Tuesday, January 8, 2019

I think we would benefit from a lot of good traits that dogs have: exercising, not holding a grudge, unbounded joy in many things...

Weight down a tad (.5 lbs) to 252.9. I'll take it. Need to focus on more water today. Water seems to be more and more an issue lately.

I wonder how many obese or formerly obese people have codependency issues. It would not surprise me, if many of us do. I know that when Ron is in a funk, my first inclination is to "fix it". It has taken me years to create boundaries for myself to keep me focused on my self-care rather than fixing Ron's feelings. Self-care is still definitely something that must remain a focus of my intentions.

My main intention (in addition to the weight/food thing) for the upcoming months is to be more productive rather than procrastinatory in my personal and professional lives. To do this I am going to make lists. I have spent many months, if not a complete year, being rather lackadaisical about finances, household and classroom clerical responsibilities and general orderliness. I know I am a busy person, so I give myself some leeway, but I really do need to get better attending to the details of my life.

I know there are websites devoted to helping people like me get a bit more organized. I will have to Google and see what I find. Suggestions are always welcome. For now, I will make lists.

I believe I want some afternoon coffee! Odd that. Anyhow, lots swirling about in my mind today.

My theme for the day: Passivity is the enemy of change.

Devon, I do think codependency is common to many people who become obese.

I also think that many cultural and family values encourage and even require codependency.

In fact, I'm thinking right now of codependent behaviors encouraged / required of girls and women in their caregiver roles as daughters, wives and mothers.

Your post sent me in search of more information about codependency. Here's a basic but excellent article: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/anxiety-zen/201609/6 -signs-codependent-relationship Boy, does that "parentified child" term resonate with me!

Wow:

"Growing up with an unreliable or unavailable parent means taking on the role of caretaker and/or enabler. A child in this situation puts the parent's needs first. Dysfunctional families do not acknowledge that problems exist. As a result, its members repress emotions and disregard their own needs to focus on the needs of the unavailable parent(s). When the "parentified" child becomes an adult, he or she repeats the same dynamic in their adult relationships.

Resentment builds when you don't recognize your own needs and wants."

I am an adult child of an alcoholic mother who was completely out of it in my teen years...

Weight: 173

Wonder if it'll shoot up before weigh in tomorrow. OH I don't even care any more. I'm doing okay and there will be pleeeenty of time for that after June!

Plus...I get to see baby tomorrow!

Well I hope all of you had a better morning than I did! Becca was "stirring" a lot more last night. Not really crying, just some whimpers for a few minutes before going back to bed. She's such a good sleeper and I didn't really want to disrupt that, so I allowed her to self soothe back to sleep a couple times. But normally she doesn't really stir too much at all, but one hears of regressions, etc. Then she woke up at 5:30 ready to go, but that always makes for a bad day for her so again, I allowed her to put herself back to sleep (no crying, just some standing, fussing, back to sleep). WELL. I felt sooooo bad. I finally went to get her up around 6:45, turn on the light and she starts crying and I discover she's covered in vomit. Who knows how long. I feel awful. She's been kind of puny today and very lethargic (according to babysitter) and cried for me and that just tugs at my heartstrings. Really wanted to cuddle her today.

Can't believe that football game turned out how it did. Idk what to think about OU now. In fairness, I think OU kind of revealed Alabama in the last 3 quarters, but OU had dug themselves too much of a hole. Clearly Clemson was king. I only made it through the first half, but Alabama didn't score again after that!

Tonight, depending on how baby bear is feeling, I plan to cook pork tenderloin and roast butternut squash and brussels sprouts. Veggies and fruit sound soooo good (well, everything honestly). I wonder if I am in chronic need of more vitamins.

turning colder again tomorrow.

Oh Peps I love you intentions. I feel exactly the same way. I have such goals but I feel like I never put enough action into them. Lists definitely help. But I also have to be careful to make sure my listing is a means to an end. Because I can get so caught up in this fantasy world of planning a dreamland and for this perfectionist it means spending more time planning the perfect plan than every actually doing ANYTHING. Oh boy you could go back through years of my perfect diet meal plans! Ha! I swear I probably have 5 years of diet meal plans that would've worked and were beautiful...but tomorrow never comes.

Of course my own intention of being present or "be" as Ann says, is a strange place to be with being such a planner and honestly needing to plan with the hectic life and lofty goals (not to mention baby). How can I plan but leave room to flow? And also not be disappointed when things don't go according to plan?

I need more rigidity in my life. But I simultaneously need more flexibility. Will have to just keep working on it, I suppose.

Diane S.-so sorry to hear about hubby. Hopefully not the kidney stones! DH had several before he knew me and says pain equates to what he imagines childbirth to be like!! Ow! (actually, not bad with an epidural haha)

I think many pregnancy cravings are just your body instinctively knowing what your growing baby needs.

Tai Chi routine: 2/5

Sugar Abstinence: 2/5

Vitamin intake: 2/5

I can't believe how much making this daily post prompts me to meet these intentions. Thanks for being my witnesses.