Friday, November 2, 2018

Good morning!

I'll start us off today because I have good news--DH got the job offer!!!!!!!!

Feeling so relieved, and thankful, and loved. Many of our friends knew he had a second interview Tuesday and that he should he something by Friday. Even by yesterday he'd heard from several friends checking in. This is why we wanted to stay. We are so grateful to have friends who care right along with us. I have a bit of flair for the dramatic (have you guessed this?) so in my mind I'd started thinking of Meet Me in St. Louis and how this might be our last Christmas in Oklahoma. Luckily it worked out--same as in the movie! Thanks for enduring all my focus on this. It really was a big deal to me and honestly has been since the layoffs. This feels like a new leaf.

Okay so back to regularly scheduled programming--

Not sure on weight today. It was up yesterday. Feeling like it's up again today. My dinner plans went out the window--maybe you can't freeze eggplant? Whatever it was, my curry beef tasted like nasty bitter eggplant skin! Plus the celebration--so we ordered pizza. I've also been pretty off veggies recently. Could it be pregnancy or just a good scape goat?

DSD is watching Becca tonight and letting DH and me go on a much needed date night (turned celebration!). We're going to a steakhouse, which always is easier to eat protein-forward. Then we're going to see a Star is Born. Did someone review this here? Maybe Cecily?

Blessings today!

Good morning BB! You are up early!

Calories 1159, with a fair portion being carbs. NOT part of my plan. I was thinking about the discussion yesterday on changing behavior to address regain. It sure resonated for me. My HUGE problem is late evening grazing, which has always been the case in my lifetime. To accomplish that probably also means 1-2 glasses of wine 1-2 times a week at most, because consuming wine lowers my inhibitions about eating. I really feel that those two changes would put me in an optimal position to maintain. The first one is SO DIFFICULT for me, especially these days when my evenings are so lonely with DH in bed by 7:30. In Florida I will have SIL for company, but her drinking at night that tends to get on my nerves.

At least I exercised some yesterday. I took the dog on a longer walk and cleaned 1/3 of the house. The other 2/3 are on the agenda for today. I also got the Florida boxes mailed. Today in addition to cleaning, I will get my hair done. Countdown to traveling on Sunday...

Yesterday I took DH to his PCP to make sure he didn't have a urinary tract infection. The psychiatrist suggested we check that out because of DH's increase in confusion. But he doesn't (I just looked at the urinalysis and blood test results - nothing out of the ordinary including his thyroid which was a little low last time). I called his neurologist to ask about starting him on Namenda which the psychiatrist thinks is really important. I had discussed it with the neurologist at our visit in June and at that point he wanted to hold off. But between June and now, DH has lost the ability to ascertain the day, date, remember any special occasion dates, and he can't even remember one word after a few seconds much less three after a few minutes. Then there is the new need for me to help him pick his clothes, remind him to shower, and help him figure out the water adjustment and shampoo. We can't get into the neurologist office for an appointment at Christmas though, so he is supposed to call and I will suggest he talk with the psychiatrist. She said she would prescribe it if the neurologist agreed.

Time to get my butt in gear. Have a wonderful day!

Liz, re lonely nights ... I feel your pain. My approach (which doesn't completely solve the problem, but helps) is to go to bed very early. That syncs well with my affection for getting up very early.

Actually I will probably shift to an earlier schedule in Florida because we walk early (and the time change tonight will help). Maybe that will help!

I saw your placeholder before I posted, so didn't see your fantastic news! Congratulations to DH and your entire family!!! I know you were willing to move if necessary but how wonderful that you don't have to!

Final reply (I promise). A Star is Born was Fantastic! I hate going to movie theaters but this was worth it. Lady Gaga was wonderful. Many tears in the audience at the end.

I enthusiastically second Liz's review of "A Star Is Born." Both headliners are incredible in their roles.

And Bonnie, huge congratulations to your husband, you and all your family. Stability after instability is such a delicious gift. :)

Weight: Didn't weigh this morning
Macros: Didn't track
Sleep hours: 9 (Yes!)
Vegetable/Fruit Servings: Only 3
Exercise: None (unless you count packing the car and driving 10 hours)
Meditation (yesterday): No

Wow! I came home to what may be the most gorgeous autumn we have ever seen here! The tree colors are at peak levels.

NOLA was so lovely. The weather was great. Halloween was so much fun. And I *enjoyed* myself in some seriously non-weight-maintenance ways. But now that Halloween is over, it's time to begin anew again, which is what much of life is always about. Fortunately, I'm just better at beginning anew than I used to be.

Of course, that last sentence above is this morning's aspirational affirmation. After a trip like this and after eating and drinking with abandon, I ALWAYS arrive home with some anxiety about my ability to reset. Thus far, I've been able to do so, but to pretend that I come home 100% confident I'm out of the woods re regain is simply not true.

There are multiple aspects of all kinds to my resetting anxiety: self-compassion, gratitude, meditation, planning vs. reacting, safe (eating) environments, sleep and rest, exercise. What helps me is to take time after these trips to remember all the reasons why I wanted to lose 100 pounds, the things I did to lose the weight and to maintain my weight, and the very specific daily activities that make me feel truly happy and peaceful vs. those that make me feel greater anxiety. For instance, my morning meditation helps so very much to calm me down and get me out of that "OMG!" fearful state and getting back immediately into my daily home routine is critical.

Today will be a day of unpacking, resting, and other self care. Tomorrow, I'll drive five hours to attend the memorial service for my husband's son who died a few weeks ago, visit with family on Sunday, and drive home Monday. It won't be an easy trip, so this time I'll pack healthy food for the drive up and back.

Today's theme: Begin anew with gratitude.

Your NOLA trip looked fun.

I really enjoy New Orlean's from both a party and historical and food perspective. Was there 4 years ago for a friend's wedding which was on November 1. So we got to celebrate Halloween. Let's just say it takes a certain amount of alcohol to think that walking barefoot down Bourbon street is an okay idea. I shudder thinking about it! But we also had some magnificent food--Cochon, Coquette, and a jazz brunch at Antoine's (not to mention beignets and chicory). I don't regret it one bit. You have done a fantastic job in maintenance--and I strive to get to your level. I find it particularly admirable that you are enjoying life--including food--and doing the maintenance thing. That is a thing of beauty. And not easily come by. Hoping I can do the same. You know what I've found? It's rarely those food vacations that get me into trouble--and they are enjoyed about as much as one can. It's always the coverup....errrrr, the time after when I get back and have that moment of "maybe I should put off this diet and just order takeout."

Bonnie ... yes! That's also been my maintenance observation: it's not the holiday, but the transition back to the healthy routine that's critical.

BTW, thank you for your compliment. :) I have learned from this group that each of us must (1) find our own path that works for us and (2) commit to walking that path.

I've named my path (thus far) the middle way between indulgence and discipline. However, I don't assume that path will always be what works best for me because I'm old enough to know I must remain observant, in case old ways need to be replaced with something better.

For me, this maintenance challenge is turning out to be a big, fat metaphor for much of what makes life so difficult -- disruptions, imperfections, and beginning anew over and over and over again. I'm slowly learning to accept life's disruptions and even to embrace them with joy, because my only other option is to become a miserable drama queen about things that are inevitable and immutable.