02/26/19, Tuesday

Ha! That is just exactly what that Sonofa***** has been doing lately- except instead of squeezing, the rat is wielding somekind-o-icepick! (The ****).

Good morning,

Terrible day at work yesterday, and I did not weather every moment with good grace, I'm afraid.

I have typed a bunch of stuff this morning, then deleted, cuz I need to break my chain of ranting. Even if there is some truth to my laments, it does me no good ruminate.

DianeS, I googled 101 and Crescent City and I think (?) it has opened up? Our 101 also frequently has troubles. Mother Nature would like 101 to disappear.

May we all eat as our bodies prefer.

Shel

Just don't take the train! I was reading this morning there is a trainload of people stuck on an Amtrak train in the snow in Oregon. They've been there since Sunday.

I feel like all I do is rant about DH...

Weight 172

Groundhog Day on the Uterine Wars front. Going to the Gyn this afternoon. I find climbing a flight of stairs exhausting at this point and it sends my heart rate soaring. Enough is enough.

This morning I got what little blood I have left drawn for my thyroid tests. I'm so over medical **** of any sort!

Had a nice visit with my friend last night and made a yummy dinner. The highlight was this spinach recipe from Nom Nom Paleo. So delicious!! I did it with a 6oz bag of spinach and reduced everything else accordingly. More than enough for 2.

Have a good one everybody!

Let us know how you make out !

Thinking of you Cec - Hope they can sort it out

Im with you on the medical **** - lil over it myself at present - onwards and upwards huh x

Amen!

Was so nice to have a check in from Ann yesterday. My sympathies to all who are experiencing such hideous winter weather as we move into March! We were preparing for a heavy rain with severe winds. We have had a fair amount of wind, but far less rain than predicted, in my area at least.

I had a nice session with the shrink yesterday. It was productive because I was really able to solidify some thoughts about my eating life. I'm at the point in addiction recovery where I have gone through the denial process, I have accepted that I have a problem, but have yet to really embrace a solid action plan and carry it out. I am still easily swayed by my inner addictive voice and addictive rationale. My shrink pointed out that I am being pretty easy going about all this stuff right now. I am not being self critical, but rather an observer. I am who I am and am - definitely a work in progress.

Similar to what BB describes, I sometimes feel it is unfair - quite tragic really- that I have to work so hard to maintain my weight and eat non-addictively. What is still hard for me to embrace is that my unregulated eating is not normal when compared to the average, normal weighted Joe. I eat with an addict brain and an addict's appetite. Once I get started with the high sugar carbs, the physical component kicks in and I don't really have much control because my body and brain are screaming for another hit of sugar. It can take hours until the dopamine receptors are satiated and my blood sugar levels have evened out. It really is a hell of a trip. I really want so much to let it be true that normal people eat like I want to eat, but I know it isn't so.

Because of the level of my dependency on sugar I still feel unready and unwilling to fully give up carbs and sugar, but I'm doing my best to play with the idea. I do have all kinds of inner rationalizations to keep me eating refined carbs and I feel entitled to regular food funerals when I think about going low/no sugar. I am fascinated by my addictive process. However, I think the absolute best thing about what is going on is that I am not mad or angry or disappointed in myself. This is simply the way I am. I've spent so many years treating the secondary symptom (my weight). It's nice to be looking at the actual "illness" and to be slowly learning how to navigate that aspect of the issue rather than just the weight.

I took the time to make a solid food breakfast today: 1 jumbo egg, 2 Jimmy Dean Turkey sausage links, and a couple TBS of shredded Mexican blend cheese. I feel quite satisfied. Much more so than when I have a protein drink for breakfast. Something to note and keep in mind going forward. Eggs and animal protein is filling.

The Keto Quickstart author is a big proponent of animal protein. Was nice to read that my love of meat is not such a bad thing, after all, to her way of thinking. I can remember feeling so deprived on WW in the old days. 3 oz of meat with a anatomically normal stomach was such a hard thing to manage. I was ALWAYS hungry on WW. At least with VSG and protein forward eating I don't have that type of insane hunger. The only time I have that type of hunger is when I'm in a super heavy carb cycle and am not drinking adequate water.

My theme for today: Be tenacious: Hang on to my dreams. Know the change will come when it's meant to happen.

Greetings Winter Wonders

156 today. Down a half which is a wonder in itself. Chicken stir fry last night with garlic, sweet red peppers and almonds. Good and healthy. Nothing like chicken to make you feel full.

Jeepers Diane O and others caught in the winter vortex, can you catch a break? If our rain turned to snow we would be up to the rafters as it has rained continuously for days. Not much wind though. Low areas are flooded. I have to go through a couple of low spots to get to Scrabble today. Looking forward to the fire and hoping I don't have to turn around.

I saw a fallen redwood laying across a 101 exit ramp yesterday. It was uprooted. 3 hours later someone had sawed it up and moved it. Shel the 101 closed again to the north. Ferndale is blocked off by floods. So pay close attention to weather as your trip approaches.

BB you will have a great birthday party. Take lots of pictures. I have a friend whose mother staged great themed birthday parties for her. Like an Alice in Wonderland party where the kids all had to go down the rabbit hole. Bet you could get into this.

Well snacking is not a 4 letter word. But it does seem like most successfully slim people don't do a lot of it. Thats the French paradox truth - each meal is a fairly formal event, modest portions and no snack food. No eating in the car. Restaurants close in between meals and you can't eat dinner before 6.

Well I had better get organized. Scrabble awaits. Diane S