01/16/2019, Hump Day Wednesday

1. Within Range: yes
2. General Wellbeing: 8 on SS
3. 10,000+ Steps: 6211
4. Fitness: walking
5. Self-Care: increase water intake and decrease wine
6. Play/Leisure:
7. Intentions: Manifest daily fitness goals. Seek balance.

My two hour online class was yesterday. My mind kept wandering and I was wishing I was in French class ! I took four years in high school and LOVED it ! Ann, I can just picture your day... thanks for the vivid descriptions ! Cecily, I LOVE your abandoned path ! Such beautiful exercise so close to home. I have lots of opportunities here. I need to view them through the eyes of others, and appreciate what I have more. Diane, hope DH has answers soon. Liz, glad to hear Paul is doing better. Peps, loved your share about your productive session. I think Ron and DC are a lot alike... they certainly have the potential to push some of the same buttons ! Your therapist sounds very perceptive. Shel.. love your Dr ! No scuba ! Hello !! Perhaps your DH could join Ron and DC, those button pushers ! BB..Orlando ! Go for it !! DD, taking a gap year is so smart ! I couldn't agree more about the immersion approach. That's kind of like how I began maintenance... jump in with both feet, and learn as you go !!

Weight: 134.4
Macros: Calories - 1,777, Carbs - 131, Fats - 78, Protein - 111, Fiber - 26
Sleep hours: 6
Vegetable/Fruit Servings: 7
Water glasses: 3
Exercise: 10,300 steps
Meditation: Yes

Again, yesterday I consumed more calories than I had planned, due to a dinner invitation last night at some friends' home. We ate fish and many vegetables, and the food was extraordinarily healthy, but a little dark chocolate made an appearance at the meal's end. Also, I must recalibrate my recent overindulgence in bedtime cheese and crackers.

Yesterday's healthy behaviors included: delicious, healthy food; more than 10K steps (albeit without a walk in the park, due to busy day and cold winds); an excellent midday yoga class; and a late afternoon visit to a wonderful gym (see below).

Ah, the gym: It's magnificent and part of Uptown's loveliest independent living community (one I could NEVER afford to live in). But since I'm over 62 and live in the neighborhood, for only $65/month I can use over 12,000 square feet of the gym, a large mirrored exercise room, a heated pool, a meditation room, a café, and other fitness facilities, including two full-time trainers, a LOT of weights and machines, yoga classes, and Aquarobics classes. What a deal! I'm joining today.

Today will be sunny and a little warmer, so it's back to Audubon Park for me. Then I'll do a midday yoga class.

I'm happy to have no dinner invitation tonight. I could also use a long night's sleep.

By the way, this morning I read an excellent New York Times op-ed about life for women in our seventies. The kicker headline reads: "Many of us have learned that happiness is a skill and a choice."

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/01/12/opinion/sunday/women-olde r-happiness.html

Today's theme: I am so very grateful for so many blessings.

Weight 122.6, calories 800. I made vegetarian chili yesterday and it was good!

We took a dog friendly walk through woods and mangroves yesterday. Both DH and Justice slept well. Today is burger by the pool day and an Alzheimer's Caregivers Support group. DH's friend may also come for dinner (Leftover chili - he is an easy friend).

This audio program was done with some people who work with the support group we work with on Cape Cod. We attend meetings in Falmouth and Hyannis, but these people are from the Mashpee group just one town over. The loneliness and quiet they talk about is very similar to what it is like at our house: http://transom.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/Rearranging-Th e-Numbers.mp3?_=3

Have a walking Wednesday!

Weight: 175.8

Uh oh I think I'm starting to fall into a weird place. Maybe not a "dark" place necessarily, but a discontented, restless place and I don't like it!!! This is no way to start off my "be present" year!

I feel so many things all at once, and many conflicting. Do you mind if I share? I find writing to be pretty therapeutic (for awhile...at some point I must take action). To some extent, I think this is a seasonal thing. We made it through another year, another budget. All the big things got done. I guess DH starting again at a new job is also a little anxiety-inducing (though so much better than no job! Or commuting!!) And while it's so exciting to start anew, it also feels a little futile sometimes. I also look at this upcoming year and worry I cannot/will not get done what I want to do. This first half of the year is me being pregnant and having a small child. The second half is me having a small child and an infant! And don't get me wrong, I'm incredibly grateful. But I also can't help but feel I'm missing out on a lot of things friends are doing--from travels to hanging out to 5k races, etc.

I also feel a lot of uncertainty about my future. I know I sound like a broken record! I really feel like I'm at a fork in the road. I'm finally coming to the conclusion that I cannot have it all. And I'm starting to slowly work toward being okay with that. Ugh adulting is hard. I cannot do all the mom stuff I want to do and reach all the professional milestones. Something will have to give. And that's okay. It's called prioritizing. If only some options were great and some were terrible. I'm still not entirely convinced which option I will choose--and like Liz has said I think I will probably have to keep my toe somewhat in both. I went to the swearing in of a female chief justice of our state's supreme court yesterday. She is someone I know and have worked with and I am so incredibly proud of her and other women who have paved my way (btw...I think Ann mentioned "On the Basis of Sex" about RBG and I soooooo wanna go see it!!). I feel very privileged to have had examples of strong intelligent women, like my mother, when they didn't even have that example for themselves. I listened to this chief justice's list of accolades yesterday and was so inspired. ...And then I picked my daughter up and heard how she cried for an hour after I left. And to make matters worse, I only got to see her for the car ride because I then had a board meeting to attend and she was asleep by the time I got home. And tonight I won't pick her up until bedtime because I have a professional dinner. Ugh ugh ugh.

