Saturday, August 11, 2018

Weight: 136.8
Macros: Cals 1,278, Carbs 117, Fats 34, Protein 130, Fiber 21
Sleep hours: 6
Vegetable/Fruit Servings: 5
Exercise: Walking
Meditation: Yes

The scale is finally moving. I'm finally beginning to comprehend that it's not necessary to focus on results, but on behavior.

I'm also appreciating the need of building DAILY habits that are healthy and support my long-term goals.

In response to the larger questions raised here lately about our underlying, basic motivations to lose weight (Who do we hope to become or what is it that we hope to gain after losing weight and becoming slim/healthy/wear a size X?), I have realized that what I REALLY want from this process of weight loss/maintenance is to feel more in control, more stable, more powerful and not to be distracted so much by life's slings and arrows.

Yesterday, I wrote in my journal: "I want to STRENGTHEN MY INTENTION to carry out the tasks I wish to accomplish, in small ways and large, to live the life I want to live."

Please understand I'm not talking about anything grandiose. Nor do I believe I can be perfect. No one is. That's impossible. I just want to get up every day and say, "This is what I want to accomplish today," and then do it, or most of it or at least more of it. This is why I am so bothered by my procrastination -- when I wait until the last minute to pay bills, when I don't make the bed, when I eat foods I didn't intend to eat, or behave in other ways, small and large, that don't align with my intentions. I'd also like to bounce back from my imperfections more easily and faster, and that's where I think self-compassion and self-love are important.

And I didn't say a word about vegetables and fruits. :)

Today's theme: "What saves a man is to take a step. Then another step." C.S. Lewis

Weight 118.6, calories 1610. Wine again... We went out to dinner, then I had some cookies back at home. Sigh...

Control and procrastination. Both are important topics for me. I always need to feel in control (adult child of an alcoholic control), but I procrastinate about things like making calls/appointments. I don't know why I procrastinate because it bugs me that I do.

Today it is cloudy and muggy with thunderstorms expected at anytime. It would have been a good weekend to clean the house. Of course, I already did that the last few days! Bad timing...

Have a satisfying Saturday!

I just went back and read the last couple of days posts. A few thoughts:

Bonnie, Miss150 - Amazing 3 month loss - it is good to know it can be done!

Why do I eat? Hmmm... It definitely started for comfort after my teenage household imploded (Dad died, 2 years later brother died, mother became a raging alcoholic as a result). It continued in that vein after I was pregnant and married at 17 in a not so ideal marriage. Fast forward to pre-WLS, I guess I was still eating for the same reasons, but not only when I was unhappy, just in general because I equated good tasting food with "happiness". So, where am I Today??? Good question. When I ate the cookies last night that I shouldn't have did I think it would make me feel happy? "Food" for thought...

Finally, a question: I noticed that Devon mentioned taking ibuprofen for a headache. My surgeons office tells us to stay away from aspirins and NSAIDS in general, but they are okay in certain situations for a short time. Do most of you shy away from them or do you not worry about it? The only time I took it was after PS and once when I had a killer headache. There are times when I feel achy in my shoulder and I know ibuprofen would help but am afraid to take it.

Liz ... about NSAIDs ... I also avoid them unless I have some sort of muscle or joint injury where inflammation is involved.

I've understood that NSAIDs are the most effective drug to reduce inflammation and helpful when inflammation is slowing your body's natural healing processes. Yo, Shel -- is this right, wrong, simplistic?

I take naproxen (Aleve) or ibuprofen (Advil, Motrin) 6 times a year max. I just don't have those inflammation issues these days, even with crappy knees and arthritis.

BTW, I rarely have headaches. Can remember only a couple of mild ones in the last 4-5 years, and one was due to a hangover.

Thanks for the notice!

Starve a cold-feed a fever-or is it the other way around? I basically stay away from everything for no other reason than I can not, for the life of me, ever remember which type of those buggers is bad for the tummy. Now that I think of it- staying clear of a substance because I know that it could be harmful to my body/health certainly did NOT translate to similar knowledge of and then avoidance of alcohol. Talk about fickle thinking and the resultant behavior resulting. No wonder our ability to deny, rationalize, ignore sound and solid facts gets us--I mean---ME--into so much grief.

I get cluster headaches on occasion and pretty intense "tension" headaches that can quickly escalate to crippling headaches. I guess they are migraines of some degree. The past two springs I have also suffered from ocular migraine headaches, which are a total trip because it doesn't feel like a headache at all.

I learned many years ago from my doctor that "you can't chase pain". In other words, it's a lot easier without prescription meds to treat early rather than wait until the head pain is intense. After VSG I valiantly tried using Tylenol and generic acetaminophen, but even the extra strength didn't touch my head pain. I can usually take a 400mg dose of ibuprofen and kick a head ache to the curb. Sometimes it may require 600 or 800mg dosage (which I have permission to use because it's equivalent to OTC Motrin).

I can tolerate all sorts of body aches and pains. I can not tolerate headaches. Well, a mild one, sure. But I don't tend to get mild headaches. While it is not recommended to take ibuprofen after VSG, two of my doctors have given me permission to use it occasionally. My WLS surgeon's group is less willing, but has admitted they have not seen adverse effects with ibuprofen use with VSG patients (yet), but have seen horrendous ulcers in bypass patients. Apparently, ulcers love scar tissue. We have lots on our stomachs. GB patients don't, so if they get a bad ulcer it can be a bad, bad issue for them.

My surgeon said she isn't generally worried about (some) NSAID use in vsg patients which is a sharp contrast what she tells RnY patients.

I rather like Pep's description of how he handles NSAIDS for two reasons. 1) he distinguishes types of pain....it sounds like his headaches debilitate him vs other pain that is just discomfort and 2) he already knows Tylenol for his headaches doesn't work

The general hierarchy of pain medications for small joints is Tylenol or topical pain relievers as first line. (topical pain relievers include OTC salonpas patches (the one with lidocaine in particular) or a topical NSAID which is available only as prescription in States. You can buy that same topical NSAID as an OTC product in Canada.)

2nd line is oral NSAIDS and then use as little as possible. Liz doesn't sound like she ever had an intention of using every day.

I used to feel bummed that I "shouldn't" use NSAIDs after a very long hike. I dropped my FOMO when a couple of studies came out that said NSAIDS may be counterproductive in that situation. I don't remember the exact studies/reasons -- but it was something about the muscles needing prostaglandins and inflammation as part of the muscle strengthening process.

And once again, I am so grateful for your presence here, Shel. Gee, someone who has good information -- what a concept. :)

Right back at cha!

140.6

Wonderful post and theme- in four words (shocking for me, I know) I translate the lesson as : Striving daily (for) true INTEGRITY. Yes, I too think what my ultimate goal is- to be the person I want to be- the path to that goal (the journey- the purpose for my living--the opportunity God has gifted me) is to grow into that person by behaving truly in line with that image-day by day - decision by decision.

What is that image? I want to be Don Quixote- To Dream the Impossible Dream. And not only dream it, but make it truth in my life. I know- grandiose aspirations.

But, then- I believe truly, "to those who have been given much, much is expected". It would be nice to put the fear down and look, see, act, be the 100% Real and Genuine Me.

These are the musings of a 64 year old woman who, while recognizing and humbly owning that she has done some purposeful good in this world, is wondering now---why only SOME? I, too, am not talking about the largeness of the contribution--I am asking why have I not lived up to the potential that is me- whether it is big or small self growth or contribution--

It's an overused saying, but the only way I can think of to sum this up (yah, so much for 4 words...) Before I die, I want to know what it is like to know that I have "left it ALL on the field".