07/31/18, Tuesday

Welcome back!

Good Morning

everyone is so busy and thank you for inviting the lurkers to post. I do hope that we hear the stories.

the horror of the death continues with alcohol being paramount with the ex'es. Awful.

Good morning! I?m heading to lunch soon with neighbors then getting ready for my quick trip to Canada.

I am having trouble finding clothes that fit. All my pants are particularly baggy in the seat and thighs and look super sloppy. I ordered some new size 8 pants that will be here this afternoon. I hope a size change will help and still fit my waist. Long term, I think I need to build some muscle in my rear to fill my pants out or looking into tailoring. My shirts all look big too now even though I didn't have work done up there. I think the baggy pants are making my shirts look too baggy too. First world problems for sure, but annoying nevertheless.

I did get a lot done yesterday around the house. Everything cleaned, laundry done, beds changed, pictures hung, bags unpacked (I hadn't unpacked since getting here. I'm a master procrastinator)... It feels so good to have a productive day like that. I should have them more often!

Hope your Tuesdays are good ones!

Weight: 167.4. Up, up, and away

David-glad to hear from you. Sorry poor Adalynn has ear troubles. All 4 of my nieces have tubes in their ears. When we went to Dr. for Becca's 4 mo, we mentioned her being fussy, so the Dr. checked her ears. Immediately I started imagining ear infection and deciding how many we'd endure before tubes...all to hear him say "well it's definitely not due to her ears." DH had a double ear infection when I was 37 wks pregnant. Dr. said he was only the 3rd adult he'd seen with this. It was some of the worst pain for DH. So he really sympathizes with poor babies now!

Liz-mmmm peanut butter balls. But yes, that sounds dangerous to me. I loooove peanut butter. Sometimes "healthy" choices can be abused by me. That's why I'm not really a fan of protein bars, either. To me, they're just mediocre candy bars. So I splurge for the candy bar when I really want it. Or those Lenny's cookies--and a serving is HALF a cookie! Urgh! But it has "protein."

Ann-I'm loving this cooler weather too! Rainy and cool yesterday. Almost like a glimpse of autumn! Celebrated by burning an apple candle and cooking up some white chicken chili.

Busy weekend, hence my absence. DH and I had our annual pool party. My parents were supposed to watch Becca, but were not feeling well, so she stayed. And she was a total gem! As well as my DSD being a huge help with her. Our party was a "White Trash Bash". DH and I smoked chicken legs and grilled hotdogs, plus "crack potatoes" and "moonshine baked beans" and trashcan punch, plus whatever the others brought. Tons of kids this year! Funny to see our friend group evolve. Becca was only 3rd youngest! Throughout the course of the evening we had about 50 adults and 15 kids. It wasn't even too gross to pick up Sunday, and overall felt pretty good.

But now Becca's returning to her sleep troubles. Over all she's a really good sleeper. So I feel bad about sleep training her. But she's struggling to sleep through the night when I know she can! On bad nights she's fussing/stirring every couple hours. It's paci and right back down, but I'm afraid she's struggling to stay asleep and I'm keeping her from learning that by always soothing her to sleep. I have the next 2 weeks off while babysitter is on vacation and this would be the best time to sleep train. And ped agrees best time is before 6 + months when it's harder to break them of sleep associations. But so hard. Feels mean. Ugh idk.

For any instant pot users, you have to get the silicone molds and make cocpycat starbucks sous vide egg bites. So yummy and great for breakfast! Easy. Low carb, high protein!

Off topic:

I get to be a fake stay at home mom these next two weeks. I love homemaking. Always have. Love decorating and cooking and generally taking care of my family. And especially when Rich is gone, taking care of everything is pretty overwhelming...and I have help...lots of it (housekeeper, yardmen, etc.!). I do hate that I'm so rushed in the mornings...when she's so sweet. And we're both tired and cranky in the evenings. We would have the luxury of me staying at home if I wanted to. I know it's not all roses. I'm pretty sure I'd get bored. And I feel like I have to justify how I'm spending my time (this is only my personal feelings--DH doesn't care!). Plus feeling a little guilty like I took up a law school spot if I did quit the day job. Plus how do I give my DSD college advice. Just things I think about

Bonnie -- my life has been one phase after the other of different things and different focuses and places to live.

