Thursday, October 11, 2018

That kitty is so dang cute. I love the white whiskers against the black face. ds

Weight back down to pre Pennsylvania dog show weight (260).

Liz, fingers crossed that DH can take the appointment today. Lavender is a cutie pie! Hope she is a help for DS when you leave. Did DS break up with his boyfriend? Ann, congrats on being done with contractors! What a pleasant feeling that must be. I don't like having workers puttering about for days on end. Diane O., you must be glamping close by if you have the option of staying home. That's kind of nice. Best of both worlds, really. How is Sadie today? BB, hope Becca is feeling better. David, how is the healing going? How is your pain level? Shel, I would totally support the cost of your "training"! You need a lot of support for your upcoming adventure. It's pretty amazing that you're doing it at all! Cecily, I'm a little worried about you. Are you okay?

I compromised on my Begin Anew focus. I am going totally non sugar, but was not ready with some of the other foods I will need and my breakfast was a complete fail, so I had to grab some hard cooked eggs and quickly throw some yogurt and berries together! I guess, I'm easing into it...

I can see that fall weather clothes are soon to be worn even here in California. Where I live, it actually does get cool - not cold, but cool. I will enjoy wearing sweaters again, I think. I don't have any coats that I like wearing at this weight. I do have a nice London Fog Pea Coat, but that doesn't work well in the rain. Perhaps by the rainy season here (begins later this month or November, if we're lucky)I will be down a few pounds and feeling more amenable to wearing layers. Right now, layers simply feel like I'm adding more bulk to my frame.

My trainer's reaction to me telling her about the dog show pics was different than mine. She immediately went to the side of "You looked way better than you think, hunh?" side of thinking. I had to confess that I actually had the opposite reaction - I looked far worse than I realized. She was puzzled by that. Interesting since she is a formerly obese person.

Thanks, Devon! I followed up and talked to a great nurse who actually walked over to talk to the referral people, then called me back. Apparently it will take a couple of days because it is out of the doctors network (not out of the insurance company network, but the doctor). Red tape in this day and age... Anyway we have a firm appointment on 10/30, which is before we go to Florida which was the goal.

DS is still with his boyfriend but it is very long distance and they don't see each other much. I don't know what the future will bring but at least DS won't be lonely this winter. He doesn't do well alone and loves his animals like I do.

Long distance relationships are hard - especially if one is in a newer relationship. I'm sorry he has to deal with that.

I would think your formally obese trainer would understand the horror of pictures. Not that I have problems with that ;)

My only conclusion is that she thinks your real self looks pretty good, and of course your pictures would reflect that.

Funny you should say that. Her response was to immediately ask if I saw how good I really looked. She sees me in a tank when I'm working out. I work hard and my muscles fill with blood and get "pumped". So, yeah, my arms and upper chest can look pretty good when I finish working out. Even my legs, I guess. I was just super focused on my girth and gut. I don't feel nearly as big as I am...

It was a good reality check, if indeed, what I see is reality. I guess all I can say is that I know I am not happy with what I see. BUT!!!!!! I"m okay with that for today and tomorrow and the next day. I don't feel hopeless. Instead, I feel inspired to do what I know must be done to get back to where I belong.

Good Morning All - FriYAY here and Im thankful to be coming to the end of the working week. Mum is heading back to her house this morning so Im hoping she will be ok with doing her drops etc over the weekend. I have cooked a lot of meals for her to take home so she can just concentrate on healing. I did offer for her to come with us to the farm but having a head cold she wants to head home.

Meeting the team at a cafe at 10am to review past month as my director just got back from Europe. Then back home to work - Fridays are generally quiet so Im hoping that is the case today.

Have been so hungry and been giving in. Not sure if its a lack of sleep and running constantly with care of mum, working etc - plus TTOM is coming. Will be good to get to the farm where I always do a lot more exercise etc and will see what Monday brings.

Food is an unsure today - Will have breakfast before I go to meeting then find something for Lunch when I get home. Dinner is always something on the way to farm - 3.5 hour drive

I will likely not make it back here over the weekend - tend to be out in the paddocks working from first light up there so will wish you all a wonderful weekend :)

Shirley

I haven't seen TTHOM for a long time, thank goodness, but being tired is a HUGE trigger for me feeling hungry. It is almost as if I feel like "fuel" will make me feel less tired (by which I mean I crave carbs probably for that sugar boost you get at first).

Im hoping to bani**** early (see todays post) I have now caught mums cold so feeling yuck. Going to start a fresh this week and hope to be better - amazingly I had a 0.66lb loss from last weeks weigh in - go figure

Feeling wiped out. Spent the day with my parents while my Mom had a lung biopsy. She is 7 years out from lung cancer surgery. There have always been tiny nodules in her remaining lobes, and one started growing, so I've always known this day would come again. If it is cancer, which reason tells me it most likely is, it's not spread according to the pet scan. My Mom is 77, my Dad 80. After today, the realization is, it's not a nice extra that I come with them, it is now a necessity. I think I am on the road from involved daughter to caretaker.