Sunday, June 17, 2018

139.2 I think.

Boys and I went out for lunch (Asian/sushi), shopped at the Mall for Celebration of Life clothes for the boys and then a Costco run.

I feel like I am living outside of myself looking in. Numb. Except for the wailing and sobbing I did right when Ben died and a little crying jag later in the day yesterday, I have not cried. I think that is weird as I feel like I should be sad/crying 24/7. I think I just need to process the enormity of what has just happened, which I imagine won't happen until after his Celebration of Life. I'm still in "care for everything/everyone mode" which doesn't allow for much self reflection. Maybe it is self-protection mode! I'm sure "the feels" will ebb and flow. I do miss him already. It just all seems surreal right now.

Love red raspberries! Glad they rank high on the chart! I was surprised about the cucumbers! Nice hiking pics as usual Shel.

It will come when it comes. Sometimes when you least expect it, sometimes when you purposely let it in. But there is no right or wrong way to grieve. There's nothing wrong with self-protection, just remember to take care of you too in between caring for everyone else!

Be well, Paula.

Everyone grieves in his or her own way. Your grief will be uniquely yours just as your boys' grief will be uniquely theirs.

Hugs and prayers.

Paula, I hear you.

Being numb is how I coped in the beginning too. It will allow you to do what needs to be done. You will thaw when you are ready. After DD, that was a very slow process for me but eventually I could feel again.

Dear Paula,

Numb is pretty normal. Don't feel like you must cry. grief evolves in many ways. I sometimes think all the rituals following a passing such as celebrations, visits and all of it help keep you busy and occupied during these early days. So just go with it and lean on all your friends and family. Blessings. Diane S

Greetings Dear Ones

Late today - had to go to the gallery early and stay all day due to the Fish Festival. Lots of visitors and decent sales so worth the effort. But it pretty much kills the day. There was some live music, some of which was terrific, but one group near us was terrible.

Thinking of Paula and the whirlwind of things that will happen for awhile. Wishing strength and courage as needed and sleep and some peaceful time.

Love the pics Shel. I didn't know bear grass bloomed. Ditto the "J" shaped trees.

Peps, get an airedale tattoo. Why not? Its your skin!

Not much else going on. More tomorrow.

Blessings. Diane S