Sharing Miss150's response

First, Bonnie, hope you don't mind I lifted and shared your post here. In some ways it's easier than linking to another page, and we can comment here. Ann, I think, mentioned Bonnie's response to Kathy S's post on the General Discussion forum. Her response was soft, gentle, and quite profound. Reading the post below made me "inside cry" (it's something that I do...hard to explain...) I hope you all enjoy this as much as I did. Devon Miss150 on 8/1/18 5:50 am

Do you know what I like about OH?

Not only do I find kindred spirits here who keep me amazed, awed, troubled, informed and encouraged, but it is here- through reading other's experiences (good, bad, hopeful and questioning) that shatter some of my rock hard assumptions and supposed truths regarding this WLS "path" and make me think of the many issues that need to be sifted through.

So, yah, two things occur to me- What, really, counts as "trying"? For me, in regards to my weight regain/regain reloss there's the "Trying is lying" when I don't really mean it, or "Trying, but just for today" as in putting in the effort like it is a day's work, but the weekend is coming and that weekend goes on for forever. Sometimes my trying is "I just want to relieve enough of the misery, shame, and self rebuke to diminish- that is get enough of the WLmonkey to get off my back so that I can resume doing what I really want to do- which is eat when, what, however I want to.

Effective trying happened for me when the pain that went with the regain became unbearable and I was no longer willing to pay the price it took (physically, mentally, and spiritually) to get the pitiable, short lived benefit that food gave me. I believe that people do not stop doing something that they think- one way or the other- is ok to do. Somehow, I made horrible choices because I made it ok to do so. Over and over, tossing out many a "I'm trying" into the mix while fully intending (consciously or not) to return to behaviors that I some how made ok.

So, how many times did I try before things clicked? My answer is the same as if someone asked me, "How many times did it take you to find your lost glasses?" Why, as many times as it took to find them.

To those of us who have/are dealing with regain...yes! Keep trying. There is no movement can happen without that first step. Just remember to be clear in your heart what you really mean by the word trying. The tool does not break, it is our brains that somehow, sometimes misfire. The car can drive, but can the driver take that working car to its destination?

Regain of 125# Loss of 130# ( 15 months).

Thank you so much for your post (and those that have responded to this thread- ) and the thinking it causes me to have.

goal!!! August 20, 2013 age: 59 High weight: 345 (June, 2011) Consult weight: 293 (June, 2012) Pre-Op: 253 (Nov., 2012) Surgery weight: 235 (Dec. 12, 2012) Current weight: 145

TOTAL POUNDS LOST- 200 (110 pounds lost before surgery, 90 pounds lost Post Op.diabetes in remission-blood pressure normal-cholesterol and triglyceride levels normal! BMI from 55.6 supermorbidly obese to 23.6 normal!!!!

Sorry the format messed up when I posted. It looked fine before I hit submit! Sheesh!

Miss Bonnie... What a powerful post ! I love the way that at one time or another, it seems like each of you articulates feelings / connections / insights either mirroring what I have experienced, or pulling together the unfinished edges of an awakening ! I am so fortunate and grateful to have found all of you !! My immediate thought is that setting intentions is really no different than stating I will try. If I emphatically state I WILL do something, it leaves a lot of room to admonish myself for falling short. I still struggle to celebrate the attempt. Perhaps the intention (in our hearts) behind trying is the winning combination.

Ditto that! "...unfinished edges of an awakening" Just that!--what the posts that you all so generously provide do for me, and I think, all of us.

I wish I could write like you, Devon, or Bonnie or really like most everyone on our thread. The ability to articulate these deep feelings so eloquently is amazing. I feel so blessed to have all of you in my life.

Never a problem, and, thank you Peps for your kind words.

So profound.

thank you. Thank you.

will have to read this over and over and over.