snow)......glorious!

So impressed by your goddaughter. It is a pleasure to watch kids develop over the years -- but particularly special to see someone you know progressively reach such a high level. Enjoy.

Hiya!

I have read most of the posts, enough to know I missed a picture of a new calf (MY FAVORITE KIND OF PIC) so congratulations (!!!!) Shirl. Shirl, I am looking forward to you getting your body tuned up. You are absolutely amazing, you know that, right?

Speaking of animals (calves, not Shirl), I also enjoy Liz and Justice, Pep's pups and of course, Chip and Tesla. DianeS, I gave my hairy pants and one last hug before I put them in the laundry. I wonder how Paula's two pet girls are doing (and PAULA!!!! So nice to SEE YOU HERE!) Chill Fergus is also a favorite. Those wonder dogs, Atlas and Sadie should wear capes instead of therapy dog vests.

BB, I love your Facebook pics. Your friend and family bonds shine through. Ann, New Orleans was such a mix of feelings/emotions. Enjoy your country home's serenity whi*****ludes a new dash of French.

DD, I think of your triad of very sick peeps often, mostly as I tromp thru the woods. No wonder you have needed a lot of sleep. Truly emotionally draining even if you aren't physically involved. Sleep can be a necessary part of good self medicating.

Ah, and there it is. Self-medicating. (Pausing to refill coffee cup.) Honestly, the rest of the post really should be in a personal journal so feel free to skip.

Why don't I accept good as good? Borrowing trouble, as my Grandma would say. (Anxiety comes down that side of the family, maybe she had it, too?)

Letting PERCEIVED perfection getting in the way of good. This is true in many areas of my life with food dysfunction as one of the best examples. The physical manifestation is impossible to miss, tho surprisingly easy to ostrich. (I have never felt food addicted, tho I certainly have behavioral overlaps)

I am at a healthy weight. Why does my brain want to mess with that, maybe even sabotage?

I am formally calling out Rainier trip as an eating challenge I have not faced since VSG. This starts in 10 weeks, summit bid is 10.5 weeks.

My clothes need to fit for Rainier. I have anticipatory weirdness about that. Sort of like needing a wedding dress to fit although in the first time of my life, the wedding dress already fit! I repeat (just in case my brain didn't hear) the wedding dress already fit!

I started started over-eating mid spring break and haven't fully addressed since then. So now my wedding dress is tight. I have created my own crisis.

I have needed an unusual amount of sleep the last month, being tired also increases wanting to eat. Possible reasons:

1) decreased carbs with high physical activity

2) started gabapentin to prevent neuropathy flare on Rainier. Amazballs pain effectiveness. Is also used off label for anxiety and I think I can feel some of that as an added bonus. Any effect on sleep will wear off in next few weeks.

My uphill trainer's professional outside eyes have been helpful.

1) per him, most people's endurance training is hurt from carb restriction. (He saw my recent diet comments as he built the next 8 week plan) To paraphrase, except for genetic outliers, high endurance training (I giggle that he lumps me into that) decreases energy which decreases training effectiveness. Also, at a certain point of high volume endurance training (giggle), the training plan itself provides fat adaption -- dietary changes do not provide anything extra.

In case you missed the point, self sabotage! I had good in hand, but decreased carbs to increase fat adaption, which not only wasn't useful, but likely hurt my training. I have needed too much sleep to get some of my core work in the last few weeks. (I am SO PAINED to admit this).

2) The trainer was building my next 8 weeks before I had even started my Redwood trip but he knew it was coming up because it is all in the plan. He said that week would be a "monster" and therefor planned a quick turnaround rest week for the following week. That way, I would be ready for the final push for Rainier.

Self sabotage: That planned extra rest week was this last week. Instead of accepting good, My sabotage plan was to "make up" previously missed core work by doing extra on the rest week. In reality, I couldn't do that because I was too tired. (HA! he right!). Also, I deliberately did a steeper hike (with weight) than he planned on Wed and had a weird knee thing happen as I descended. (HA! And ouch!)

Looking back at Redwood week: He anticipated my Redwood hikes would have milage and knew the last 3 days included mountain hikes. In the end, my elevation gain was close to 11,000 feet, the best since I have been tracking.

So, he anticipated all of this and I could see from stats he was right. He is a professional and I am paying for his expertise. I could see best elevation gain, ever! With Weight! (Weight deliberately capitalized) Why didn't I just accept his advise? Why didn't I accept good?

(Ann, is elevation gain the only thing you don't track?)

I'm not sure why I frequently can't see the good in my personal efforts -- accept good as good. Someday, I will figure that out. I am getting closer.

Enjoy the day!

Shel

To me you are a goddess! I get winded on 5 flights of stairs. I am grumpy if I am chilled, my feet get damp, I am hungry, I need a nap. When on vacation, I take credit cards I don't need out of my already lean purse, because I want my cross body bag as light as possible. Your determination to push yourself to your absolute limit and then exceed it is a wonder. Plus be an attentive mother, spouse, professional. If you can't see it, the rest of us can.

And your kindness and attentiveness to this little community touches me deeply. You are flat out awesome.

What DD said.

11,000 ft?! I feel like Rocky at the top of the stairs at 1200!

Well, me too, at 1200. :)

JEEZ LOUISE!

Shel, you are a BEAST! 11K in three days (did I understand that right?) is a whole lotta up and down.

This business about scaring ourselves ...

Speaking purely about myself, I know that gearing up to have a new experience that I really, really, really want to have is always going to scare me. And that includes my recent three-month NOLA domiciling experience.

And there's always an anxiety cost (and often an associated comfort-eating cost) at one or more points in the expeirence when I shoulder that kind of challenge.

To be clear, I do NOT want to stop doing things that scare me, i.e., things I have never done and want to experience or learn how to do.

But I do want to find new ways to manage my pre- , mid- , and post-experience anxiety in ways other than over-eating.

This post (above) doesn't get me any closer to a "better way." But at least it states the problem more clearly than I have said it out loud in a long time.

Yes, that gain was primarily over 3 days. I would have accumulated something in the Redwoods...maybe several hundred feet, on the hikes that started in forest but looped thru ocean beach.

Totally agree that I like to be challenged, that ain't gonna change

After yesterday's scale fright, I thought I would just have protein shakes and water all day. Upon reflection (and wanting food), I decided that was "all or nothing" thinking (Newton's Cradle outside balls) and tried for a moderate/middle balls day instead. Not tracking or weighing, just no obviously poor choices like fast food or cake (both of which I had cravings for during the day). The scale dropped 2.8 pounds. Hooray for moderation!

Fergie and I met a guy and his son and lab at the park last night. The dogs wanted to say hi and tbe son had a soccer ball. Ferg LOVES soccer balls. He ran like I haven't seen him run in ages. And paid for it! It was a very slow, limpy walk home. I felt guilty as a momma for not stopping him, but he was experiencing so much joy, I didn't want to spoil it for him. I gave him an extra pain pill and this morning he seems okay. Ah, old dogs.

Today my friend is coming to stay with me again for work for a few days and I need to go to the grocery store.

Stay cool, Liz! I'm imagining that heat comes with humidity.

Ann, I love that article... "Unfortunately for us, there will come a moment when things snap back into focus. And that moment will build gradually and arrive suddenly, leaving us reeling." I seem to require the "moment" to cause me to act. I wish I could act without needing to reel first.

So glad you didn't do protein shakes because then you would have thought that was the key to success.

Also, reaching back to days ago, I thought it very funny when you called out clothed, later in the day, weigh-in's as uncivilized. Darned right.