Tuesday, June 12, 2018

Weight: 133.8
Macros: Cals 1,547, Carbs 127, Fats 56, Protein 102, Fiber 36
Sleep hours: 5.5
Vegetable/Fruit Servings: 7
Exercise: Porch yoga (Yesterday morning I skipped aquarobics, because the deck and the breeze were so much nicer and not 7 miles away.)

Bonnie, those are some massively positive vibes you're putting out for us. Thank you so much. :)

Paula, I've just read your most recent Caring Bridge post. Thank you for your letters from Ben's bedside. They offer help to so many people. These passages are some of life's most important moments, but so few of us know what they're like or how to navigate them. You're teaching us all.

* * *

This morning, my weight was up a smidge. But after all, I did step on the scales at 1:00 a.m., so never mind. Last night was one of those increasingly rare short-sleep nights.

First my positives and a negative:

#1 It rained this morning; we needed it.

#2 Yoga class this morning was so nice.

#3 I'm eating an early lunch and watching "my" birds eating from the front porch feeder. No matter what color or species they are, they all manage to get along and take turns. No wars or diplomatic breakdowns that I can see.

#4 I didn't get to meditate this morning at home, because I finally fell back to sleep at 5:00 am. Actually, that's a fourth positive thing.

#5 OK, trying once more for a negative ... I got nuthin'.

Today's theme: Be like the birds and just all get along. :)

Greetings Nature Bathers

Well my nature bath last night consisted of opening a kitchen window to air out from cauliflower cooking. DH went to close it and it somehow broke. Unleashed swearing like you would not believe including blaming me for breaking the window sliding mechanism which I did not do. Then we watched Doc Martin and I proceeded to tease him all evening about over reacting to the window. We got over it.

Not over my weight however. 150. Positive # 1, it could be worse. Positive #2 while it sprinkled a bit, we didn't get a storm with the cardboard taped window. Positive #3: what a great bunch of friends I have here.

So back to forrest bathing: yes I expected to read about people swimming in little ponds. Ann is right, someone is quite a marketer there. Didn't any of these people go to summer camp as kids and learn the nature experience without reading it out of a magazine? I imagine a boy scout merit badge in learning how to drink water. Maybe we should practice lapping water like forrest creatures to get the full experience.

Yep, Bonnie150 please write your article. Bet Ann is a super editor.

And Peps, what dreams you report! Amazing you remember the detail. I once dreamed a flotilla of black and white cows with guns invaded San Francisco. We were all hiding but laughing.

Liz, here is to a great beach day for you. And Cecily, here is to a healing one for you. Glad the surgeon did something for you and that the healing honey works. I looked it up on the internet wondering if it would help my hands.

Well Carbon, you can learn a lot from the crochet mavens. Hope its enjoyable. My grandmother used to make fabulous things and I still have a few. I remember in the 70's we all used heavy cord to crochet hand bags and dyed them purple. I know someone who crochets thin wire into interesting jewelry.

BB glad you got plants in. What did you choose? I was going to suggest marigolds and zinnias as good heat tolerant plants.

Thinking of Paula as always. Seems so inadequate.

Well, this cup of coffee has become inadequate so time for more. Blessing to all. Diane S

Weight: forgot again

I'm all honeyed up today and prior to that, had my half body shower. Such a production to get ready for the day, but it felt good. Also shaved my legs for the second time in 35 days. How's that for a positive?

Tonight I'm joining friends for their pre-theater dinner. No theater for me - that's too much sitting in uncomfortable chairs, but it'll be nice to see them for dinner.

Nothing else to report. I shall endeavor to sip the water and experience what it is to swallow the water...

Love and peace to Paula and Ben.

That forest bathing article and y'alls comments about it are sounding funnier and funnier to me.

How's this for a "forest bathing" story: This morning after yoga class I drove my "hired grandson" through the woods pointing out trees that need to be trimmed and cut down this summer. Then I came back to the house and got dressed up, in heels and a dress no less, and drove to town to attend a women's club luncheon. Yes, my name is Ann, and I'm turning into one of those people.

Anyhoo, while listening to the speaker talk about her Native American heritage, I felt something climbing up my throat. And yes, friends, it was a tick. I discreetly picked it off, folded it inside a paper napkin about a hundred times, and put a table knife on top of the folded napkin.

Unfortunately, I wasn't quite discreet enough. The woman on my left saw what was transpiring and was visibly grossed out. And I mean visibly. Like SHE'S never found a tick on her before.

City people!

Geez, I'd be chuckling. I've found quite a few ticks in strange places.

Clearly she's never walked in the woods with her dog! Can 't tell you how many ticks I had as a kid!
May she have to pee in the woods one day and wipe with poison ivy! (Okay, perhaps a little wicked.)

Did I ever tell y'all about the time Ron was chopping jalapeño peppers and went to pee without washing his hands first? Funny as hell, but not really, if you know what I mean!

At least you got him before he had you for lunch!

Love all this dream stuff. Peps, I have the teeth falling out dream too. And also the one of going to a class for a test that I forgot I signed up for or not being able to figure out what and where my classes were. And the bar exam was a nightmare for years.

But mostly I have fun silly dreams. After my mom died I often dreamed of her as well as my long deceased dad. It was like we were all much younger in the fun family days. A joy. Also, my very very best friend died about 3 years ago. She often visits me in dreams and we do what we always did in real life - make fun of stuff and laugh and laugh.

Sooner or later Ann your DH will show up in your dreams. My shrink asked me about this after mom died. He thinks its a good thing.

I also often have dreams about pigging out horribly and then wake up to "phew, glad I didn't eat all that." Now what does that mean. ?

Diane S

Hello everyone. I find myself back here reading almost every day to see what's happening with Paula, Ben and family, so thought I'd check in. I had a Caring Bridge connection but can't locate it now. Let's hope they can feel all the love and strength we are sending.

Weight is holding at 117. I've been doing a bit of evening eating these last couple days, so can't claim anything close to perfection. For me, that's really alright and it is merely something I observe rather than emotionally react to. I'm grateful for that deep change.

Heading outside to do some light gardening while enjoying the sunshine. Violet might need a new battery so I haven't been very far afield yet. Looking forward to riding, RV-ing and working a lighter schedule during July and August. Lots of uncertainty around DH's continued employment. We are hoping he will be let got with a nice fat financial package, but we won't know until end of June.

Peace out, my friends. Love you.

Hey you! Want you to know that our little visit and convo triggered a next step for me. When you mentioned having an advantage in maintenance identifying as a thin person (as you had been for your youth and early adulthood). After some reflection, angst, and a push in therapy, I realized I don't have a physical identity other than someone who struggles with weight is unhappy about my weight and my core physicality. Even when I am thin I am dissatisfied with what I see in the mirror because it is not the person I envision in my mind's eye. I can't and won't ever be the person I imagine or fantasize myself as being. If I'm not that person, who the hell am I? This puts me at a new advantage. It's one more piece of my f'd up puzzle. So, I must say thanks! Hugs!