Yes, mostly I've worked my patootie off. But then I didn't have kids. And at times I burned myself out and took interesting breaks. Then went back to other (always better) jobs / careers.

Just realize you're not changing your role for all the rest of your life if you do stay home now with Becca -- you're just doing it for a while. :)

This message brought to you by a woman has never given birth. ;)

SLAP! Now that I have your attention...

So, I too, have never given birth, nor do I have children. HOWEVER, I do work with children and have for 25 years. If you want to stay home with your baby and you can financially manage it, DO IT! You will be giving Becca, yourself and DH a priceless gift. As backward and non PC as my stance is on this, there is nothing than can replace the the formative years spent with a GOOD PARENT. (The only situation I have seen that equals as stay at home parent is when a baby is raised by an entire family, e.g. grandparents, aunts, uncles who are all seriously invested in a child's rearing.) I can't tell you how many young women I know who would give their eye teeth to be able to be home with their babies. It is instinct. You, are a mama bear. Becca is yours. You are her fiercest protector and nurturer. What in God's name could possibly be wrong with wanting to fulfill your instinctual, anthropological, and innate desire to be a mother to your daughter?

Question: Did the guy who went to law school, became a lawyer, worked for the DA's office in juvenile court and decided after 5 years that he could make a bigger difference as an inner city high school teacher for the kids he saw in the system every day take up a space in law school? I think not! Just food for thought.

Bonnie, I had two sets of kids (15 years between set one and two). I've worked full-time while raising kids, part-time, and taken some time off to be with them. I've also done the working away from home and at home. IMO: Bottom-line, do what you and DH feel is right and can afford. At the end of the day, it is the foundation of love and care you provide for Becca that will count (for her and for you). BTW, the best mix for me and I think/hope for my kids was working part-time two days a week, some in the office and some at home. It kept my mind and my resume fresh, but I could be with my children when they needed me.

Greetings My Pets

150 today but I think its due to poor potty performance. TMI.

Hey Diane O, thanks for the shout out to the lurkers! We do have over 1500 members in this group. Sometimes I wonder if it should be called something other than vsg maintenance group - more like "the ups and downs of life after vsg surgery and weight loss". because thats what it is. Staying perfectly at goal indefinitely is not always the way it goes. I stayed that way for 5 years and then the creeping up began. So I hope people will not feel reluctant to check in if they have had regain or other issues. Thats what we are all here to help with and deal with.

And Diane O, ONE peanut butter ball??!! Kudos to you. I could never do that.

So Stephanie Plum welcome back! (love that book character). Sorry for your health problems but thats part of being in the more advanced state of life. Seems to be one of the most common reasons for regain. Love hearing from you.

Hey Dave, I am glad Adalyn got the tubes. Big decision but sounds like the right one. Hope it provides relief for all. Lucky you to have a hot tub for pain management. Wish I had one. (note to self: there is one at the gym you dummy).

BB, maybe there are some middle ground solutions to your work/child care situation. could you work 2 or 3 days per week? Could you stay home a couple of years until she is in a pre school? My mom was back to work when I was very young - I don't remember her being home - and I resented it. Now at the age of 66 I think I am over it and understand but still.... Glad your pool party went well. Does the white trash theme mean all the guys had plumber's cracks showing! LOL.

I have a long to do list today. Cecily, you and I could be on the Olympic procrastination team. I let stuff stack up and then think I have too much to do. Enjoy Canada trip.

DH is napping in his chair with two dogs on his lap wagging tails in unison. DH is still having vision trouble after cataract surgery some months ago and we are trying to figure out what to do. He has an appointment but its not until September. There are so few eye doctors here. We may have to go to the big city -San Fran.

Zuccini and black beans sounds great. Sometimes I get sick of meat. DH loves cold shrimp but I am actually sick of that right now.

Its cool and overcast and it looks like we had a dab of rain. I so wish the inland fires could get some. Cheers to all.

Diane S