Sunday, February 3, 2019 - Super Bowl!

Weight 123.6, calories 864. Yesterday was a beautiful day with lots of sun. I plan to sit by the pool again today as sun revives me. At least I'm not exhausted. I slept for about 10 hours last night and didn't even hear DH when he got up for the bathroom. Justice woke me at about 11:30 wanting to play for some reason, but it didn't "bite", so he went back to sleep.

DH was mostly speechless yesterday but not really nasty. But now he won't eat anything he thinks will be spicy. I made taco stuffed peppers which were fantastic and had about the lowest spice level possible with that kind of food (all mild). For some reason he has decided that it causes him diarrhea, but I only use very mild spices and when he has issues it isn't related. But he is stuck on this idea and is eating less and less of what I cook. So I bought him BLAH frozen dinners last night.

This afternoon we are going to a friends to watch the game and have chili. DH will be having one of his blah frozen dinners. I am not going to start cooking that way to satisfy his ridiculous notion. I hate cooking in the first place and if I can't cook something I like I really have no incentive to bother.

But for today: Sun, pool, dinner and game with friends. Have a Super Bowl Sunday! (Needless to say, I am cheering for the Pats)

Advice? SIL is a bright woman and dry the beginning of most days. However, I just confirmed she is drinking a large bottle (1.75 liters) of vodka a week (I was with her at the last two purchases). In fact it was at most one week, possibly only 6 days. That is the equivalent of 60 ounces and if there are 2 ounces of vodka per drink, she is drinking an average of 4-5 drinks a day, which is what I was guesstimating. If one assumes 4 ounces of tonic per drink, she is taking on an average of 745 calories in drinks per day.

I guess that is why she is eating so little! But no wonder she isn't looking healthy. She probably weighs about what I weigh at most, so if one assumes her maintenance calories are 1350 like mine that means she is taking in about 600 calories in food a day. But likely it is less than that because she has a lot less muscle and has lost some weight. Wow! That's like immediately post surgery (on the food calories).

Should I say anything or assume she is in denial? My mother (an even smarter woman but harder drinker) never wanted to hear it. She would get angry and only got dry when she set her own mind to it. Sort of like losing weight I guess. So I think I answered my own question???

Liz, I do understand your concern. But I've never had that conversation with anyone before.

I can only guess (and it's just a guess, not advice) that the outcome of a conversation like you are considering would depend on the moment, your SIL's openness to the topic and the degree of her own concerns about her drinking, and your intentions.

I hope others have better help for you.

Oh, boy! Sticky wicket, indeed. So, here's my take: When I drank too much I didn't want to hear it. I knew it. Becoming a non drinker came from deep within me. I wanted to not become a hardcore alcoholic like others in my family and I was well on my way. I drank every single day and it was hard to not drink - though I could. Like obesity, heavy drinking was accompanied by a lot of shame. I knew in my heart I would better off as a non drinker, so that's what I became. Wasn't easy, but it was certainly the right choice for me.

When my mother talked about her drinking, like me she knew it was too much, but she wanted it kept private and once even told me not to mention it to our family counselor. My aunt became defensive and MEAN if her drinking was ever questioned. I'm not sure how my uncle was, but I know his wife gave him the choice of his bottle and the door or to get clean and stay a family man. He chose to get sober.

Your SIL may not have any incentive to become sober. Senior alcoholism is high and most have no real incentive to get sober. They live lonely, solitary lives and booze is a comfort and a retreat and what was once a social habit for many of them becomes a necessity of daily life.

Several questions occurred to me: 1 - is her daily drinking affecting you negatively? 2 - Is she obviously crocked and incapacitated when she drinks in the evening? 3 - Is it the knowledge of HOW MUCH she drinks that is bothering you more than the fact that she drinks every day? 4 - How much do you need and value your friendship with your SIL right now? Talking to her about her drinking could strain your friendship for a while.

Lots to think about. Proceed with caution.

All great questions to analyze: 1) The only true negative is my annoyance which stems from being an adult child of an alcoholic. Plus my concern about her health (malnutrition, liver); 2) She is happy/chatty by the time I go to bed (early) - she has 1-2 more aftewards ("night caps"). So again more my reaction than anything else. 3) See my first answer; 4) I value her friendship a lot.

I think she is smart enough to know the ramifications of the drinking unless she is forgetting how much she has (but I doubt it). I'm back at thinking I should keep quiet. She does see a physician regularly so hopefully they will pick up health issues. She has said to my other SIL that it is okay that she doesn't eat much because she takes vitamins but of course it is the lack of protein that may be causing her lack of muscles.

I have enough to worry about with DH I guess. I need to quiet that little voice in my head and worry about my own stuff!

1. Within Range: yes
2. General Wellbeing: 9.5 on SS
3. 10,000+ Steps: 9387
4. Fitness: walking ; free weights
5. Self-Care: Monthly 90 minute massage
6. Play/Leisure: Reorganized Reiki/Yoga area and utilized
7. Intentions: Seek balance & live February like I'll live March.. relax, rejuvenate, & recalibrate !!

