Monday, February 11, 2019

Weight 125.6, 9 pounds more than one year ago per MFP. grrrr... I know how to eat to keep full and what not to eat, but I'm not sticking to it. Need to get my head screwed on.

Maybe if I can finalize plans for Aruba I will be in the positive mood I need to get back on-board. My 3 year surgiversary is in 7.5 weeks and I'd like to be down at that point.

DD is here, so there will be a lot of going out, but that isn't my downfall: wine and subsequent carb eating are. So no wine (or whining) tonight! We are planning on going to the beach and to a beachside restaurant for dinner.

Have a munificent Monday!

182.2

Ok, freakin out. I have my ob visit tomorrow and I just looked up my previous weight from a month ago and it was 172!! Couple things--that scale weighs 2lbs. lighter, and I think I recall last time mentally noting that they put me down a pound lighter. Still--I figure to be up 8ish pounds. The panic going on in my head right now is UNREAL. Scary how quickly old thoughts come back. Like "maybe I can drink some magnesium citrate and trick the scale." How scary and dangerous is that??!!

Hoping maybe some is bad potty habits on vacay plus water retention. I suppose the best I can do today is drink a lotta watta. And maybe wear extra light clothing just to help ease the pain.

The wedding was really nice. the best part was being kind of cooped up with a lot of friends we haven't seen in ages. It's always interesting I go to a wedding and I like to think through it and without exception, I've always preferred mine--but isn't that JUST as it should be? The only thing I think I would've done differently would be to have paid for the extra hour at the venue, because in the grand scheme of things it wasn't much expense (felt like it then!!) and everyone was having such a good time when the music stopped. Then again, better to leave wishing there had been more!

Does anyone else feel more high maintenance about food since WLS? I used to be able to eat crappy food previously and not think about it. I had very few food preferences--I'd eat it all. Now I get pretty disappointed when I fill up space and/or calories with subpar food. I feel like I enjoy food less because of this. Well that's not totally true--some foods I really savor because I know I'm having just a few bites.

Weight 176.4 I ate A LOT yesterday. Must be early days Keto water loss. Only 0.2 more than before I left for my cruise and ate my body weight in Ben and Jerry's!

Today is a lazy morning and the trainer this afternoon. I was thinking about a strong feeling I had on the way back from my vacation. The thought of returning to training sounded terrible. Out of the blue I wanted to quit. I had taken 2 weeks off and my brain was telling me quite clearly that I was happier not doing it. I dreaded going back the next day and thought about trying to cancel. It was a bad feeling in my chest about going back. But I went. And I LIKED it. I liked how I felt during (even though it was hard). I liked how I felt having done it afterwards. I was kind of bummed I wasn't scheduled to go back for 5 days. And I wondered why it is that our brains lie to us with such conviction??? Because by last night, I was dreading today's appointment. And I'm dreading it now. And thinking it would feel better if I wasn't doing it. I know it's a lie. I know that during and after I'll feel great about it again. I wonder how long the lie will stay around? If it's anything like the lies my brain tells me about the joys of eating junk food, it'll probably be there forever.

Greetings Peace Seekers

156 today. Not at peace with that. 10 pounds more than a year ago and I can't seem to get it together. Like Liz, I do wine and peanuts and that's more than I need. I made a nice stir fry with chicken and veggies and almonds last night. So glad I bought a store roasted chicken. So useful. People here still have power outages from our little storm. I have a friend who is coming over to use the internet and maybe take a shower. People who live out in the woods still have outages and no clue when it's back. PG&E is so terrible.

Lots of errands and chores today. DH is on his way to the eye doctor. He is still unhappy with the cataract fix so they are going to do some other kind of test.

Lordy, within about 5 minutes this morning the phone rang, the dog threw up and the doorbell rang. Geez, first world problems.

Yeah I hear you Cecily about dreading the workout and then finding out its ok. I too dread such stuff but have learned the lesson over and over that once I get started its really not so bad. Theme for the day "Its really not that bad".

Dinner out with a friend tonight who is visiting from out of town. Two people are sleevers besides me in this group but overeating will occur. Why do I feel destined to overeat? (answer: because I want to).

Oh well, time for more coffee and to organize the days mission. Cheers all. Diane S

Liz, 9 pounds in 7 weeks is doable. It will be hard, though, because as you mention, it's not really about the food. It's the emotion behind the extra calorie consumption.

BB - relax, you have a baby coming. Your body knows what to do and is gaining with more ease for Noodle than it did with Nugget. Enjoy your pregnancy. The extra weight will come off when you get down to business AFTER the baby is born.

Diane O., I sure hope you are taking care of yourself today! I thought of two quotes I wanted to share with you. The first: As we gain confidence in ourselves, red flags are no longer red flags. They are dealbreakers. The second: Detachment doesn't mean that you don't care. It's not selfish to walk away and let someone make his own choices.

Oh, my goodness.... The scale is playing with me. LOL! I am now only .2 pounds away from the new decade and I am having to work for every single ounce that comes off right now. I am so, so grateful that it's not getting to me. I just keep plugging away.

I have decided I need to make some changes to my eating plan. The portions I am eating are too large to get the protein in I'm supposed to eat. I realized I'm uncomfortable after eating breakfast. So, I decided to adjust how I'm eating to see if it helps me feel less "throat full" - if that makes sense to any of you. I never feel full in my stomach anymore. It's always a feeling in my throat that I'm guessing is pressure on my esophageal sphincter. Anyway... today I switched it up to have a quick protein shake in the early morning (1 cup almond milk, 1 scoop protein powder, 1 TBS PB2) followed by a 1 egg omelet with 1 chopped up turkey sausage link and sautéed spinach and 1 TBS shredded cheese at 10:15. Lunch is around 11:45 to noon, so I'm hoping that's not too close together. If it is, I will have to come up with another timing strategy. Today will be a test run.

A former student who is now in middle school sent freshly baked chocolate chip cookies in for me with her mom. Oh boy.... So sweet, but damn.... Such bad timing... I will not eat cookies, I do not need cookies.... I will not eat cookies, I do not need cookies..... Sigh......

It snowed all day yesterday. It stopped by morning, but another 5-8 inches forecast, starting late tonight and into tomorrow afternoon. Sigh, this is where I live, so I have to stop letting this sap my will to function. I go to work, and then spend the rest of the evening at home. We do have theater tickets for Sunday and Wednesday, so that should shake me out of my funk. On a happier note, DH picked out a restaurant for Valentine's Day and made the reservation. He told me he checked the menu and it had many small plate options. I thought it all was very sweet and showed he is thinking about me.