VSG Maintenance Group
Saturday 10-20-18
Well I have a computer again. Not just an iPad and a phone. So much easier to post on a real keyboard. DS#1 gave me one that he was not using. It is a server model but I am using it anyway. It is a little glitchy but I will figure it out. Or buy the original software.
I am walking 1/2 mile / day now. Uphill both ways. LOL Really. There is a valley to the mailbox. Feels like my back is stronger. DW is a late riser so I have to wait for her to put my socks on. Lots of deer tracks where I walk. I would take one if I thought I could dress it out. I can lift it with the tractor. We just finished a gun hunt for land owners. Doe season. I have does in the yard at 3 am but it is too dark to shoot one legally. I do not know how they know when hunting season is on. Bow season is still open. They even know I do not have a bow. DD#1 knows how to cook it and we like it but do not eat much. We really have too many deer around here. They are traffic hazards at night. Groups of a dozen or more.
Baby Adalyn is running a temp again. 100 to 101. Red ears, antibiotics. Yesterday before she was running fever she snuggled with me. lying in my arms watching baby bum for more than 10 minutes. Cried when DD#1 took her to go home. All out of character for her, I told her then I hoped she was not getting sick.
DD#2 has slowed down with her communication with us. She may be jealous of Adalyn but in the past when she stopped talking she was having marital issues. She has even quit playing words with friends.
I was one of the lucky ones before WLS I never had reflux. DW has had it from about 13 years old. I occasionally do have it now. I take an H2 blocker and most nights I take tums. More as a prevention. I really feel blessed to eat most anything without reflux.
Devon, I have had you and Ron in my thoughts. Stroke is all in my family medical history. I should be taking an aspirin a day but I keep forgetting to put it in my pill pack. It is tough being a patient. Also hope they get Ron's prostate problems corrected.
My thoughts also go out to all of our group having surgical procedures in the next few months. Diane O, I hope this day is good. Diane S, Time for my second cup. Liz, Safe travels.
More later, David
HW=362(6/14) SW=314(9/14) GW=195 CW=270 (1-26-2020)
- Within Range: Yes
- General Wellbeing: 6 on SS
- 10,000+ Steps: 11,456
- Fitness: walking
- Self-Care: No
- Play/Leisure: No
- Interest/Talent/Skill: No
Yesterday, for the first time in a long time, I had tremendous difficulty activating my resilience. A series of bull**** things had to be addressed and rectified in short order ( mistaken billing on credit card putting me close to $ limit, pellet stove stopped working, heat went off in RV and wouldn't turn back on etc.) Not life threatening, but long phone call wait times and dealing with people unable to problem solve. DC exacerbated all of it by pulling back and looking to me to "figure it out and make it all go away", then investing his time in a bottle of wine. I HATE saying, "I don't know" with a passion. An "I'm not sure, let's find out !" is doable but I feel totally out of control when a series of events that I take on the responsibility of solving, stymie me.
Last night when I posted, I was totally overwhelmed and I shut down, as a -1 on the SS scale. I can't remember the last time I shut down like that, but I reached out here and DIDN'T eat over it. I sincerely appreciate all of your responses !!
Today, I'm rethinking some boundaries I need to solidify to preclude me from "owning" stuff that's supposed to be shared. If it can't be shared, I want the benefits of a solo life, not just the responsibilities. Funny how a puppy becomes such a factor in pushing through challenges. The fact that my self-care/leisure/play have been minimal certainly correlate with my depleted resilience. Have to make that a priority too.
David, glad you continue to progress. Hope the sweet babe feels better soon. Devon, continued positive energy to you and Ron.
Age: 64; 5' 5"; High weight: 345; Start weight: 271 (01/05/15); Surgery weight: 218 (05/27/15); Pre-Op (-53); M 1 (-18); M 2 (-1.5); M 3 (-13.5 ); M 4 (-13); M 5 (- 8); M 6 (-12) M 7 (-5, Xmas); M 8 (- 9) Under surgeon's goal and REACHED HEALTHY BMI 12/07/15!! (Six months and one week.) AT GOAL month 8. Maintaining at goal range (139- 144) ~ four (4) years !!
Oh boy, so many of the feelings I get on my overwhelmed days. Because I can be totally honest here, I have to say that if my DH was capable, I wouldn't do a lot if what I have to take care of now and probably wouldn't be with him if he refused. But different situation.
You have to weigh the benefits against the negatives in your relationship and decide what is best for you. Truly, life is too short to waste time being unhappy if it can be fixed.
Liz 5'3" HW: 219 SW: 185 GW: 125 LW: 113 Desired maintenance range: 120-125 CW: 119ish
Oh! That is a terrible box dwell in. (my soul knows that special hellish place of no peace and feelings of powerlessness) HUGS HUGS. I am so glad you are here. You are loved and esteemed.
That skirmish last night may feel like a loss, but remember, it is the overall battle that is to be won, and you have proven in the past to have the strengths to move through and to your 10 on a scale of wellbeing. Resilience will return because it is part of who you are. It is so hard when the help and support are needed and expected (and deserved) then not to be found or offered.
May your day today- now- be a gentle and smoothly path to healing. Stay well. Reach out. We are here for you in all love.
Boy, I'm so sorry you had a crappy day! I didn't read the late posts yesterday...just posted. Went back and read your post today. You did sound shut down. I'm glad you are feeling better. The nice thing is that you seemed to rally PDQ and realized those issues are all just "thing" issues. However, DC investing in a bottle of wine, is an additional layer that you certainly could have done without. So glad Atlas was there to support you.
Weight: 135.6
The moon and stars must be in some sort of death spiral right now.
Last night I got a phone call that my husband's middle son had died. I didn't know until last night that he had been missing for the last week, with friends and family searching for him. Late yesterday the sheriff's department found his body by a creek on his property.
He was a sweet man, but had many challenges. He lived alone and had not been well for decades. He suffered from mental illness and chronic pain (following a motorcycle accident 30 years ago). Like many others, he had lost access to pain medications because of the recent legislative and regulatory changes regarding opioid prescription drugs.
It's clear that if he took his life he did not use a gun, because all his firearms were found in his home. And the authorities have ruled out "foul play" (which basically means murder. We won't know the cause or other details of his death until after the coroner's report is released.
Needless to say, his loss is terribly painful to all his family. I am so very sad, but also glad that my dear husband was not here to suffer this loss. This was his second son to die; his oldest son died nearly four years ago after a stroke.
Today's theme: Life is precious. Life is brief.
ANN 5'5", AGE 74, HW 235.6 (BMI 39.2), SW 216, GW 150, CW 132, BMI 22
POUNDS LOST: Pre-op -20, M1 -10, M2 -11, M3 -10, M4 -10, M5 -7, M6 -5, M7 -6, M8 -4, M9 -4,
NEXT 10 MOS. -12, TOTAL -100 LBS.
Life is also sharp, intense, and full of heavy burdens we are set upon in order to navigate our paths -the flip side of the coin (life) that we sometimes find ourselves looking at. Your last paragraph expresses gratitude - not denying - not hiding or stuffing those righteous sad feelings. We are all called to work out our own salvation with fear and trembling in order to renew our hearts and minds.
Indeed, today- life is precious. I am sorry for your sad news. Lots of hugs needed here today.
