Tuesday, September 18, 2018

"Stress-related" DH's IBS like symptoms are much worse than they were before his parents decline and his POA started. I think those events are likely related. He also has migraines but I don't know if those have increased.

To me, he is certainly is stressed and likely (?) depressed. I am hopeful that as his POA duties wrap up, so stress levels and mood will both improve. (I am ever hopeful)

But, added to this, he keeps making noises that he wants to retire. I think it is 1) too early and 2) isolation is a terribly bad idea. He has few friends so he would just be at home 3) spending money while 4) I am still working.

Retirement was definitely not my friend --what it did provide was the last bit of structured activity that I was responsible for remaining sober in order to function. My indulgence knew no bounds- What qualifies for full fledged alcoholic membership ? For me it was the old hack--One day I woke up realizing that my reason for breathing-being and getting up on any and every given day was to drink.

I have taken note of what happened when you retired.....one day you will do it differently with a totally different outcome.

Very thoughtful post indeed.

And I thank you for your honesty.

It's an interesting time. Oklahoma just voted to legalize medical marijuana and they're trying to get it on the ballot for recreational. I have never smoked pot so I'm probably a bad person to ask, but I guess I assume that being high is like being drunk. Is there a "one glass of wine" equivalent to getting high? I don't know, but I guess I've assumed there is not.

Anyway, I have seen the impact pot has on my step son and it's very negative. He is a very very smart kid (we're talking top 1% test scores) and yet marijuana totally squashes that. He's dropped out of college twice (one of those times, giving up a full ride) and I attribute it to marijuana. They say it's not addictive. Maybe it's not chemically addictive, but the lifestyle he leads, the friends he chooses, when he's smoking seems to suggest that at least the lifestyle is "habit forming". And has created many negative consequences.

But he has recently decided to stop smoking because he didn't like the way it made him feel and continually falling behind.

I have heard good things about medicinal pot from many sources...but just like anything else, for some it can be a bad thing. Hell, food is a bad thing for me!

Quick post

164.4. Dunno why but liking it! However feeling puffy.

It's been a long week...and it's only Tuesday! Looking forward to the weekend but will be sad to lose DH again :(

Oh did I mention he has a job interview? Please keep him in your thoughts this Thursday. it would mean the world to me if he gets this job and can stay home!!

Greetings Great Ones

Such a lot of interesting chat today! I am at 151, having had a slice of the grocery store choc cake yesterday. It was quite good. Got a dog walk in and a vet visit with Tesla. Then DH discovered a corpse in the back yard. Either a very large mouse or a very small rat. I vote rat. The day before I had noticed Chip outside engaged in hunting and playing with something so I am sure he found the creature in the brush pile and murdered it. At least he didn't eat it. He has standards.

Dave, wishing you a good surgery result. Don't even be tempted to hold the baby if you shouldn't. Let brother do it and give him some chores as well. Interesting to hear about the fasting. Is it absolutely nothing bu****er? One way I like to drink water is to get ice water and then just put a little splash of tart cherry juice in it. Just a bit. Its kind of like lemon in water. Yeah I am sure there is sugar but it is not sweet. I hate artificial sweeteners.

Have fun at the arts event Ann and stay away from murderous trees.

Interesting discussion on the pot use. I live in the pot capital of the universe but doe not use the stuff. I don't object to adults using it but I think it has bad effects on adolescent brain and causes them to be unmotivated. Seems like adults on pot don't get violent like on alcohol and some people suggest that canabanoids can help treat alcoholism. The stuff certainly has medical benefits for cancer patients and others. But for an adult to be high during all non working hours is kind of a concern. No answers; only questions.

BB, I hope your DH gets the job you want. Travel can get old for all concerned. My dad traveled constantly for business and it was hard on my mom.

Liz glad your DH is better at home. No place like home indeed.

Tonight is a gallery meeting/barbeque which will include discussion of new members. One applicant has some religious themes to her art - very mild - but I predict a Sh--storm on that. Ridiculous. We need new artists and this one is excellent. We shall see.

Time for more coffee. Over and out. Diane S

Separation of Church/Religion and Art? Discounting a work because it expresses a spiritual interpretation/representations of human experience? Oh, that poor, misguided artist wasting her talent on non-art; what must she be thinking??? Let's hope, in this case, that the art police don't prevail.

Interesting discussion on pot use. As a person with a true addiction issue, I'm just gonna be blunt. Shel's DH has a big as **** problem with dope dependence, if he's stoned from the time he gets home every day to the time he goes to bed. There. Said. Sorry, if it's too blunt, but it's the truth from my side of things. Been there, done that. Now, that doesn't mean it is necessarily a negative life issue, but it probably is. Depends on the purpose. For me it would be an issue in that I would have been unmotivated to do anything after work other than get high and veg out.

The scale with pot is pretty unclear. Yes, BB there is an equivalent to one glass of wine with pot. However, pot is not the same as when I was young and one could get a nickel or dime bag. The stuff they grow now is super hybridized and is basically GMO'd to make it as potent as possible. So, it is harder to regulate. I haven't had any in probably 25+ years. The last time I did it, I had one toke (puff, inhalation) and was rather tipsy/stoned. In my teens it took an entire shared joint to feel the same effects. I have been completely sober for years and wouldn't enjoy feeling that tipsiness in any form any more. I do still like a caffeine buzz, though! LOL!

Nothing has changed since yesterday. Still contemplating everything. Not feeling very good about some things, but I suppose that is to be expected. Unlike Dave, today I'm not sure I would not change my decision to have had VSG if given the chance. I don't know. Lots of benefits, but I'm back in the same boat I was before. My fault, sure. Hindsight is 20/20. I feel like the system lost money on me and somebody else will have to take up the slack for my failings. I'm sure it's a calculated risk on the part of the HMO, but still, I'm not feeling proud today.

You have lots to be proud of!!! Those kids! Those pups! A go-to guy for friends and family!!!!! Think of the impact you have had on kids and how it ripples into the future. How amazing is that?

About pot. You are not too blunt! (By the way, isn't a blunt something in the marijuana world?). I was asking for opinions, after all.

For a long time, he only used just before bed, likely as a sleep aid cuz his doctor stopped prescribing Ambien a few years ago. (Most docs have cut way back on Ambien prescriptions so I doubt the doctor had particular issues with DH) That seemed like an even trade, and maybe an improvement. He went to bed right after, with little to no interaction with me or DD.

The use after work til bed is a more recent development and has increased in frequency but is not close to being every night. My worry makes it feel like every night but it isn't. It is certainly more regular than I want to see.

Again, thanks for your perspective.

Sorry I misunderstood about frequency. Pot is like booze in the sense that it does need regular dosing to keep the hallucinagenic at a constant level in the blood stream. It also over time takes more to get the same effect.

More than 20years ago when my mom was dying I acted as 'head of house' for my dad. I took care of him, my mom, my brother and my aunts. I took a leave from work/school to keep things going at my parents' home. My mom died sometime around midnight. We waited for hospice, then for the 'body snatchers'. Once the guys had put my mom's body in the hearse, I poured myself a brandy. I continued to drink for about 10 days after my mom died (at night, not all day long - but still...).

One night I drank myself to a raging hangover and fogged headache the next day. I had to make arrangements for the funeral and life celebration the next day with that significant hangover. It was then that I began to realize that maybe I shouldn't drink at all. I knew I had to get up and plan the funeral and reception, but drank to excess anyway. It was like I didn't have a choice in that moment. Maybe that's what is going on with DH right now. Maybe he doesn't know how to feel what he's feeling about his dad passing and the pot is helping him move past and onward.