06/29/18, TGIF

Diane S.-summer colds are, imho, the worst! Hope you get better. Interesting about the obese resort. I'm trying to think if I'd enjoy all those things if I just weren't around skinny people. The skinny people definitely make it harder to enjoy. That being said, I still find some things very challenging physically--like paddleboarding or canoing. I wi**** weren't true, but I think life is so much easier at a normal weight. But I still have to wonder

Ann-I feel as though I'm going on your trip! Cannot wait for updates. I hope you'll enjoy and immerse...but secretly hoping for an update or two!

Paula-you still haven't left my thoughts. I think it's wonderful that you are trying to find a routine and reaching out with a new bible study. I'm sure that everything you will feel in the coming months is totally normal and I'm glad you have us and we have you.

Shel-any big hikes this weekend? How did you get into hiking, after all?

Devon-sorry to hear about vacay numbers. I think that'll be me next week. I have to wonder why, too. And is that okay and good? I never know if my behavior is normal or abnormal? I do think it's fairly normal to let looser on vacay. But do I eat things on vacay just because I've deemed it "let loose" time? If that makes sense?

Shopping last night went fairly well. DSS really got into it, and he's usually the one it's like pulling teeth to get him to do anything with us. DSD actually didn't find anything, but was really helpful with Becca and with "styling" DSS and DH. I'm always amazed at nights last night after all I've been through with my step kids. I have some friends currently trying to balance the stepparent equation and I tell them the kids are always watching. Do good even when someone isn't deserving or isn't returning the favor. It usually pays off.

I think this vacation will be really good for all of us. Even if we do have to take it slow with a baby. DSD was talking about taking outfits to coordinate so we can take a family beach picture...y'all I can't even tell you how opposite this behavior is from what we experienced 3 years ago!

We are leaving on the 4th, so tomorrow will be our big cookout. Rich and I are smoking a couple pork shoulders. My aunt is bringing a corn dish. I want to make a macaroni salad and baked beans to go with and I'm facing a dilemma--make good old fashioned recipes full of calories and just eat a tad (I only do anyway) or try to make healthier versions. I used to always try and make healthy substitutions when I did WW and the like, but most of the time nowadays I just rarely make these and go for the best. But I'm trying to lose weight and so are others in my party.

Yummy sounding cookout--If you are only going to eat a "tad" and others are trying to loose also, maybe make Just Enough for that to happen for all- reasonable servings and no more. Everyone being polite, I hope, there will be no left overs and you can make the best of the best which, of course, is a good reason to taste a tad of anything---To enjoy the pleasure of food. Remember, it is those first 3 bites that truly count.

So happy to hear that family is coming together in surprisingly positive ways--I totally agree with your attitude about doing good- Do the right thing because it is the right thing to do.

Bonnie -- I'm not being smart-alecky at all when I say, "Gee, I never thought of cooking only a small amount of a high-calorie dish -- so nobody would be tempted to overeat what was obviously intended to be a food treat."

Makes me realize how deeply I was imprinted as a child with the value that offering people LOTS AND LOTS OF FOOD is the very best way to be hospitable and show affection.

Jeez, in some ways I'm still a hot mess. ;)

I definitely link food with hospitality and love, too. Is that a southern thing?

And I have this weird fear of there not being enough food. As if I've ever gone hungry!

I still sometimes have trouble not thinking more=better. Thank God for my sleeve.

I know we talked about kids and their eating habits and weight the other day (I want to note that I mention these things only in the interest of science, no judgment whatsoever!). I love love love(d) food and ate all the fruits and vegetables under the sun, and yet I was fat. Do I love food too much? Even now, I think about food often. It almost saddens me that I cannot eat as often/as much as I want because there are just so many wonderful foods out there to be had. But I have always been a fairly healthy eater. I preferred homemade meals to fast food, in fact. My cousins kids are great eaters too, and they are showing early signs of a weight problem.

