Wednesday, January 30, 2019

Hello all,

DD and anyone else in the PV....I don't even know what to say about that epic cold except the obligatory "stay warm." I'm going to call my parents (in Iowa) in a few minutes. They know how to hunker down but unexpected things can pop up, right? DD, I am glad you and your DH got sick when you did, sort of.

BB, may those drapes be simply be beautiful in time, with no taint in your memory of how they came to be. (Your story reminds me how I have felt sometimes after buying a car.)

I want to clarify something I said about being depressed by patients' common need to tell me in detail about their food. It isn't that I don't GAF.....in fact, quite the opposite. I do care, because I believe in less meds and for an awful lot of people dropping 20-40 lbs would obliterate their need for blood pressure meds.

I'm depressed because despite such ACHING desire to lose weight, so few will. Or, if they do, it isn't sustained. And then, they have palpable self loathing when they fail to stick to some crazy-azz diet like it is some sort of moral failing. (I literally say, "you know, this doesn't mean you are a bad person.") It is very emotional and of course I personally relate a little too much.

And by diet, I mean Diet like the four letter word.....not what I see peeps (and Peps) on this board thoughtfully planning.

Before I meet someone for the first time, I look for hints in the chart of remarkable things patients have done in the past that have improved their health because 1) I want them to remember that they are remarkable and 2) I don't want them to backslide. This is almost always quitting smoking or activity things. Successful weight loss is much, MUCH rarer.

Anyhoo, on recently I met a man who lost 220 lbs over a few years without WLS. It was a 40 min appt and only about 2-3 minutes in total was spent on maintaining weight loss. He brought it up even before sitting.

He is a total member of our tribe tho I didn't tell him about me/us. He lost weight by changing his "mindset and behaviors." He travels a lot for work but doesn't gain weight because he "packs a kit" which is a cooler that contains his usual foods. He checks his routes for grocery stores so he can easily replenish.

He is amazed how the weight loss affected his earning capacity. "I now look the part" and business is booming. "I don't care what my clients think about what I eat." He doesn't "GAF" in restaurants when he orders a simple patty with salad with vinaigrette on the side (for example) "Any restaurant can do that." He is quite type A and I think part of his looking the part is not taking **** from anyone.

He also demonstrated a lot of self loathing in the appt not just related to his past size. His negative comments were so off-hand I doubt he saw them. I felt like I was looking into a mirror and surprised by a black wart on my nose that I have never noticed before. It made me question if I have every truly been successful at compartmentalizing own self loathing related to my weight issues. Probably not.

Mindset and behaviors -- not the four letter Diet. Be kind to yourself, your body is listening. Things to ponder.

Shel

Wow! What an interesting conversation that must have been with the dude who lost 200+ pounds. As a species, humans are so interesting / weird / unpredictable / miserable / fortunate / plucky / awesome / maddening / persistent / and everything else!

It's almost like we're several different species.

My personal species changes from day to day. I like "plucky." I am going to be plucky for the rest of the day. Maybe tomorrow, too.

I felt like inviting him to the forum as a guest speaker. In turn, we could teach him a little about self-grace, I think. That isn't something I had previously given this forum credit for. What if self-forgiveness part of the secret sauce to keeping weight off?

Ooooooh, I think self forgiveness is a very important ingredient in that secret sauce!

Me, too!

And I also vote for "Begin anew!"

I would totally unplug but cable is DH's main entertainment. He has little patience even for something like Netflix. So, we shall keep it. My hobbies cost money, too, so I can't really complain. (This is something I have to remind myself, because besides money, I HATE the whole cable milieu.)

136ish, can't remember if there was a . something after it or not this morning.

No exercise except for cleaning today. No work because of the bitter cold. We too are getting -50's with wind chill and called off all rehab appointments. Will go in for a 1/2 day tomorrow to try and play a little catch up. Only worked a 1/2 day on Monday too due to massive snow. This weather just plain sucks.

Funny that cable is a topic of conversation today and I just called this morning to downgrade our plan (local channels plus 10 other regular channels of our choice) and I am getting rid of 3 of the 4 DVR boxes we are renting and losing our land line phone. Should save me $100 bucks a month and I doubt we will miss much!

Life continues to be busy. Trying to figure out if/how long I might stay in my current rental home. DS#1 is moving out this weekend and DS#2 plans to move Summer/Fall. That leaves only DS#3 and I in a 5 bedroom house with 3 1/2 acres that I don't want to deal with. There has been some talk of moving in with Kevin in the Fall.....we shall see how all of that pans out. He has a 4 bedroom house but it is much still much smaller than what we have lived in the past 20+ years. I can't even imagine trying to combine all of our stuff. Of course there are many things we wouldn't need duplicates of. Together we have 8 beds, 10 tvs, 5 couches, 6 recliners, 3 love seats and probably 4 other living/family room chairs, 2 snow blowers and 2 gas grills and Lord knows what else! And we even downsized drastically before moving into this rental! Maybe the kids moving out will appreciate some hand me downs!

I try and read these boards several times per week but don't always feel I have much to contribute. Sorry about that! Miss you all!

I'm glad you checked in.....I'm not surprised to find you home! (I wish you were in Hawaii, instead.) I was hoping the boys would stay off the roads, too.

That is an amazing amount of surplus! You are right about those kids needing hand me downs as they move out into their own places. Do they even watch regular TV?

They rarely watch regular TV which is why I can easily take so many services away!

Liz,

My hubby and I unplugged from the cable as we cut back on unnecessary expenses saving for a new home and we have been using Philo TV and it is $16 a month and we get TNT, OWN, ID, Lifetime, Disney, Nick JR, hallmark , BET MTV, Food network and so many other channels. It is a TV app that you can download on your fires tick, smart TV, phone, roku device and several other devices. We LOVE IT and have not missed the $200+ bill from AT&T. Check them out.... www.philo.com. I think there are 21 channels you get all together