Saturday, July 21, 2018

Weight: 134.6
Macros: Cals 1,322, Carbs 149, Fats 36, Protein 89, Fiber 26
Sleep hours: 7.5
Vegetable/Fruit Servings: 8
Exercise: Aquarobics

Weight's up a tad, but due to having weighed at 3:30am. Eating less this week has been easy, and the nutritious, smaller portions have satisfied me. I've had no sugar cravings at all.

And now some more about intuitive eating, starting with Peps's post yesterday.

Peps, what you wrote yesterday about how you currently view your challenges and goals seemed important, at least that's the adjective that occurred to me. I support you completely in the approach you described.

The many reasons we continue to deal with food/weight/health/etc. issues vary in so many respects, person to person. X's issues are not Y's, even if they use the same words to describe them. Therefore, X's strategies aren't likely to produce the same results for Y. I appreciate that we respect our differences and don't try to enforce our approaches on each other.

As y'all know, I'm a control freak who loves numbers and data. The only time I don't plan/track my food or weigh every morning is when traveling. I eat very differently, i.e., much more and considerably more carb-heavy during vacations or pleasure trips than when I'm living six miles from the nearest grocery store or restaurant. In fact, ascetic is how a friend recently described my daily eating regimen at home.

The reason I don't track my food when I'm traveling is that almost four years ago my shrink insisted that I forswear MFP during trips to give my obsessive tendencies a rest. I've told him repeatedly that my tracking is not a hang-up but a superpower. I don't think he buys it. ;) Anyway, wandering back to my point ....

The philosophy that appeals most to me is Buddhism's Middle Way -- a life of moderation, lived between the extremes of sensual indulgence and self-mortification. In terms of food, I'm currently defining that as indulging myself when I'm away from home and disciplining my choices while at home. So far, that works, but it may not always work.

Would my ideal of moderation around food and eating be better served if I were to attempt to practice moderation every day, instead of eating high protein, at least 8 veggies and fruits daily, whole grains, and no dark chocolate while at home and, alternately, diving mouth-first into risotto, pasta, dessert and great wines every night in Venice? Maybe. But then there's the fact that I can't make great risotto and haven't found a restaurant within 200 miles of here that does. ;)

Intuitive eating interests me mostly because it highlights my need to pay better attention to my eating choices and behavior. I don't plan to stop tracking my food when I'm home. But I am aware that sometimes, even at home, I overeat simply because I've pre-decided to eat the whole portion. I'd like to get smarter about that.

I also think that being more present and mindful would help to moderate my eating choices and behaviors when I'm traveling, without lowering the pleasure I receive from delicious food and wine on those occasions when they're available.

Today's theme (unrelated to the musings above): Mow, mow, mow!

Weight 117.8, calories ? We went out to dinner with family last night and I did have some dessert and wine and did not track it...

You said it much more eloquently than I could Ann. Yesterday I was trying to say that I thought that each of us must have our own maintenance strategy tailored to our individual needs. What works for you may not for me and vice versa.

Ann, I sure hope you enjoy the mowing (I wouldn't). Good luck Carbon on the company again. I don't think I would say yes to 8 children in my house... Maybe I'd go stay elsewhere! Paula, keep dreaming. Cecily, I'm glad you made it to cooler MI, so hopefully your healing can finish up smoothly. BB, it's good that you take the high road with DH's former associates as it most certainly will pay off at some point. Devon, keep analyzing and keep snuggling those puppies (there is no substitute for unconditional love). Ocean, I hope those stairs came out well. Shel, any beautiful hikes on deck? Diane, surely bacon and fresh tomatoes are worth a splurge periodically (we haven't gotten local tomatoes yet - they ripen around he beginning of August here)?

Have a satisfying Saturday!

Liz, I second all your good wishes for our friends. And I hope you have a relaxing, fun weekend with your own company.

149.6

I like how you paired "eating choices" and "behavior" along with the mindful (used in a not so positive way) pre-decision to overeat the whole thing.

Chicken or the egg? I'm going with - motivation (that which drives my innermost desires and or needs--whether I am consciously aware of them or not--) is what forms my thinking about, in this case, food issues. Now, those feelings generate actions justifing behaviors that result in the gratification and meeting those innermost desires. This is the chronology of the matter. But,

What does the Buddha say about getting off that wheel (or am I making a hash out of Hinduism and Buddhism)? Or, maybe more correctly, where on that wheel is the initial adjustment needed? At the genesis? If my mind drives my behavior- will working through the falseness of the desire- predetermined decision change the behavior? I have thought so. However,

Alcoholics in the midst of their behaviors are not very good thinkers--maybe the same is true for eaters..in the middle of my behavior, can I be successful in changing my thinking-(predecision to eat the whole thing) or am I more likely to be compelled to fulfill those innermost desires/perceived needs (compulsive overeating)?

