Friday, January 18, 2019

Hey, for restless legs there are over the counter pills - quinine - or you can drink quinine water. I used to find advil pretty helpful. Or they say eat a banana. I had this for a while years ago and then it went away. gl ds

Thanks, Diane! Something to try!

Just a suggestion: RLS can be triggered by low iron levels. Maybe check your iron levels or take a daily iron supplement to see if it helps.

I'm taking an iron supplement now per doctor. Hopefully, this will go away soon. Dr. appointment Tuesday. I will definitely be discussing treatments and options. I can't do this much longer!

No weight.

Diane O.-I'm so with you! But I do think I probably oversnack and have an unusual fear of hunger. I try to remind myself that it's okay. DH has started dieting again since the holidays and I can hear his poor tummy growling and I think "wow, he's okay with that!!"

Stephanie-hugs. I had some RLS toward the end of my last pregnancy and it's just such an icky, wirey feeling. Jazz band sounds nice. I think you're in OK too and there are some cool things going on with music, jazz in particular...tonight I think there's a 1920's style Jazz thing going on at the skirvin which sounded cool. FYI

Liz-glad your DH was social last night. Pool time sounds delicious.

So perhaps my theme today would be something along the lines of letting go or it's okay to let others down to hold yourself up.

I used to struggle to make friends and now I feel so responsible for my friendships...almost to a negative point. I feel guilty if I don't put my all into them...even if they don't give back to me! Well I think I may have a friendship that needs to go. They are just a lot of toxic negativity. And our attempts to try and help has only gotten us in the line of fire! Ex: We went to a mutual friend's birthday party right before Christmas. The wife went to the restroom and our mutual friend started commenting on what a good dad the husband is to his stepkids and how lucky they were to have him. Wife comes back from restroom and friend catches her up saying how she was just commenting on what a good stepdad the man is. (mind you, the mutual female friend and wife are like best friends, so it was coming from a good place). What happened next was the most bizarre thing I've ever seen, especially on the heels of such a nice sentiment. The wife WENT OFF, first asking "which kids are lucky?" (their kids together, or the stepkids), and then saying how he was lucky to have her, and she could do just fine without him. It was very awkward. My husband has a heart of gold and so when they both went to happy hour yesterday, my dear husband kept trying to tell them how good they were together, etc. Instead, he could only get in trouble from the wife. DH was told "that's just because your relationship is better than ours," or that I'm just too lenient with DH (HA!!! I laugh!!! People who know me know I'm pretty controlling!) Anyway, DH came home sad last night because he couldn't win for losing.

My first advice for him was to disengage, detach, at least for now. I know he was trying to help, but clearly he was making matters worse. But secondly, AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT!!! I feel so bad and responsible for feeling that way, and of course I want to be an ear or a shoulder for my friends. But the more I thought about it, I'm not a dumping ground. I don't need their insecurities to rub off on me. And I realize more and more that I did that for so long...maybe thinking I didn't deserve better? Feeling guilty for not just being there for people who, you know, probably wouldn't do the same for me. Hmmmmm. How many of us do that?! Bingo light for me.

One good thing to come out of last night is that DH came home and was extremely appreciative of me :)

Tonight DH and I are going to a charity event and I'm excited!! I ordered a few maternity gowns but I think I'll try to wear one of my non-maternity ones and let it stretch over the bump! They are so much more flattering (and cost nothing!). This weekend was originally going to be very low key, but is turning out to be jam-packed. Tonight is the gala, tomorrow is brunch with friends, two more friends are coming to dinner, then Sunday is a going away party for friends and possibly dinner with stepkids or watching NFL with more friends...or napping...ha!

Once again, my theme today is it's okay to do what's best for you. I give you permission

BB, I like your theme for the day. I'm gonna do it. :)

Re your friend and her issues ... now that I'm officially old I have a No Drama Rule. I don't feel a need to correct someone who's generating drama and tension. I just walk away. And when invited to spend more time in that person's presence, I just say "No, thank you. I have another engagement that night."

But if pressed and asked, "Why don't you want to spend time with me anymore?" I say, "Honestly, I've found I don't enjoy your company so much lately." Then in response to "Why not?" I say, "These days, I find you more combative [or argumentative or rude, or in a bad mood, etc.], and I want to spend my limited time to socialize with folks who are congenial."

Sounds tough, doesn't it? It actually is tough -- to say, that is.

BB, good for you! You don't have the time and energy for "friends" like this. I let a similar "friend" suck me dry about 15 years ago and didn't disengage until my kids got pulled into it (not good). There was nothing I could do to help her be more happy - I don't think she even wanted to be.

Ann, our local swimming team is called the Natadors...

Clever!!

Agree so, so much with cutting loose toxic people. And overly needy people too. Sometimes people really merit extra attention and help because stuff happens. And I'm pretty loyal, and I thin compassionate. When you push me too far though, I'm done. D.o.n.e. You have your toxics and then some people are emotional vampires. I've noticed that when I set boundaries with the vampires and the toxic ones, they usually drift away on their own, because I'm not playing the role they want me to. Although Anne's approach sounds effective too.