It was negative eight yesterday morning and reached fifteen. Today, it was 32 for the first cup of coffee and will get into the 40's, followed by 50's Monday and Tuesday. Next weekend, we should be back in the teens.

I have a different connection to the "all in the same boat" metaphor. I see ALL of us on the same journey, sometimes the same boat, but many times not. Cruise ships, sail boats, standing paddle boards, inner tubes, cabin cruisers, kayaks, pontoon boats, speed boats and even a well loved row boat missing an oar... the options are as varied as our everchanging needs. We freely move between these boats based upon each day as it unfolds. We explore, refine and share experiences, often making identifying daily needs and considering alternate applications of standard choices more precise , based on new insights.. Ann's "Imagining the wildest things I might do helps me see more possibilities."

Shel, I loved Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat, Pray Love, and reread portions often. Based upon your mention of The Artist's Way and Ann's back story, I ordered it for a little compart/contrast. Who knows maybe some of us will decide to form a cluster to move forward and explore... "so what does this mean to me ?" Hearing about your support of your daughter's activities activated positive memories. I especially loved the select music weekends! Ann your NOLA experiences are so inspiring !! I aspire to follow in your footsteps !! I thought of you when I bought mangos and plantains yesterday, and smile thinking of you, too ! Yes, let the good times roll ! Liz, YES, make plans for ARUBA !! Hopefully Paul will settle in, making your life less challenging until then. Lock your bathroom door, lady !! BB, so eager to hear how the rental property search is progressing. Loved the treadmill story, and the new directions you are exploring. Fortunately, you built a career with a skill set perfect for many exciting opportunities! Peps, I love that you are building a mental image of yourself that will exemplify all that is extraordinary about you !! The gap year consideration invites powerful connections to explore. I so love having a low land marsh kindred spirit ! Good on stopping the old tape and just ordering a healthy sandwich for delivery ! Diane, so glad to hear the new computer/printer set up fills the bill ! Yes, life is too short for mediocre coffee ! DD, viva St. Pete's, sun and warmth !! Bonnie 150, you said you had nothing of note to contribute... than is absolutely NOT TRUE, and never true for any of us. Major insights and growth are inspired by seemingly random and thoughts shared by compassionate others.

Weight: 135.8
Macros: Cals - 1,931, Carbs - 194, Fats - 71, Protein - 99, Fiber - 24
Sleep hours: 8 hours
Vegetable/Fruit Servings: 4
Water glasses: 2
Exercise: 5,500 steps
Meditation: Yes

And just look at those eight lovely hours of sleep! Apparently, I'm the recipient of a miracle to be sleeping so well night after night.

I think that yesterday's total calories were the lowest yet on a NOLA out-to-dinner night. That was mostly thanks to no dessert and only two alcoholic drinks - a Paloma (tequila and diet grapefruit soda, which was a new discovery for me) and a small glass of chardonnay. The restaurant (Casa Bodega) was authentically Mexican (not Tex-Mex), and the guitarist was indeed wonderful! I had Enchiladas de pollo con mole with the best, smokiest mole I've ever eaten. Happily, I brought two of the three enchiladas home with me and can enjoy them again mid-week.

Yesterday's workout, yoga, and hot tub soaks were just what the doctor ordered. I walked only 5,500 steps, but intended to cut back, since my left knee had started to complain. It was the right decision, because this morning my knee is happy again.

Today in NOLA, we're all attending the Boycott Bowl. And yes, we're terrible losers. And no, we don't care. Because we're in New Orleans. LOL!

Today's Theme: It's still the weekend!

Greetings Beach Goers

155.5 today. Guess my chili with two small tortillas was too much. It was a good dinner. Should have stopped at one.

You folks who have fled south have the right idea. I hope everyone in the deep freeze gets some escape. We have another drizzly day here. No snow here but a boatload of it is predicted for the Sierras.

Liz, so glad you had a good relaxing day and enough sleep. Repeat please. I guess if your DH wants boring frozen dinners then so be it. Hope you are still considering Aruba on your own. As to your SIL and drinking, that is indeed a tough one. If you do decide to talk to her, it should be from the point of view that you are concerned about her and care about her and want her to be around a long time. Not sure it will work but worth a shot. Ultimately the desire to change has to come from within her.

Ann, I had to look up the Boycott Bowl. What a good idea. We like the puppy bowl and are not enthused about the Super but will probably watch it. Final football fix of the year. The Mexican restaurant sounds great as does the Paloma.

DH is still pretty uncomfortable and still using pain pills. He goes back to the surgeon in a few weeks. I think he is just tired of being uncomfortable and has cabin fever but doesn't feel up to going out much. There doesn't seem to be much I can do for him except make homemade chili. Last night's was from a can.

Well I did get some of the kitchen table cleared and will finish today. The amount of junk mail we get is astonishing. Drowning in papers!

Well time for more coffee and a few chores before pregame hype starts. Cheers. Diane S

Isn't the junk mail staggering!? There will probably be a TON of it waiting for me in April when I pick it all up.

While I'm in NOLA, my buddies at the post office back home are storing all my junk mail in a box and forwarding my real mail down here.

Aren't small town post offices great!!! My brother lives in a ritzy part of L.A. and they won't even get a signature on a registered letter! d