My sisters kids are the pickiest eaters on the planet and are skinny as twigs. My stepkids are also very picky (we went through a period where it seemed that all DSD would eat was chicken nuggets and slushies...and she was 15!!). They are both very skinny. Even now, DSD would refuse any vegetable except corn, peas, and potatoes (and I don't even really consider those vegetables, at least not in the same way that broccoli or lettuce is).

Just something to think about as I hope to raise a daughter who enjoys food and eats a wide variety, but who has a healthy appreciation for satiety and "just enough."

I'm still practicing being okay with less. I do vigorously and wholly support moderation in all things, but often that's a much harder practice. Quickly it can become "I can eat anything, so yes to x, y, and z!!!" Eating in moderation doesn't mean you always get what you want all the time. And that's hard. But I try and remember this is not just true for food. It's true for budgets and other things as well. The other hard thing about eating anything, like I try to do, is that you're always in the gray area. It might be easy for someone on keto to say no to cake because that's a no-no food. I have to do a check of is it worth it, how much will I eat of it, am I willing to sacrifice other calories that day for it, can I stop when I'm satisfied. I'm trying to emulate natural, healthy, eaters, though it is anything but natural to me. And clearly I haven't mastered it yet :) Still have a ways to go.

So I don't mind "healthifying" certain foods as long as the food is still tasty. What I strongly oppose is eating bad food, healthy or not. Like egg whites or egg substitute. (one exception is a breakfast place I go to that miraculously makes egg sub taste good!) I love my breakfast egg. It's about 70 calories. I feel eggs are natural and healthy and the 50ish calorie savings on egg substitute is so not worth it! I also have just about given up on yogurt. I've probably wasted $500 in yogurt over the years! I hate the texture, I hate the tanginess. In my head I'm doing myself good by buying it. But ultimately I either don't eat it, or I feel like I'm being punished when I do.

And a very Happy Belated Birthday to you!!!

151.4 It is what it is.

Perspective..interesting ... yes. Things are just what they are-no more or less. Which window we are looking through makes the difference in how we perceive the scene- what we think and feel about the situation. Deep thoughts about integrity, body image, scale weight, - how those thoughts and feeling drive my behaviors and so then reveal who I am and how, sometimes that revelation is in contrast to who I think I want to be----all this bubbles to the surface and puzzles me. But-

Breath! Find a footing and breath. Such good advise!

Cecily, I am so thankful that you were in the right place and with the right Doctor! Can't fix what we don't know is broken- knowledge here is the grace necessary to address the problem. Heal well. I am so glad this was discovered.

Ann- have just the best trip. Enjoy every minute.

I live! I'm getting released within the hour with sore arms from Lovenox shots and a prescription for Eliquis for the foreseeable future. (They wanted to do my stomach, but I have nothing to grab to stab so I opted for flabby arms)

Lesson for me to share is never ignore that little voice that is telling you something might be wrong because you feel silly or like you're bothering your doctor. Better to feel silly than die!

And Diane O, you're so right with your message on perspective and breathe!!!

Thank you all for your well wishes! I feel comforted by the hospitalist saying I'm young and tolerating the clot really well, so I should be fine with treatment. Oh and they ultrasounded my legs. It came from my left calf. They were surprised by my skinny ankles and lack of any swelling. And I overheard my ER nurse tell my charge nurse when I was admitted that "she's 46, but looks 28". Funny how at such a dark moment skinny ankle compliments and knocking 18 years off your looks can make your day. Apparently vanity never takes a holiday!

Let's all have a better day than the one before, even if yours was great!

I'm so glad you are okay! What a scary thing! But 28 now, huh? When you feel better we will need pics.

I am laughing -- nay, roaring! -- out loud. Do you know that you look 40% younger than your actual age?! Oh, that's a helluva metric! :)

In my book, that means your hospital stay and near-death experience is in the win column.

:)

Bwahahaha! I love the way you think, Ann!