11/23/18, Friday

Hey I am serious. Plus you could be seen walking about wearing a Dracula cape and packing heat. What an image. A cape or very full coat would be useful. Tee tee T-Rx. Godzilla suit would work too. ds

MORE good ideas! I actually have a full-length black hooded cape. Hmmm ....

Good evening my dear friends! Weight was 134 or 135 something - in the 133-135 range I have been hovering in. Have almost 14,000 steps in so far today.

Thanksgiving Holiday was fine....the week leading up to it not so much. Lots of feels to feel. Met Kevin's daughter for the first time Wednesday...it was horrible. Still is. Dinner plans got cancelled for tonight because she is a crying mess and he needed to tend to her. She isn't dealing with him moving on well at all. At least he didn't have 2 crying messes to deal with like he did on Wednesday.....poor guy. Right now he is between a rock and a hard place trying to please the 2 ladies in his life. I'm trying my best to give grace and space as needed but my fragile emotions need some tending to as well!

I peek in here and there but feel like I've missed so much. I hope to get back here on a more regular basis once/if life settles down a bit.

My boys are all doing fairly well. DS#1's job is going well and we have plans for him to move out by Feb. 1st. DS#2 is enjoying school, will take a trip to Europe over Christmas break and is in a fun new relationship with his first boyfriend. DS#3 is done with football and started powerlifting a few days later. Has already gained about 10 lbs. in muscle weight. The kid is huge. He should be getting his driver's license in January - yay! Even he has a girlfriend!

Love to you all!

It's good to hear your voice, Paula. We have missed you. I think of you often.

BTW, I saw your FB post about the tough "first year" after a spouse's death. I truly understand.

My husband and I shared a birthday, and that's coming up in a couple of weeks. That will be tougher for me than the other "firsts" I've survived this year: first date, wedding anniversary, Thanksgiving. I still miss him so very much. Although I don't talk about his passing much anymore here, I know that no matter which directions my life takes that I won't ever "get over" the loss of him or us. He was my true love.

I'm sorry that Kevin's daughter is having so much difficulty with your and her father's relationship. I wish I had some insights or advice to offer, but I don't, although I know from my siblings (and from observing my 14 nieces and nephews) that teens and young adults don't seem to have much resilience when dealing with significant change. Perhaps those who are parents here will have some good counsel for you on this front.

Mostly, I'm just glad to hear from you.

Ann

Thanks Ann!

I'm afraid I can't help on Kevin's situation as the only loss of a parent that I experienced was my Father when I was 12 but my mother never dated again. I do know how firsts feel after a loss. The worst for me after my oldest died was leading up to her birthday feeling that I should be getting her a gift. On the day itself it felt like the aftermath of total world destruction and I sat on her grave and cried for a long time (so my other children wouldn't see me fall apart). Christmas that year was devastating as well. In fact it is only in the last few years that I have begun to enjoy Christmas music again.

Paula, I struggled mightily when my Dad met someone new after my mom died. I cried a lot. It hadn't been long since my mom was gone and I thought my Dad was moving too fast. And I found her really hard to talk to. Fast forward 5 years and we get along great now and have found common ground. I just needed time to get used to it and to realize she wasn't the nightmare I feared.

Oy vey! What a day I've had today! On the go, go, go! 9:30 dog client, 11:30 training session (my first personalized boot camp), 1:30 grooming #2, 4:30 A Star is Born.... finally home around 7:30, fed dogs, got us dinner (left overs), watched a little TV and now here I am.

Ate whatever the hell I wanted yesterday once I got to my SIL's house, which was actually a whole lot less than I expected I would have wanted to eat. I few bites of this and that was quite enough. I, of course, was most interested in the pies and the burnt caramel bundt cake decorated with fresh RIPE strawberries. Not gonna lie. That bundt cake was DELICIOUS! I took a little taste before deciding that would be on what I allotted my calories. No regrets. Did take home left overs - bird, potatoes, and stuffing. (Since I made the potatoes and stuffing, I had to take the casserole dishes home, right? LOL Seriously, it was a comedy of foisting leftovers off on others. The hostess and host didn't want them either!)

Boot camp - Holy AEROBIC! For 30 minutes I huffed and puffed, but I did it! It was not as hard as I thought it was going to be, but it wasn't easy either. I'm happy I got through it smiling, albeit breathless, and invigorated rather than rubber band wobbly exhausted. May give it a revisit tomorrow.

Bonnie!!!! Welcome back. Welcome home. I have missed you. I am glad you are on the mend. Your post this evening brought me joy.

Paula, sorry you had a tough go the other night. Tough place to be for you and the kid. I remember I felt like my mother wasn't even cold yet and my dad started dating. It bothered me a great deal. I was 33. I can only imagine how a teen would feel. I soon came to realize my dad simply didn't know how to be alone. I got used to him seeing women. He eventually settled into a long term relationship.

Good night, all.