01/14/2019, Monday

It is such a fun show!

Good Morning - sweltering over here still with temps going to reach over 107 again today and worst tommorrow.....

Productive day yesterday after some amazing news. My best friend with the autistic twins has managed to pull enough support together to allow me to take her to Singapore for a week as her 50th birthday gift. I literally cried tears of joy. Planning for end of May for a week. We travelled the world together for a year when we where 21 and she hasnt been overseas since. We chatted lots yesterday about what she would like to do and I started looking for accomodation etc. Im hoping to book the flights (my gift to her) today once I hear back from our family friend who we will visit.

More time in the kitchen - DH and I made 11 jars of Cherry Sauce and stewed over 5 kilos of cherries - they are all in the freezer now. I cleaned up and he then went and graded the dam wall so I dont have to reverse the fire trailer up it anymore YAY! That will make life much easier indeed. He finally finished at 10pm and I had fallen asleep on the bed - oops

Today I need to go into town and get my registration sorted for MG - DH automatically lifted his keys yesterday and he had the farm ute so I had no wheels. Then we will make Cherry Jam and Plum n Raspberry Jam too. Due to a change in DH work schedule AGAIN we will now head back to the city late tommorrow night - after we do all the waters. I cant keep up with the constant changes - everything goes in my diary in pencil

Well I best go make a start on the day - hope you all have a wonderful evening

Shirley :)

By your post I am reminded of the hot summers in the California Central Valley canning fruit and jams and stewed tomatoes at my Granny's. I was always thankful that most of the canning work was done by midday and the cooler could work in earnest during the hottest part of the day!

Wonderful memories I bet Peps :)

Yes we tend to sit inside after work with the air conditioner on - doing fruit or jams till it cools enough outside to go water or another of the many farm tasks that need doing.

Else its up super early and out mowing from first light - good thing about having neighbours so far away - you dont bother anyone :)

Who Dat? I watched the video. Since I am not a football fan, I found it sort of silly. However, I sure did like the one group, Trombone Shorty! Great sound!

My mood has improved simply because I got tired of feeling poopy and insisted I snap out of it. A little mind over mood work. I know from what the mild depression stemmed, so I don't feel like I have shoved it under the rug. I will talk with the shrink today about it, too.

I mentioned in October that I had never had Pink Eye (conjunctivitis) before. Well, when it rains, it pours. I woke up on Friday thinking I had scratched my eye lid. By Saturday morning it was clear that I was gifted once again with Pink Eye. By Saturday night the right eye was affected, too. Luckily, I have drops left over from the October infection. Trying to treat with left over antibiotic drops. If it's not gone by Wednesday, I will go in and see my doc.

As for weight... I am struck by the dedication to some of you have in keeping obesity at bay. It is something I admire greatly. I do not have that intensity internalized. Instead, I continually find myself in "relapse" for lack of a better phrase. At times I still get miffed or disappointed with myself for gaining so much weight back after WLS. Yet, I can forgive myself, too, because I know how dysfunctional my approach to WLS was. Even though I took it very seriously, I know now that deep down I viewed WLS like a magic answer. I am a work in progress.

Food so far today has been reasonable. Not perfect, but okay. A far cry from last week's downward spiral into a sack of sugar.

In Soul Shoppe today the talk focused on negative self talk. The instructor was telling the students how that voice playing the negative tape wasn't their real voice. It is a voice they heard from somewhere, but it's not really their own voice. Their own real voice would never be so unkind. Boy, did I take that message resonate with me.

Sometimes talking it out with my therapist helps me get back on track nutritionally. I may actually work with a nutritionist again for some accountability. Something to consider. However, my balking is not only the expense, but the belief that I SHOULD be able to manage this on my own. I have the knowledge.... Blah, blah, blah....

Have to say, too, that you ladies are such wonderful inspiration. I aspire to be more like you!

Devon, big smooches to you all over your face and head and hands. xoxoxoxoxoxo

I had never heard of Soul Shoppe until you mentioned them above, so I googled the term. It sounds like a wonderful program for both elementary school students and their elders. I love how the instructor characterized our internal tapes. I'm going to use that imagery going forward. :)

Who Dat?!

Here's me keeping obesity at bay: sitting in my car in the grocery store parking lot after my workout tonight with my purse and reusable bag in my hand arguing with myself about the wisdom of buying the damn french bread. Then a third voice in my head chimed in and offered the suggestion of fresh cookies or cake or ice cream to go with the bread. Nothing about the plan was healthy and by some miracle I started the car again and drove home with two upset voices in my head and one very quiet, slightly smug voice thinking it won, but knowing it was only one small battle and not the end of the war. The struggle is real.

But every battle won brings you one step closer to the end of the ?War?.

Today you won a very important battle!

Congratulations!

Everything I know about "lifestyle changes" and "building healthier habits" tells me that fighting and winning those battles are what it takes to win the war. Battles won and won consistently are necessary.

Is it easy? Not for me.

Am I still fighting each battle, whether I win or lose? Hell, yes.

"Their own real voice would never be so unkind". May we all remember that when our negative head tapes are playing!