But I also worry about losing myself to my children--something I don't want to do for their sake or mine. Some of these things I understand are concessions we make when our children are young. And I'm perfectly happy to make them. But I do see some women totally lose themselves in everything their children do and it makes me sad. Honestly, I still have trouble adjusting to not being #1 and I've only had to share the podium for 10 months! Of course I can still do things but it's not as easy as it was when I was childfree. I'm so inspired by those of you learning new crafts, languages, etc. I think my husband and I both really thrive off of people and new experiences and creative outlets and that's really lacking right now. That's probably the whole of my problem!! And I don't know the solution! I think I will sign up for a digital camera class to learn how to properly use my fancy schmancy camera (which currently takes pictures not even as good as my phone because I don't know how!!). Maybe a new podcast in the car to inspire.

And lastly, weight. I was about 7lbs. lighter this point last time, which isn't so bad considering I started about 9lbs. heavier. But I'm feeling so much bigger! And hungrier! I have so many friends investing in healthier lifestyles around the New Year and I'm feeling lost. I probably should try to give myself some parameters, but it's so hard trusting myself with food! It feels like either all or nothing. Right now I pretty much allow myself what I want. But that seems to be a very bad strategy. On the other hand, how can I limit what I eat right now in pregnancy? I just don't know what is okay.

Weight 179.2 grrr

After the 8 mile hike yesterday I ended up walking nearly 11 miles for the day with my Apple watch showing over 1200 calories burned and gained nearly a pound to show for it. Argh! There was that movie popcorn... sigh.

Mary Queen of Scots was great. What a brutal time to be alive, let alone a woman, let alone a queen!

It's still raining here. I think it's been years if not a decade since I remember this many days of rain in a row here. I love it.

Therapy, trainer and Pilates today in that order. With rainy dog walks in and amongst.

Gotta go shower. Happy Wednesday all!

Greetings Insightful Ones

What a slew of good posts these past few days. 154.5 for me today. Shrimp and cherry tomatoes for dinner. I did heat them in lemon butter. And ate the last two squares of the contraband Ghiradeli chocolate. All gone.

Peps glad you had a good therapy session. I was asking myself the same questions you were asked. Therapy by being an audience. But I so remember the days of having a bad day at work and heading straight for Target for M and M's. Intense emotions seem to make us all want to eat. I can also relate to spending my life trying to fix myself. Wish I could get one of those gigantic granite egos some of my law partners used to have. But then I would be an asshole. Gotta be a middle ground.

French class sounds so fun Ann. Do you have homework? I took years and years of French lessons - so much that I should be fluent. I have a feel for the language but not enough vocabulary. Immersion sounds like the best thing DD. Maybe live in France?

Yesterday was spent playing Scrabble by the fire. I got my azz handed to me. These people are so good. Fortunately good natured and liberal use of the dictionary. A pleasant day. Even got a short dog walk in.

Still no work from DH's doctors on the scan. Surgery is Friday and we still don't know for what. I am predicting it will be the hernia as the GB seems to have subsided. So ridiculous.

Gallery payroll today which has to be later as DH has lunch out and I can't stand to drive the old car anymore.

BB doesn't seem like your life could get any busier yet its about too. Any support groups for working young mothers around? Seems like there should be such a thing. Probably books too. My mother did it all but she was a person of extraordinary energy and drive. You will find your balance.

Thats about it. Have to pre clean for the cleaning lady and do laundry. But first, you know what.. Diane S

PS such a cool walking trail Cecily. You are so lucky. Ours are muddy now. And Shel, sorry DD has the asthma but glad the doctor said no way. Seems like the right answer.

You sound so much more chipper today, Diane! Glad to hear it. That shrimp with cherry tomatoes sounds awesome!

Diane, yes, I'll have homework, but none was assigned on Tuesday. :)

Good Morning All - Drove back to our city house last night - arriving after dark. Worked at farm after I finished my day job. It was stiflingly hot - with temps sitting around 110. Dont get me wrong I dont mind heat but when you get those sorts of temps day after day it starts to zap your energy. We did a huge water and I cleaned the house and shed. Packed stuff away. Left farm at around 6pm arriving home at 9.30pm.

Been a productive morning, have been and checked the post box and called into supermarket for some dinner inspiration. I am going to do a corned silverside in the slow cooker and serve it with our freshly made cherry sauce and veggies. DS is home this week and is currently out doing the lawns for me as we are expecting rain this afternoon. I am in wash mode - just washed all Bellas soft toys and starting on the dog beds. They will all be bathed this afternoon - want her clean prior to going in for surgery tommorrow. Drop her at 8.30am and collect her at 5.30pm so they can keep the fluids up as long as possible.

Booked flights for my best friend and I to go to Singapore on 25/5. So excited. Been looking at accomodation and discussing what she would like to do. We are both pretty similar in our wants etc so the agenda is looking like High Tea (we both wanted Raffles but its closed till August for renovations) a singaporean cooking class and a few pottery places/exhibitions - she is an amazing potter. Plus spending great time with our family friend. All very exciting. Need to get accomodation all organised and paid for then will start saving for spending $$.

Well I will pop back later and catch up on what you special people have been up too. Keep smiling

Shirley

Shirl, I'm getting excited about the trip to Singapore with your friend. I know you'll send details, so that will be fun. I think it's great she and you are able to go off together like "the good old days." So exciting. :)