Friday June whatever

100% of any one kind of thinking doesn't work for me.

I like to borrow what diet messaging I need in the moment. I expect that to change over time. My hope is to recognize when I need to change.

I definitely need boundaries.

My dysfunctional compulsions can bully my intuition. In my current state, it isn't a fair fight. This doesn't bother me.

I tend to agree with M150, this has little to do with food.

Weight 117, calories 681. In case you are wondering, I did want a low day but ended up lower than planned due to my appointments yesterday. I didn't want breakfast after my dental visit in the am due to a numb lip and tongue. Then I missed my afternoon snack due to a long hair appointment. And ate dinner late due to DH's schedule. Interesting that I wasn't really feeling hunger until I started preparing food. Hmmm...

Intuitive eating (principles copied from yesterday below)? I think people like SIL who have always been thin practice it without thinking and always have. The problem for me is that I have tried to adopt so many forms of "healthy" eating previously and none of them was a long term fit. I feel that we have to each have our own "principles". Now I do think these are good as "guidelines". I feel like I keep most of them in mind though I'm still trying to figure out 5 and 6 (hence my frequent musings about whether I am truly hungry or not).

SIL doesn't track and only weighs every few months. I think she just judges what should be on her plate and eats it. She doesn't have the urge to snack. I've seen her eat a snack about 3-4 times and only when dinner is very late. She doesn't eat appetizers when available at a gathering.

Someone also commented on how critical one group can be of another's philosophies. I have a hard time with that, again because I think we need to find and stay on our own path. As an example, there are some rabid people on OH about alcohol in any form at any time. I think a glass or even two of wine periodically is up to the person. Should we have a lot very frequently? Of course not and obviously we should be aware of the risk of transfer addiction. But if I want a glass of good wine with my meal and really enjoy it without drinking the entire bottle, it is my prerogative.

10 Principles to Intuitive Eating:

1. Reject the Diet Mentality
2. Honor Your Hunger
3. Make Peace with Food
4. Challenge the Food Police
5. Respect Your Fullness
6. Discover the Satisfaction Factor
7. Honor Your Feelings Without Using Food
8. Respect Your Body
9. Exercise-Feel the Difference
10. Honor Your Health

Today we have two sets of company arriving, so dinner out tonight, tomorrow night, etc. through Tuesday or Wednesday. My house won't be like Carbon's, but it will be busy.

Have a fun Friday!

Definitely like the intuitive eating talk. I suppose the part I like best is respecting your body/hunger, and rejecting the dieting mentality. I have commented over and over that I think diets made me fat. And it's extremely hard for me not to play those tapes. And for that reason I, like Miss Bonnie, find weightloss somewhat easier. at least in the game approach. Because our culture so applauds the diet mentality. And it's easier to blacklist certain foods (ala Keto) and lose weight. But long term maintenance is so hard, especially when we've been taught that food is the enemy and our bodies cannot be trusted. I still can't entirely trust my body, but I'd like to work towards getting honest with myself. Because I think a lot of my relationship with food has been lies. I'm so far from that basic healthy relationship with food where I don't fear it'll be taken away (because of an upcoming diet) so that I need to overeat. My aha moment of the day was Diane O.'s comment about eating food because it's enjoyable AND you're hungry. That is what I want to work towards and what I've seen naturally thin people do.

Weight 167. This is more of a normal weight.

I went to happy hour with DH last night and I'm not sure what to make of it. The higher up at DH's ex-company who apparently made the decision to let DH go (although this guy had only been there all of 2 mo.!) and also is currently publicizing an opening for essentially DH's "demoted" position was there. This is very unusual because I never see management of this level out. (I believe they are having a huge morale problem and attrition rate is very high since the layoffs) Now don't worry. I did the adult thing. But given what I've been praying for I have to wonder if this was a God thing. In the meantime DH seems less interested in returning, especially while he's getting severance (which would be forfeited). DH did go up to this guy to chat. And then the guy came to my side of the table (wayyyy down) and introduced himself and wanted to know me. And because others were asking about my baby, this prompted him to ask about Nugget. I would've loved to tell him she was approximately "layoff months old." Bad Bonnie. But I see the other side too. I've never seen my husband more shattered than when he had to let people go. So I sympathize with this guy...except he just posted my husband's job 2 months later!! Grrr. But I remembered my theme from yesterday (or the day before?). It's a small small world. And being nice costs nothing and takes no skill. No one will EVER be able to say anything against us like that. I hate that his loyalty and honesty didn't seem to factor in to those decisions (he's the guy who would eat out cheaply or take the cheap flight if it was on the company expense.). But I'm sure those attributes have gained us far more advantages in life than not. It was just really strange and I have to wonder why we keep confronting these things? Maybe it's to help move on.

Bonnie, you and your husband are a class act! And you will reap so many benefits from that choice.

Amen!

Oh Carbon, 8 children????? You are a saint for hosting!

Last day off from work. Booooooo! 144.8, bigger Booooooo! What is it about cookies Carbon? I ate three already this morning too! I made them last night - didn't have any real cookies last might but did snitch some dough. Hopefully the boys will devour them and I will be safe again.

Had a dream that Ben came back from the dead, kind of like a Zombie but not zombie looking, just Ben looking. He was very frisky and better in bed than he had ever been IRL. LOL. My menopausal hormones must be acting up! He had super powers too. He was doing VSG on random people on the street (successfully) and he could bandage someone up like a mummy with just his mind. My Mom (in my dream) warned me that his appearance was just a figment of my imagination but an aunt said she really saw him too. I wonder what a dream interpreter would say about that one???

Getting DS#3's (aka Ben's old car) serviced today and late afternoon/early evening I am teaching hands only CPR at the local minor league baseball team's game - "CPR at the Park". I've volunteered at this event in the past and have been it's honored "survivor" in the past as well. It should be pretty fun.

This dream interpreter says it means you love him and miss him and miss the intimacy and that he is still your hero.

I think that is a very good interpretation Devon!

Whenever I dream of Elise I wake up feeling happy (though I don't very frequently anymore unfortunately). I feel like I've had a visit with her no matter how improbable the dream has been.

Goodness Carbon! You do need some "me" time.

My parents are about to entertain grandchildren--and I'm only adding to their troubles since I've asked them to watch Becca for the first time on their one night without the nieces, and furthermore I will not be at the office for 2 weeks because my babysitter has her long trip.

They have twins coming next week (luckily only one at a time for 1/2 week each), and then her older sister after that.

Any way you can ask for help? Get people helping in the kitchen or with household chores? Sometimes you can make this fun, even. And if it's family I definitely don't mind asking. That being said, I'm bad about taking my own advice because no one ever does it my way and I have to go back and redo it anyway.