Weight: 134.0
Macros: Cals 1,312, Carbs 127, Fats 44, Protein 87, Fiber 31
Sleep hours: 8.5
Vegetable/Fruit Servings: 6
Exercise: Mowing

Good morning, all!

I'm now counting down the days before Cecily's aunt is no longer in danger of death by justifiable homicide.

My weight's down to 134. I'd still like to weigh between 132-133. That's where I feel I have some wiggle room.

This next bit comes to you from the Duh! Department.

Yesterday, on the mindfulness vs. IE front, I had a little breakthrough. After dinner I'm accustomed to eating a cup of fruit (blueberries, mangoes, etc.) with half a cup of Greek yogurt for dessert. It's delicious. But that dessert means I must stay upright for two hours before falling asleep or suffer some heartburn early in the night.

Last night before having my dessert I realized that it makes me uncomfortably full -- the point here being that, even though I value the feeling of being full, I realized it was uncomfortable to be THAT full. (Imagine that!)

So I considered that information and unpacked the "logic" that I eat my nightly fruit and yogurt dessert even though it makes me uncomfortably full because (1) it's important to me to be able to eat a fairly large number of calories and I'm afraid that if I don't eat enough every day my metabolic rate will lower and my maintenance calorie budget will decline and (2) I'm pushing hard to eat all my eight daily veggies and fruits, and dessert is my last chance to hit that target. Yet I often force-feed myself to achieve those goals. Hmmm ... that certainly seems weird and not appropriate behavior for someone who spent most of her life overweight, obese, and morbidly obese. Again ... hmmm.

And further from the Duh! Department, I realized it's the fruit, not the yogurt, that makes me too full. So last night I ate just the yogurt. And I had no heartburn. And I didn't feel uncomfortably full. And, honestly, the yogurt by itself was a much nicer treat.

So that's a small example of how mindfulness can help me deconstruct an eating behavior that could be improved. Yes, I still want to eat eight daily V/Fs, but I can find alternate ways to do that.

Why does something as obvious as all this seem like a breakthrough? How can I be so smart and still not understand this stuff better than I do?

Today's theme: Wake up!

We have all been there Ann! In particular, I know my nightly snack (which I plan for) is for my head hunger, not my real hunger, but I HAVE to have it.

Weight 119.2, calories 833. I'd rather be in my 115-118 previous range but seem to be more in 117-119 (with occasional forays above 119). I suppose a dexa scan might let me accept where I am especially if there is more muscle (there might be), but I feel like accepting a higher range is giving in like I used to when dieting and then the regain would begin.

Our friends went home a day early. The wife has agoraphobia (treated) and it seemed to be engaged possibly because she had an itchy rash on her body. She also fought with her cpap mask overnight and lost. Though I hate a change in plans, I'm not sorry they left as she causes anxiety when she is like that. BTW, she is a therapist. We are going to visit them for a couple of nights in August at their lakefront home. She is much better there and their lake is incredibly beautiful and peaceful. Lots of great walking with Justice! They are in the lake region of New Hampshire, close to Squam Lake where On Golden Pond was filmed. Very similar atmosphere and the sound of loons in the morning is a wonderful thing to wake up to.

Yoga this morning, then I'm not sure what. It is still incredibly humid with a chance of showers but we keep staying dry. So it is only comfortable inside with AC or at the beach. Hmmm... that's a unique idea.

Have a wondrous Wednesday!

Good morning from the WA state ferry system!

Long day yesterday, not quite as pre-organized as usual to scamper out the door to make the 5:35 ferry. But, I am here.....hopefully with everything I need. Fingers crossed for early open gas station on other side.

Have a great day, all.

Shel

Beautiful as always! Have a great day!

Ditto from me, Shel! Have a great day and fingers crossed for an open gas station.

And Liz, the beach sounds like a good idea! :)

all that tranquil and peaceful water. Just why you folks on the coasts won't share with us is beyond me.....

Ann-I've wondered about that too. A slightly different twist for me: let's say I take a healthy snack to work. Should I eat it when not hungry? IE would probably say no. But knowing myself, if I don't eat it and get too hungry, there's a much greater risk of eating something unhealthy in a hungry rage later. Or maybe I just need to teach myself that I cannot eat those unhealthy things in a hungry rage no matter what.

So speaking of that. I've been looking up sleep training for Becca. She's still a good sleeper compared to most babies, but she had been sleeping 10 hours a night from weeks 10-14! Then she hit what I thought was the dreaded 4 month sleep regression (or travel? Or teething? or 4 month shots? All or none?) and she's been consistently waking up around 4am to eat. My doctor warned me not to get her in this habit because it would be hard to break. But she seems genuinely hungry. However if I feed her at 4, then she's not hungry when she wakes up and her whole day is thrown off and we're trying to get her enough calories in awake time. So that's the struggle that has prompted me to research sleep schedules. There is of course the infamous "cry it out" and then varying styles of that where you only let them cry for a short stint before reassuring and you try to elongate that time, hoping they will learn to self soothe, etc.

When the thought hit me: I need to food train myself. I've become so accustomed to eating whenever I want to. I have no patience for hunger. I have lost the ability to "self soothe" without food. And honestly I do think this is true. You know how that first bit of time after starting a diet you're really hungry. And then you adapt and become okay? Still trying to decide what my "food training" will look like. Ultimately do I want to eliminate snacks? The more I think about it, the more the snacking is a problem, especially since I strongly favor unhealthy snacks. But I also don't want to stretch my sleeve. Maybe I will try to phase out snacking?

Weight: 166.6

Groan. Then again maybe I should be thanking my lucky stars it isn't higher.

I was so hungry again yesterday. Times like this really scare me. I ate what appeared to be a "normal person" plate. Aka where's my restriction?

As CSN&Young sang....Teach your parents well....

I believe you have a true eye opener in the works....Way to go, Becca!

I LOVE the concept of food training. Fan-freakin'-tastic, BB! I owe you one for that gem! Food Training.... it's making me gleeful!

I keep losing my posts! User error, but I think my aunt has scrambled my brain. Thank you for the countdown, Ann! 3 days...

Funny/maddening exchanges from yesterday:

#1 She has no money or working credit card with her. Her card expired and she swears they didn't send her a replacement yet because it just expired. What? So she says she wants me to take her to the local bank so she can cash the one check she has with her. I said I didn't think they would as she doesn't bank there and it's an out of state check. She said I was wrong and they'd do it for her. So I drove her there and waited in the car. She got back in and said it was a bust because "they don't have any money to give out". What???

#2 I asked my dad how to make their salmon. He texted sear it in a frying pan for 1.5 minutes a side, then put it in a 400 degree oven for 4 minutes. I told my aunt I was going to make the salmon and told her the directions. She said, "Oh, I could have told you that. That's exactly how I do it."

Then she came in the kitchen while I was taking out of the oven and she says, "You put it in a frying pan in the oven? I always do it on the grill."

Sorry for the weird font. I couldn't seem to fix it!