12/20/18, Thursday

Thanks, Diamond!

That is a beautiful scene!

Ann-so glad and relieved you posted. I'm so sorry you're in a bit of a setback right now. But you are entitled to have an off day or two! I think your therapists words could do us all some good.

Weight: 171.2

Got Becca's shopping done last night! So almost done on shopping except would like to pick up a clothing item or two for Rich.

DH finally checked in on his work's daycare--maybe this is oversharing but I about fell over to find out it's $300/WEEK for one newborn. Usually 1+ is a little less--but I'm still expecting that to be $280 or $290!! So for the great price of $2400/month, you too can leave your two little babies in daycare. OUr church daycare is more reasonable but still pricey. Ugh. Pit in my stomach. I guess at least no matter what it doesn't last too long.

Speaking of Becca, she still has a cough that is wheezy deep in her chest. DH gave her a steam shower last night hoping that would help her. I HATE seeing my child wheezing--and I'm a terrible asthmatic so I can't help but wonder/worry if this is more than a cold.

DH has insisted on watching It's a Wonderful Life tonight. I have to admit, as "Capracorn" as it is, I love that movie. It puts me in the right mood for Christmas. Do you guys like it? I recently heard someone call out George Bailey as being unlikeable and whiney. But I think that's why it's relatable. Haven't we all had those moments where we cannot seem to see all of our blessings? That life just overwhelms us? I know I have and I sure wish I had a Clarence there to cheer me up :)

Perennial favorites- It's a Wonderful Life, Scrooge (195? Alistar Simms), A Muppett Christmas Carol, The Snowman, and TV's Rudolph with Burl Ives! Bring 'em on!

My favorite Christmas Carol is Scrooge, the musical version with Albert Finney!

Hell, no! George Bailey is completely relatable! The specifics of his disappointments, frustration, anxiety, fury, and other stressors don't have to be identical to others' for almost everyone (except those idiots who think he was "not relatable") to identify with how it feels to be at the very end of your rope and lose sight of the bigger picture.

Heck, George wasn't even a perfectionist. He just hit the wall after years of too many disappointments.

I like Its a Wonderful Life, But DH loves it so we watch it every year. He said that Jimmy Stewart reminded him of his father. My preferred holiday movie is White Christmas. I always cry when they sing at the end. BTW, my ringtone on my phone this time of year is White Christmas.

I was feeling shocked at adult daycare prices, but I guess they aren't so much higher than infant daycare. Wow!

One more thing.

On food. (because if you can't post about food struggles here, where can you?)

I've had a much heartier appetite in pregnancy. Sometimes it concerns me I can eat so much.

And because I'm so hungry, and because this time of year there is always some kind of sugar at arm's reach, I've eaten a lot of sugar. Y'all. Yesterday I got a little box of chocolate covered peanut patties. Probably 10. I just finished them all. I am actually relieved they aren't here to taunt me any more. For some reason I have no self-control with these things at the office. It's like I'm in a little cage and if it's here I can eat it. I'm much more deliberate at home.

I also had the oddest craving. I passed a Mazzio's pizza the other day. And I wanted their lunch buffet. Very specifically. If you should know a second thing about me (besides the fact I hate change), it should be that I hate buffets. Even when I was heavy. Typically even fancy buffets. Idk if it's psychological or what, but the idea that I can go back and get more of anything diminishes the value of the food to me...and let's be honest, it probably dimishes the quality of the actual food, too. But that's beside the point. I wanted it. And I woke up yesterday morning thinking of nothing but it. Luckily I was able to convince my very sweet sister to go with me (she got a side order of buffalo wings, smart girl). And actually it really satisfied my craving. I had the salad bar and two half slices of pizza. So I didn't go totally overboard. But I guess sometimes you need to indulge your cravings? Or at least get to the bottom of them and treat the issue?

Very odd cravings. Day before it was tuna salad. I HAD to have a tunafish sandwich. And today I was very hungry after lunch and quite content with my veggie burger (bunless) with mustard and raw veggies with ranch dip. Weird. No rhyme or reason.

Oh the Christmas treadmill, I've slowly started to pull back on a few traditions, and no one has called me out too much. Until I mentioned to my husband I didn't feel like making the weenies wrapped in bacon and brown sugar. His response, can you show me how you do one, and I'll make them? Say what, had sweet freedom from weenie wrapping been available all along? I thought about why I didn't want to make them. Because I didn't want to sit in the kitchen Christmas Eve morning again, by myself, while everyone else slept or read, or watched a movie. But now I'm kind of looking forward to sitting with DH while we wrap weenies together. Perhaps a new tradition is born.

"Say what, had sweet freedom from weenie wrapping been available all along?"

Haha!!