The last 3 or so days I have been only eating at the table with Kurt (with the exception of evening "snack") instead of making the meal and eating it while doing everything except pay attention to the food (trying to disregard- thus- disrespect it- call it nothing) The food items haven't changed, nor the portions I've put on my plate. What has changed is the amount I have eaten--that is--not the whole portion. Before, I was spending an hour or more eating oftentimes in solitude - and this led to continued grazing afterwards. Eating with Kurt puts a time limit on the experience and makes me pay attention to the plated food in front of me. I seem to be more aware of fullness and food satisfaction (mindful eating list #s).

Who knows whether or if I can maintain the discipline necessary to give my brain enough time in the midst of food sobriety to change my heart-motivation-needs and desires for what food is and can do for me- thus resulting in true/lasting changes (as opposed to white knuckling it which (as Peps has so well pointed out) is exhausting and not lasting).

Checking it out--something different --change on the inside--

Kurt is letting the grass grow a bit after the rain (we "meadow lawn" - having no neighbors, and surrounded on three sides by corn fields--no problem.). Maybe sometime next week.

To day I see an art project somewhere in the making. While the quilt is ready to go, the muse has not urged me to begin, and I have been procrastinating by raising the hems of some of my skirts and dresses in anticipation of the new school year upcoming--a no brainer activity.

Here's a familiar, related topic that could overlay the intuitive eating topic(s): "Are you an abstainer or a moderator?"

I just read a straightforward blog on this question that generated several hundred fairly intelligent responses that, hilariously, revealed most people don't feel like they are either an abstainer or a moderator or at least not every day pertaining to every kind of food or online shopping or time wasted on Facebook, and that abstaining seems easier to most people than moderating, unless you define moderation differently than IE people define it ... and so many other degrees and so many other definitions of both styles, ad infinitum. LOL! Seriously, the comments are pretty funny.

https://gretchenrubin.com/2012/10/back-by-popular-demand-are -you-an-abstainer-or-a-moderator/

Apparently, many are not comfortable being pigeonholed as one or the other. And many want to change their minds about what will work best for them, depending on a variety of factors -- like what's going on right now! LOL!

It also seems that the compulsion of Lifestyle Police to categorize and type folks is a pretty reliable way to **** them off.

P.S. My mowing this morning was curtailed when a Very Large Bull pushed down a neighbor's fence and got into my yard. He was very unhappy and wanted to go home. But he couldn't find home, and he didn't know how to get back there. So I decided to cede the field of battle to him.

Bulls rule. Always.

Greetings My Precious Ones

This will be sort of a drive by as I have gallery duty today for 7 hours and I must pack up lots of toys to amuse myself. Maybe I will spend some time writing up a better maintenance strategy. I am sort of doing the intuitive eating thing and have for the past couple of years and it has resulted in some regain. So gotta make a few changes. I think I am not doing enough protein and need to adjust that. I used to eat a lot of jerky for lunch and now do cheese sticks. More fat and calories. Last night's dinner was crunchy bacon (smaller amount) and a half ear of organic sweet corn. It was to die for good. Odd to go to the store and purchase one ear of corn but it worked out. Very satisfying. Also a farmers market peach earlier in the day. Perfect. I don't think I will get fat on this stuff

Anyway, gotta go make coffee to go and pack up junk. More later.

Diane S

As an introvert, I need a lot of alone time to recharge. My aunt is like a limpet. I can't shake her! She was talking about the cute little lake side church here and I said if you want to go to services tomorrow, I'll drive you over. She sounded really interested. Then I said just call when you're done and I'll come get you. At that point, she said she wouldn't go. She said that's alright, I'll just do what you want. What I want is an hour and a half to myself!!!! And my dad is so short with her, she doesn't want to hang out with him. **** 8 more days of this and 3 of those, he's heading to Mayo for a procedure with his wife so it's just the two of us. Kill me now please.

We're watching tv right now because it's pouring outside and she says we'll watch what you want to watch, but everything I land on she asks you want to watch this? So I change the channel. The third time I snapped at her. Argh.

She food polices me too. How can you eat when we just had breakfast, she asks. I say we ate 3 hours ago. She says well I'm still full. I say, well I'm not. While I'm eating I hear, how can you eat that whole sandwich? Then she keeps digging into the bag of Sun Chips I bought that are nearly gone in 24 hours. I had 4 chips. Argh again. And lots of comments about how fast I eat.

Thank you for letting me vent (like you had a choice!).

Give me patience!

Oh, Cecile! Your auntie needs to go into a sealed pickle barrel for the duration! (Pickle barrel- that's the term my mom used to use regarding the best place to keep girls in from ages 9-thru.-15 or so- you know, that insufferable time when girls are snippy, snotty, selfish and totally temperamental.).

You defiantly need some space and peaceful time away from such soul sucking personality. How's about, "Auntie, I am off to _______ for about _________ (minutes-hours-days-whatever). See you in a little bit- bye". Now, when she volunteers her company and invites herself to go with you---the response is simply, "No thank you. See You in a bit". Repeat as needed- do not fall into the black hole of justification- not necessary.

It has taken me many years to learn that it is ok to say no-no thank you. I could have benefited from that freeing lesson so much sooner.

May you find the joy of some solitude--and soon.

What SHE said ^^^^^!

"No, thank you. Bye!"