VSG Maintenance Group
Wednesday, September 19, 2018
Wow- I wish I had a concrete, solid and sure answer to what it was like to be confronted with the position (physically and emotionally, and for me spiritually) I found my self in. I know I was in a deep, dark place suffering from despair of not having the energy, ability, and you are right- desire to move--I was stuck.
What changed my experience, I have not come close to unpacking the process-mindset-mostly I see it all as a gifting of some mercy and grace. I remember thinking, "I am going to do what I know I need to do", not knowing whether I would be successful or fail- just that the day came when I knew I had no control over the outcome, but the time finally came when the only thing I could do was the right thing- and only- because it was the right thing to do- regardless of how it played out--The end product was no longer the goal- I had no power to determine that. The strength I did have was the ability to choose, daily, to do the right thing food wise knowing that if I did not choose to do what I knew was "the right thing", I was the same as turning around in the wilderness and returning to Egypt. I chose the HOPE (again) for something better over the meager non life I was currently experiencing. My goal changed from desiring an end product to daily loving and treating my self better-
No half measures, no rewarding or time off for "good behavior". I believe to the bone that people (meaning me) do not stop doing behaviors they some how make it ok to do. What I was doing finally became Not ok. Why was I treating myself that way? It was no longer ok.
Guess I've just unpacked a little baggage.
Shoot, Peps, you know you may be right in your thoughts about the futility with the "Just do it" approach to right relationship to food- A person (really maybe ) cannot sustain over time a behavior contrary to current beliefs regarding those relationships. We will all return to behaviors that support what we think are somehow ok to do. Change the thinking-changes perspective-changes feelings about-provides the hope that unsticks us and create****herto unrealized options- that unstick us, and result in growth and change and take u****her.
Bonnie 150, you are such a gift to this group ! Your book will be fabulous !
Age: 64; 5' 5"; High weight: 345; Start weight: 271 (01/05/15); Surgery weight: 218 (05/27/15); Pre-Op (-53); M 1 (-18); M 2 (-1.5); M 3 (-13.5 ); M 4 (-13); M 5 (- 8); M 6 (-12) M 7 (-5, Xmas); M 8 (- 9) Under surgeon's goal and REACHED HEALTHY BMI 12/07/15!! (Six months and one week.) AT GOAL month 8. Maintaining at goal range (139- 144) ~ four (4) years !!
